Confessions of a Potter Princess
by prinadean
Summary: Glamorous and wild,this Princess has almost everything anyone could ever want. Born into wealth and beauty all Charlotte Potter needs now is to find her own fabulous way, in life and love. First Story Please Review.
1. It always starts on the dance floor

Confessions of a Potter Princess

His name is Rainier Malfoy and it's his first time in London. The people around me whispered and gossiped about what a Malfoy was doing back in England. I wondered who could possibly overshadow the presence of a Potter during the Wizarding London's nightlife.

I, of course knew all about Rainier. The Malfoy story was infamous. His father Draco was on mission for Lord Voldemort when he met a muggle woman in Russia. They fell in love, and he kicked the whole Death Eater habit. On the run from the Dark Lord he aided in Old Voldy's downfall by feeding what information he knew to my father. Next thing you know Voldy's caput and my father is the savior of the wizarding world. Then Lucius Malfoy, Rainier's grandfather, rather than accept the fact that his son loved a mudblood went crazy and became severely abusive, trying to murder Draco and his young Russian muggle wife. Narcissa, his grandmother, then proceeded to murder Lucius for hurting her beloved son. And while nobody really mourned the lost, the ministry couldn't just let her get away with it so they exiled her to Transylvania, which is where the Malfoys have resided since.

Apparently Rainier had gone to Durmstrang and was 20 years old, the same age as my brother Jude. He was a new recruit for the England National Quidditch Team, of which my father was coach.

My name is Charlotte Lily Potter and by now you could probably guess that I'm Harry Potter's daughter. My mother is Ginevra Potter. My dad is a retired quidditch star who now coaches and my mom is Founder and President of Dumbledore's Hearts of Gold, a charity organization that provided shelter for victims of The Second War and fundraised to rebuild the wizarding world, though now she mostly raises money for various St. Mungo's causes and whatnot.

I'm 17 years old and a recent graduate of Hogwarts. Right now I'm on summer break and trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. I mean I have enough gold in my trust fund to basically be set for life but I want to find something that I love to do. I'm about 5'9" have dark auburn hair and green eyes. I'm the fourth child of six. I have three older brothers: Caliber 22, pro quidditch player for the England national team and Puddlemere United; Maxim 21, a restaurateur and nightclub owner, and Jude 20, who is pursuing a music career, a passion of his since he was old enough to hold a spoon in his hand and bang a pot. I also have a younger brother Dane 9, and younger sister Tierney 7.

Right now I'm at opening night at Carnivale, a new hotspot owned by my Uncle's Fred and George's friend Lee Jordan in association with my brother Maxim. As a Potter Princess I get into all the clubs VIP status and all my drinks are free. I do admit I like to party and go out. Ever since I've come of age, it seems the paparazzi has followed me everywhere, all trying to get a glimpse of the latest wild child Potter in action

I'm with one of my best friend's Delilah Longbottom, a thin blond with huge blue eyes and round cheeks. With her sooty lashed baby blues and petite stature she is deceptively innocent looking. Her parents are Neville and Luna Longbottom and dear friends of my own parents. We've been best friends since forever; she is the most honest, trustworthy, caring, person I know. But with horrible taste in men. See, she just happened to be dating my brother Maxim. They were sickeningly sweet together; had been since Delilah grew breasts at 15. Now 2 years later, they're still going strong. They were the couple, who in school, you knew would end up married with 12 kids with black hair and blue eyes and have a house with a white picket fence.

That it is if my brother ever decided to pop the question. He always just rolled his eyes whenever I asked him about it mumbling something about commitment. What he didn't understand is that I didn't care how much they loved each other or any of his issues; I just wanted to get a new dress for the ceremony since I was sure to be Maid of Honor, because Delilah only had brothers, and for Delilah to really be my sister. Still it made me feel like I had overdosed on Honeyduke's sweetest chocolate just thinking about it. I know I may seem a little bitter, but I'm not. It's just I'm tired of couples and all that couple-dom.

The problem is people like Rainier; tall, blonde with narcotic blue-grey eyes and a graceful, casual elegance. He was the kind of guy that could make any girl lose their inhibitions. He was probably gay. I'm dancing with some cute dark-haired guy when I see him. Its stupid and cliché but as I see him walk through the door, I know I've never wanted anything so bad I continue to dance with various people seeing if he'll notice me in my silk minidress, stiletto heels flipping my dark red hair, emerald eyes flashing with a mix of alcohol and my love to dance. It's insane but I could feel his hands on my body, feel those lips gruffly kissing every inch of me, and hear myself moan at the thought.

The dance floor is suddenly stifling and I need a drink so I ditch mystery boy number 5 of the night and go to Delilah at the bar. I order a Cosmo and turn to face Delilah. I look over my shoulder trying to keep Rainier in my line of sight. Oh god, he just looked at me. I turn around and take another drink of my martini. I watch him out of the corner of my eye. Some tall-dark-haired-familiar-looking man next to him whispers something in his ear. He nods and smiles. Oh Merlin, he's walking this way. I hit Delilah, who's too busy looking for Maxim, to pay attention.

"Dee, make it look like were talking"

"Ow! Charlotte I can't find Max anywhere, and I haven't seen him all day, because I've been with you. And all you've been doing is flirting with guys, while I stand there and say sorry I'm taken and you go for a shag in the loo."

"Ok first of all that's not my problem. You can flirt with whoever you like. Don't take your frustration with my commitment-phobic brother out and me. Second of all forget Max and look over by the entrance now"

"What- Oh is that the Malfoy"

"Yeah and he's coming this way"

"Oh look is that Caliber with him"

"Cal, what are you tal-"

But it's too late.

"Hey, Charlotte"

I spin around and there is my brother (no wonder the man looked so familiar) standing next to Rainier Malfoy in all his golden Greek god glory. I immediately feel my heart start to pound and palms sweat. He's staring at me just as intently.

"Oh hey Delilah", Cal says noticing the blond. Delilah nods and smiles in response. "Charlotte this is Rainier Malfoy, Dad's new recruit. We met at training camp last winter and he's one hell of a chaser.

He takes my drink-free hand and kisses it softly; both of us still silent, never breaking eye contact. The place where his lips touched my skin searing with heat, I feel myself blush and I pray to god he's not gay. I hear Delilah giggle behind me.

"Rainier this is Charlotte my _younger_ sister. Speaking of which don't you think it's a little bit past your bedtime"

I turn to face Caliber pissed that he ruined the moment with his stupid comment.

"Oh please Cal", I say, "I'm 17, which I might add is 2 years older then the last girl you were photographed with"

"I already told you, she was doing an internship with the prophet and wanted an interview"

"With your tonsils", I snapped

"Touché princess, I honestly have no idea why Rainier here wanted to meet you"

"Don't you have an Assholes Anonymous meeting to go to?"

"As long as it's not Assholes for Abstinence, I'm good. Anyway Rainier you make nice with the girls here. I have my eye on a hot little brunette by the stage."

"Actually Cal, have you seen Maxim?" Delilah asks speaking up for the first time.

"Yeah, he was being interviewed by Witch Weekly over there," he says pointing over his shoulder, eyes never leaving his latest prey.

"Well I guess I'll go join him", she says excusing herself.

"Use protection", she whispers in my ear, giggling, as she walks past.

I rolled my eyes and turn to face Rainier again, swooning almost instantly.

"And then there were two" he says laughing almost nervously. He had a sexy laugh, deep and uninhibited, I couldn't help but notice how elegantly handsome he was.

"And then there were two", I repeated.

We stared at each other a few minutes and I felt myself blush again under his gaze. Blush, oh Merlin, I'm blushing. I don't blush it just doesn't happen. I mean last time I blushed I fell in love and that really fucked me over. I mean literally. We dated for two years. I lost my virginity to the guy (Michael Masterson a name never uttered in the Potter household) and he sleeps with Nicola McCarran, who had been one of my best friends. And since then I have been very careful about getting too attached. I had truly mastered the art of breaking up. You know after the first 6 weeks when all the cheesy, infatuation and new boy bliss dies down and those quirks about him just aren't cute anymore, but before you feel yourself growing too content and affectionate. If that happens, then you have to stick it out for like three months so you don't look like a total tease.

I hear the sound of the doors opening as the club is finally opened up to non VIPs. The people come into the room quickly and the bar crowds fast. I'm forced closer to Rainier and suddenly realize my body is practically resting against his. I feel a tingle in my right arm and leg where my body is touching his. I wonder if I'm having the same affect he's having on me and then I realize I'm not because he's most definitely gay. I mean really straight men just don't smell so good, and have such an easy masculine charm to them. I swear he can hear my heart drumming. My great aunt Meredith who's practically deaf could probably here it in Ireland. This is ridiculous, what could possibly be so different about this guy. I finish off my drink and place the empty martini glass on the marble bar counter

"Do you want to dance?" I ask coyly a flirtatious smile playing on my lips. I grab his hand and lead him out to the dance floor not waiting for him to answer. I find the beat and start dancing, twirling and moving to the music. I turn to him and he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me close. Our bodies pressed together his hands on my hips, my hands playing with his soft blonde hair. We dance for awhile completely touching every bit of ourselves pressed together as closely as possible, and his hand playing with the hem of my short blue silk slip dress. I feel him breathing hotly, lustily. It's magnetic. These were definitely not the moves of a gay man. His hand moves just a bit higher slipping under the hem of the dress sliding over my bare leg sending chills throughout my body.

"This little thing has been driving me crazy all night", he says huskily in my ear his lips touching the side of my face. Impulsively, I kiss him hard; with every bit of sexual tension and wanting I've felt since I saw him.

When we break apart breathing heavily, he asks panting "You want to get out of here?"

In response I grab his hand and we push our way through the crowd and on to the busy London street. As soon as we're outside I push him against the wall, kissing him roughly. When we pull apart, I hear a click of a camera and see a flash of light and realize this will probably all over the tabloids tomorrow.

This time all he asks is "Your place or mine?"

I look at him blankly for a second "Right stupid question" is all he says and he leads me into the apparation ally behind the club. I hold tight to his arm and we disappear with a pop.


	2. What are your intentions?

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter not me

**Please R&R Thanks so much to my two reviewers. **

Confessions of a Potter Princess chap II

I stretched my arms over my head and yawned, awaking after a deep sleep. I blinked open my eyes to find myself in an unfamiliar bedroom. Cool, silky sheets lay atop my bare skin. Wait- bare skin where the hell was I! I turned my head to see a yellow rose on the pillow next to mine as well as a note. I picked up the note it read

_ Hey Princess had to take off for practice I'd like to take you for dinner around seven. I'll pick you up._

I smiled suddenly remembering the previous night. I got out of bed and stepped onto the plush white carpet. I padded across the floor noticing that my dress and heels were still strewn across the room. I opened a door into what I assumed might be the bathroom. It was. I stepped into the bathroom and prepared a bath.

After my bath I put on a large, fluffy robe I found hanging on a rack behind the door. I stepped back out into the bedroom and was startled suddenly by a high squeaky noise.

"Miss, Charlotte Potter, miss", the voice shrilled.

I turned in the direction of the noise, not seeing anything.

"Down here Miss Potter"

I looked down to see a small house-elf, female by the look of it, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Hello miss, my name is Mitzi; I'm Mr. Rainier's personal house-elf"

"Hello, you obviously know who I am, please just call me Charlotte"

"Yes, Mr. Rainier tell me all about you while I made him breakfast Ms. Charlotte, He was looking very happy this morning. I don't see him look that happy around nobody but Svetlana"

I smiled but the last part troubled me. Who was Svetlana? I asked, but all Mitzi said was that she was Rainier's best friend from back home.

I glanced at the clock on the bedside table, I declined breakfast and hurriedly changed back into my dress and shoes from the previous night and stole a long-sleeved cashmere sweater from Rainier's closet to put on over.

I flooed home into the living room of Potter Manor hoping against hope that neither Mum nor Dad were still home. Maybe if I could just sneak up to my room, they wouldn't notice I was gone all night. Or maybe I could sneak down to the laundry room, and just change fast so they wouldn't know what I was doing. Or maybe-

"So, Rainier Malfoy" I heard my mum's voice say accusingly, yet with a touch of amusement in her voice. I turned towards her voice and saw her sitting at the little mahogany table drinking her morning tea and reading the newspaper by the windowed wall that overlooked the main gardens. She was sitting there in a perfectly tailored powdered blue suit, radiating an amazing easy elegance. She looked like she was trying to decide between laughing and giving me a good scolding.

I looked at her quizzically for a minute before she held up the paper. There it was front page news. A picture of Rainier and me with me repeatedly pushing him up against the wall and kissing him intensely. I looked at the headline and groaned **Potter Princess Passionate over Malfoy Heir.**

"Well, I do hope he's okay for practice this morning, you were a bit –forceful. So I think we should invite him over dinner soon Tuesday perhaps. I know there isn't any quidditch then. And I would say tomorrow but Harry will be in Berlin for a promotional appearance. Oh, I do hope your father left without seeing the paper this morning. Otherwise the poor boy is in for a rough first practice. He is quite cute. Now I must be off I have a meeting to attend with the board members of the Hags for Healthcare foundation. They can be quite nasty if they're kept waiting. So, dinner Tuesday and be on your best behavior."

And she left, just like that, she didn't ask for an explanation she just left. This puzzled me greatly; I could only Dad would respond half as well. Thank god they have their own socialites in Germany.

**Tuesday**

"Lluvy could you please press my white APC jersey dress and have my lavender ballet flats polished, I asked.

"Certainly, Miss Charlotte, anything else?", asked Lluvy my personal house-elf since I was a baby.

"No, that's all thanks Lluvy"

I looked around my walk-in-closet at the mess I had made. There were probably thirty different outfits littering the plush white carpeted floors. Damn! I only had an hour to get ready. I was incredibly nervous about dinner tonight. I mean Rainier and I had only been on two dates and already he had to meet the parents. Granted, he had already met my father, but my brother Cal always said that Dad was Coach on the pitch and Dad off the pitch which basically meant that while Rainier was a star chaser on the pitch he was merely the boy-his-daughter-was-dating off the pitch. Rainier said that Monday's practice was just like normal. The only indication that Dad had made to him regarding the fact that he was sleeping with his daughter was whether or not he wanted to go with Dad and Cal for lunch after Sunday's practice. I took this as a good sign.

The most nerve-wracking thing about tonight's dinner was that it was only going to be Mom, Dad, Rainier and me. Cal, Max and Jude had long since moved out, but it was Dane and Tierney' absences that most distressed me. At least they would provide some distraction from what was sure to be an incredibly awkward meal. I mean really what would be talk about. All of the general small talk questions and topics have been covered already. Think about that conversation:

"What do you do for a living?"

"I work for you as a quidditch player on your team."

"Can you provide for her?"

"Well, yeah I signed a multi-million galleon deal with your team"

"So, how about your family?"

"Well you hated my Dad in school, but ever since the Second War you guys are civil and what not, but you already knew that."

I mean really that whole scenario is just ridiculous. The only question that could pose some problems: What are your intentions with my daughter?

See we haven't had a lot of time to discuss intentions and what not. We were too busy shagging. Besides, we've only known each other since Saturday, how are we supposed to decide anything after like four days.

**Later**

_ Ding Dong_

"I'll get it", I yelled.

I had been sitting on the chaise in the entrance hall since six. Rainier arrived just on time at 6:30. I wanted to insure that I was going to be the one to answer the door. I raced across the marble floors sliding as I stopped in front of the intricately carved mahogany door. I wanted to make sure I answered it before any of the house elves got to it first.

"Rainier hi", I said panting just a little. He laughed and kissed me soundly on the mouth. I stepped back to let him in.

"How are you? You look fantastic", he said. It was this sort of thing. The fact that he could say fantastic without so much as an embarrassed smile or blush is why I loved about him. Or well, you know, liked him a lot.

We made our way into living room where I just happened to see my father conversing with somebody over the floo and my mother reading a magazine. When she heard our footsteps she immediately looked up and stood to greet us.

"Hi, you must be Rainier I'm Ginny it's great to finally meet you", she said smiling.

"And you Mrs. Potter, I've heard much about you from Charlotte and I can certainly see where she gets her beauty", Rainier said charmingly, kissing her on the hand. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as my mother giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Hey, hands off my wife Malfoy", my dad boomed from near the fireplace. "You know I feel like I've said that to your father once before", he joked.

"It's good to see you again sir", Rainier said shaking Dad's hand.

"You too, How is your father by the way it's been too long since we've last talked", Dad said.

We moved to the dining room for dinner and sat down. As we settled into the meal, the conversation flowed naturally enough. We even made it to the bread pudding dessert before the topic our relationship came up.

"So, the two of you met at Maxim's new club, right? That's what Caliber said anyway, in fact, he takes all the credit by saying that he introduced you two." Mom interjected curiously.

"Yes, that's correct" Rainier answered a little unsure of where the conversation was going.

"So just like that then, huh, wow we must thank Cal, because based on the picture I saw in the Prophet you Rainier must have made one hell of a first impression. I don't know how I feel though about having my star chaser practically tackled by my petite seventeen year old daughter", Dad said. I felt the heat rise up in my pale cheeks as he said that and gave my dad a look. That was one little thing I was never going to live down.

Rainier laughed a little unsteadily as Dad said this and I couldn't blame him that was an unsettling comment. Then Dad dropped the ultimate bomb.

"So, other than being passionately attacked outside nightclubs what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Well I uh- um I guess," he looked at me nervously I smiled what I hope was a serene smile and he relaxed, "I guess that I just want to spend as much time as possible with her, get to know her, fall in love-maybe you know"

Dad smiled and turned to look at Mum all he said was "Yeah, I know"

**I'll review yours if you review mine**


	3. New Opportunities and Old Friends

Disclaimer: I don't own it

Please R&R Special thanks to my three reviewers

Confessions of a Potter Princess III

**6 Months Later**

I wake up in 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets to the sound of a shower. I looked at the clock 4:30 AM. I'm a little disoriented but then realize I'm in my new flat. I had moved out of Potter Manor and found a flat with Rainier 2 weeks ago, but I still wasn't used to it.

Rainier and I had of course fallen in love though now that I was living with him, my mother was just waiting for us to announce our engagement. I then reminded her that I was only seventeen. She wasn't married till she was nineteen so I don't understand what the rush is. Besides I don't even think I want to get married, like ever. I told Mum that the day I get engaged is the day Maxim and Delilah finally tie the knot.

She looked at me very seriously then and said, "But princess you'll probably be in your twenties by then. Nobody will want to marry you; I mean that's so _old_. Honestly, darling Tierney will marry before you"

Forget the fact that Tierney is seven. Although, I could already see the seeds of a future romance forming between her and Holden Wood, Dad's friend Oliver's son. They were in school together at Aunt Hermione's Magical Minors Academy.

I turned over and tried to get back to sleep. An hour later, Rainier kissed me awake. "Bye Princess I have to get going for that game in Italy"

"Already it's only 5:30", I replied groaning.

"Yeah, but we leave at 8:30."

"Darling, that's forever away"

"Well I think your father is going to sneak in a little practice. Now go back to sleep Princess we had a long night", he said winking. I used to despise guys who wink, but I swear he raises the gesture to an art form.

Later that day I'm in class at London's Malkin's School of Wizarding Design. I'm studying fashion in hopes of becoming the first truly successful couturier that combines high fashion with wizardwear. It is really because of Rainier that I was in these classes at all. I had always loved muggle fashion, but knew that I wanted to work within the wizarding community. It was Rainier who helped me figure out exactly what I wanted.

A lot of things happened because of Rainier; more really than I'd like to admit. I don't know what it is but I'm just stuck on him. I was reluctant at first, but I couldn't deny the sweaty palms and heart racing that seemed to occur every time he walked in the room. I'm even going to be spending Christmas with his family in Transylvania.

Jamison Halliwell, my table partner, nudged my arm so we could get started on our project for today. Our mission was to take a plain set of wizarding robes and using only what material we have create a muggle cocktail dress. Class ended and we submitted our projects. I gathered my things to leave.

"Ms. Potter, Mr. Halliwell stay for just a minute please", said Ms. Appleton, the tailoring Professor. Sighing and eager to get home I followed Jamison up to Ms. Appleton's desk.

"Now Ms. Potter, Mr. Halliwell I've recently received a letter from the coordinators of London Fashion Week. They said that this year they would like to show more up-and-coming designers to open the big shows like Burberry or Ben Sherman. The two of you have shown an amazing aptitude for design. If you are interested, the sketches must be in by Dec. 7th. Please realize that gives you only one week. The show will be for the Spring/Summer season so keep that in mind. After that you will each have an opportunity to direct your own show. If the show is well received, this could be the beginning of your careers. The shows will be attended by rock royalty, actors, actresses, supermodels and many other dignitaries. Here are the applications and some information packets." She said while handing both Jamison and me thick envelopes.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean this is my shot. I thanked Ms. Appleton profusely and walked out of the classroom in a daze. As I make my way down the halls to the front doors of the building, my mind is racing with ideas and designs.

Jamison, who I had forgotten about said, "This is un-fucking-believable."

"My thoughts exactly", I replied while he opened the door and we exited the building. We stopped and looked at each other on the front steps of the school. I shrieked and jumped into his arms ecstatic at what this could mean. We were still hugging when I heard

"Hey Princess"

I turned towards the voice and shrieked again. It was Colton Lupin, my other best friend leaning against that crazy vintage car of his. I dashed down the steps to meet him hugging him with such force I almost knocked him over.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here!" I exclaimed.

"I just got back into town and I wanted to surprise you", he said grinning.

"How did you know I was here? It's been a while since our last letters"

"I went to see Delilah first, and she told me where to find you."

"Well, how long are you going to be in town for this time?" I asked.

"Through the first week of January, so about a month and a half, then I'm going back to Paris. But anyway is that Rainier? ", he asked gesturing to Jamison who was talking with some people behind me.

"What, Oh no, that's Jamison Halliwell a guy in my class, speaking of which, your never going to believe this." I said still over excited, and I told him of the amazing opportunity.

"That's just wow, I mean that's fantastic" he said when I was finished.

I couldn't believe my luck. I could've cried I was so happy. Colton was back, I was going to rock the Spring/Summer fashion show, and Rainier was coming back from Italy early tomorrow afternoon.

"So it seems you've been busy in my absence.", he said as we got into the car and drove away, "Fashion school, a new rather dare I say it committed relationship, moving out of the Manor, and not to mention front page tabloid coverage every other day."

"Oh can you believe it! I'm getting absolutely everything I've always wanted."

"I always knew you would" he said squeezing my knee affectionately.

"It was Rainier who really pushed me to do all this"

"Which reminds me, when do I get to meet the famous Rainier Malfoy?" he said smilingly slyly.

"Oh no not you too. He's already gotten the "talk" from Cal, Max and Jude. They even tried to get Dane to contribute. But I have the most fabulous idea. Why don't you and whoever it is that you're dating these days. I never can keep up. Hey-Ow! ", I exclaimed as he hit me when I said this, "anyway why don't we meet for dinner tomorrow when he gets back from Italy"

"Sounds great. I'll let Sophie, who I've already told you about by the way, know. Meanwhile, I've told Delilah we would get together after I picked you up."

About half an hour later, Colton parked his car at his hotel and we flooed to Hogsmeade to meet Delilah for lunch at the Three Broomstick. The three of us talked about old times and reminisced on our Hogwarts days. Delilah and I told Colton about who had married who, was dating who, was pregnant, who already had kids and what not. We talked about what Colton had missed during our last two years of Hogwarts, as he had graduated our fifth year.

Colton had moved to Paris right after his graduation to pursue a career as a wizarding lawyer where he had been offered a position in a prestigious firm. Every now and then I heard about him in the paper or over the wireless in the news about some great case he had settled.

As children, we were the best of friends. He is the son of family friends Remus and Nymphadora "Tonks" Lupin. Delilah's brother Sebastian is the same age as Colton. The four of us had been super close as kids and throughout Hogwarts. Then they both graduated and Sebastian eloped with some Spanish witch, whose father had forbidden the union and Colton went off to France. I had only seen him during Christmas holidays since then. I was worried at first that I wouldn't see him at all this year because I would be in Transylvania with Rainier.

"So, Dee, you and Maxim still going strong?" Colton asked during lunch.

"Yeah, of course now all I need is to get him to propose". She said exasperated

"Amazing how so much of your life is dependent upon a single band of metal and old charcoal", I replied frustrated with the whole ordeal as well.

"How could I possibly end up with such bitter, cynics as friends" Delilah said.

"Because darling if we were all sick in love, we would all be as unhappy as you", Colton interjected," Anyway, I think we're just about losing Charlotte here to the dark side."

"What are you talking about, I'm with a guy for more than a month and all of a sudden I'm on my way down the aisle, um no, I don't think so."

"Ah, touched a nerve I see. Let me guess Aunt Ginny has been on your case too", Colton said knowingly with an annoying little grin on his face.

"Yes, as a matter of fact she has, and I told her I wouldn't even consider it until Maxim and Delilah finally get hitched, which I'm assuming won't happen for a very long time."

"Hey!" said Delilah throwing some lettuce from her salad at me, "Besides, it isn't that big of a change, I mean she did shag him about oh I don't know two hours after meeting him." This time it was my turn to throw some of the chips off my plate at her.

"Well, Char, you are what, eighteen in two months. Merlin! You're practically an old maid", said Colton, "And you, Delilah, well I put my gold on a nice July wedding at a classy retirement home. The heat will be better on our elderly joints."

"What the Hell!" He said loudly as we both threw some of our food at him.

**The Next Day**

As we approached Burner, a London restaurant of Maxim's; Rainier and I met up with Colton and Sophie. Colton hugged me tightly and I laughed and kissed each of his cheeks. It was so good to have him back in England.

I had briefed Rainier ahead of time on Colton and mine's history. Funnily enough the first thing he asked when I told him about meeting a good friend of mine for dinner and mentioned that Colton happened to be a he was: Did you ever date him?

That question came up a lot regarding our relationship oddly enough. Not so much with Delilah because she had been dating Maxim forever, but with me everyone always assumed we were a couple. People just didn't understand that it would be similar to dating one of my brothers. I know beyond disturbing.

We were seated for dinner right away, when I mentioned my name even though there was a thirty minute waiting list. Rainier was tenser than I had ever seen him throughout the whole thing, though he seemed to get on well enough with Colton. It was important to me that they were at least friendly. These were after all the two most important men in my life.

Sophie was much like most of Colton's girlfriends; vaguely interesting very vapid and drop-dead gorgeous. They met apparently through one of Colton's clients. This basically meant she was some rich real estate tycoon's nanny/whore before Colton swept her off her feet with his dazzling smile, charming wit and sizable paycheck.

This wasn't unexpected, but I always think he can do so much better. Sure he has some commitment issues just like me, but he's a handsome, wealthy, intelligent gentleman. He should be setting his standards higher than someone who asks for diet water.

"So Charlotte tells me you play for Uncle Harry", Colton said nonchalantly halfway through the main course.

"Yeah, I was signed just this past winter when he saw me at the international training camp, my first time invited to the camp too", Rainier replied a bit of cockiness in his voice that usually wasn't there.

"You must be pretty damn good then for Uncle Harry to sign you so quickly. I really should follow quidditch more closely. Especially now that the new star of the home team is dating my favorite girl", said Colton raising his wine glass in my direction.

I smiled and laughed at this. Sophie just gave me a dirty look.

"There's a game here this Friday right, darling?" I said.

"Yeah, against Norway who's looking pretty tough this year it should be an exciting game."

"Well, I'll just have to look into it then. So do you play for a local club as well or just on the international level," asked Colton.

"I used to play for the Moscow Czars but quit to train for England here. What about you Charlotte didn't say what you did only that you lived in Paris. Do you have even have a job?" Rainier answered rudely.

I shot him the famous glare of the Weasley women as he said this. I didn't understand why Rainier was being so defensive and cold. He had been making weird comments like this all night. I knew he saw my look but he didn't meet my gaze.

Thankfully Colton just casually laughed it off and replied "Yeah I'm a lawyer at the Sauvignon International Law Firm, actually settled a case between Nimbus and Firebolt brooms recently. You probably know about the dispute: Nimbus suing Firebolt claiming they used copyrighted Nimbus designs in their construction of that new Lightningbolt. "

"Right, I heard mention of it a time or two" grumbled Rainier.

I knew this was a lie though; the International Quidditch Federation was in major disarray because of it. All Firebolt sponsored quidditch clubs lost their equipment while the law suit was being settled. It was a huge conflict. I remember Dad going crazy because it was right before the drafting for the international teams was set to start and England was broom-less.

After that, the mood of the table was very tense. We each skipped dessert to speed up the meal (though Sophie who had been blissfully ignorant only really wanted to skip because it would make her fat) and went our separate ways. I promised Colton I would see to it that we all get tickets for Friday's quidditch game and hugged him goodbye. I didn't speak to Rainier at all until we were climbing into bed.

"What the hell is your problem?" I demanded angrily.

"What are you talking about?" he asked just as sharply.

"Colton was just trying to get to know you better all night and all you did was make some smart comment and jump down his throat!"

"Me-HA! He wasn't trying to get to know me better he was judging me the whole time. Trust me I know the difference."

"He's my best friend, has been since forever. I can't believe you so blatantly disrespected him like that!"

"He was all over you. How could he just blatantly disrespect me your boyfriend by touching you like that!"

"That's insane he's like my fucking brother for Merlin's sake!"

"Who are you trying to kid sweetheart, I'm a guy and I know he was sure as hell not showing you brotherly affection!"

"Oh fuck off Rainier your just jealous that's all"

"Your fucking right I'm jealous, what do you think it's like for me huh. I see you and him and how close you guys are. With the Uncle Harry crap and the kissing and hugging. I'm not stupid Charlotte. I know I'm the one more in love here. But Dammit! Do you have to make it so fucking hard! At this point I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted too. And I sure as hell can't stand the thought of you leaving me." He finished the last part in a near whisper.

All I could do was stare. After what seemed an eternity I blinked and felt a tear I didn't now I was holding trickle down my face. I stepped forward and without saying a word reached my hand up to his face, so wrought with emotion, and placed my lips upon his. I kissed him with more tenderness and love than I thought I could feel.

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	4. Rumors

Disaclaimer: I don't own it

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Confessions of a Potter Princess IV

"Names please" said the check-in guy at the entrance to the Carnaby street studio where the preparation for London Fashion Week would take place.

"Jamison Halliwell and Charlotte Potter", answered Jamison.

"Ok thank you, please make your way down the hall into the main studio. The orientation meeting is just about to start."

Jamison and I hurried down to the main studio where there were six other people all sitting and chatting casually. I figured these were the other students selected from the other design schools. We found seats and waited, too nervous to talk, for the meeting to begin.

"Good morning everyone" said the chipper but stern voice of a tall, slim distinguished looking man, "My name is Gates Canning I will be the advisor for your work on London Fashion Week. I am the assistant coordinator of the event and creative director for Balenciaga. For the next two weeks you are going to be choreographing the models, selecting the soundtrack and picking a lighting scheme for your show, on top of making your collection come to life. Now, by the look on your faces I can tell the mere thought is overwhelming, but not to worry, each of you will have a small team of assistants to help you just like each of the big designers. Remember, a show only lasts ten to fifteen minutes. That's ten or fifteen minutes to make it or break it in this industry. And even if your mind-blowing this season, and invited back for the next, you must be just as fabulous then. Each stitch of thread, each swatch of fabric determines whether you become a fashion icon or a fad. The fashion world is cutthroat and fast-paced; you better believe it when I say this is probably the only shot you're going to get. You eight were chosen because your professors believed you have what it takes to create your own fashion empire. Each of you shows the aptitude to become your own design house that will last not for five or ten seasons but for fifty or sixty years or more. You will become the next Chanel or Chloe; that will be your name."

I was going out of my mind as I listened to his speech. This was intense and exciting and amazing and frightening and a million other things. This is the only chance I'll get. I can do this. I can be mind-blowing and innovative. I couldn't wait to get started.

**Later**

I arrived home about 3:00 absolutely exhausted. This fashion thing was a lot harder than it sounded. Today I had worked for four hours just trying to come up with how I wanted the runway to look. Tomorrow I have to decide the order in which I want the outfits to come down the runway. Apparently there was a certain science to that I had yet to learn. I also had to get started on actually creating the designs. The fabrics and materials had all been bought already, thank god, but I still needed to oversee the construction of the clothes by my assistants. Wednesday I was to meet with a DJ to select the music, which it turns out sets the mood for the show entirely. I was going absolutely insane, but at the same time I had never been happier.

Suddenly I heard a peck on the window. I made my way over to the window and let the owl in. I recognized the elegantly embossed parchment as Rainier's and sprawled on our bed to read it.

_Hey Princess just finished the game against Latvia. We won again. I thought of you the whole time. You must be my good luck charm. I miss you so much; I can't wait to get back to England. I hope your first day at that Fashion Week thing was fun. I'll be back from touring the 20th. Just eight more days away. Your father and Cal say hi. With all the love in my heart, Rainier _

I smiled at his words. He tried so hard to be romantic. Our relationship had changed a lot since that dinner with Colton. It's been a week and a half and already I felt more in love with him. We had spent more time knowing each other now.Our relationship had gone to the next level physically and emotionally. I said I love you as if I had never been surer of anything in my life. When we made love it was different. He ran his rough calloused hands over my silky skin and kissed tenderly each bit of me with his eyes closed, as though trying to memorize me. He knew all of me.

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"Charlotte! Charlotte, are you here!" a voice called out waking me from my nap four hours later.

"Maybe she already went out"

"Nah her Fendi is on the table she never goes anywhere without her Fendi."

"What is it with women and purses?"

"Are you kidding me? Her whole life is in that bag"

"It's just a purse"

"It is not it's-"

"Should've known it would be you two", I interrupted as I walked into the living room where Delilah and Colton were arguing.

"Hey so there's sleeping beauty, come on get dressed Delilah and Maxim got into another fight and we need to cheer her up", Colton said upon seeing my sleepy appearance.

"I swear I'm going to castrate that fucker!" Dee said obviously still angry.

"Ok, ok let me just change and we'll go.Merlin knows I could use a stiff drink right about now", I said in response.

I slipped on a pleated black mini skirt and a silver silk halter top with a pair of silver leather ankle boots. I grabbed my favorite black coat and swiped on a bit of glittery black eyeliner and a touch of red-tinted lip-gloss. It had been a while since I had gone out; Rainier was more of a homebody than I originally thought. When we did go out he usually sat with my brothers or friends while I danced the night away.

"Ok let's get out of here"

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When we arrived at Glitterati, another Lee Jordan-Maxim Potter club, we walked right up to the front doors. The bouncer recognized Delilah and I and let the three of us in right away. We got inside and headed straight for the bar. Double Grey Goose Martini Dirty was my drink tonight. Colton, Dee and I danced with each other and others as the night went on. Eventually Maxim showed up and took Dee away apologizing for whatever happened this time and they went off to have make-up sex.

Around 1 in the morning, Colton and I decided to leave. As soon as we stepped out of the club the paparazzi stormed.

"Charlotte, who is this mystery guy" Flash of a Camera

"Charlotte, where's Rainier" Another flash

"Charlotte, does this mean it's over for you and Malfoy" flash

"Charlotte" flash.

Colton grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd of photographers.

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The next morning as I pay for the mail the first thing I see on the cover of Witch Weekly is a picture of Colton and me; he's holding my hand and the headline says: **Trouble for Rainier and Charlotte: Charlotte's New Mystery Man? **

All I can say is FUCK!

The tabloids had been trying to find a way to screw with our relationship for months. When they weren't claiming we were engaged we were apparently fighting and breaking up. Never before had they accused either of us of cheating. This of course had to happen just as Rainier and I were really good and just as I was about to take off for his parents house in ten short days. I was beyond pissed right about now. Rainier and I had agreed that we wouldn't listen to the paparazzi at all, but he was already uncomfortable about my relationship with Colton.

* * *

Later that day, I sat in the living room papers strewn over the coffee table as I tried to decide what the backdrop for the fashion show was going to be.

"Charlotte, are you there?"

I looked up to see Rainier's head in the fireplace. His voice sounded tired. I walked over to the fireplace to talk to him. When I sat down I found I couldn't say anything.

"Charlotte, just tell me one thing, is it true, is any of it true."

His voice seemed exasperated, just completely beyond frustration. It was heartbreaking, almost hopeless.

"No", I said my voice low. "No, please just trust me", I pleaded my head down.

There was a long heavy pause.

"I love you" he said

I looked up finally able to meet his gaze, "I love you too" was all I could say.

Then he was gone.

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	5. Transylvania

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter

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Thanks to all my reviewers.

Confessions of a Potter Princess V

"Charlotte, have you seen my navy coat"

"Already packed"

"What about my black dress shoes"

"In the big Louis Vuitton"

"Good, are you ready to go?"

"Ready when you are"

I sat on the small loveseat in our bedroom as I watched a half-dressed Rainier rush around in a frenzy, so we could leave for his parents' house for Christmas. He had come home from Latvia two days ago. And after settling our issues and whatnot, we delved into endless rounds of make-up sex. We hadn't really been out of bed since, but while he was sleeping yesterday morning I had packed up my things for the trip to Transylvania. He woke up just as I finished my own packing and I told him I would gladly pack for him too, but then he pulled me back into bed and we never really got around to it.

"Ok, you floo first, say Malfoy Estate"

"Uh, Rainier darling are you sure you have everything now"

"Yeah I think so"

"Presents?"

"Yeah"

"Wallet?"

"Yeah"

"Jacket?

"Yup"

"Pants?"

"Yea-oh bugger!"

I watched amused as he hurriedly pulled on the charcoal gray trousers lying on the bed, and slipped his feet into his shoes.

"Ok, now we can go", he said sounding exhausted.

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We flooed into the gatehouse of Malfoy Estate. Just like Potter Manor, it was impossible to apparate or floo directly into the household. Rainier signed his name into the guest registry to announce our arrival and a carriage pulled up to the front of the gatehouse. We stepped into the carriage and the large wrought iron gates opened so that we could drive up the cobblestone pathway to the front doors of the mansion. Malfoy Estate was as large as Potter Manor surrounded by a magnificent snow frosted landscape.

Inside the carriage I nervously toyed with the hem of my black skirt. I was incredibly nervous. I began to chew on my bottom lip and tried to concentrate on the beautiful White Christmas weather outside. It wasn't really helping, but really they were only Rainier's parents, what was the big deal right? It was well-known in both worlds that Harry Potter was the second richest man in Britain and the richest wizard in most of Europe. I was viewed as merely another wild child socialite by the muggle press.

I could have dinner with the Prime Minister, but couldn't meet my boyfriend's parents. I mean I had sat next to muggle royalty at Wimbledon. I had hosted charity events with famous muggle actresses and had been attending fashion shows with my mother for years. I had thrown up vodka tonics with Prince Harry and Jane Waldorf (of the posh American hotel Waldorf-Astoria) for Merlin's sake.

"Charlotte, darling, stop freaking out", said Rainier gently with a touch of amusement in his voice. I laughed uneasily, but other than that made no other response.

Rainier had assured me before we left that his father was going to love me. Draco wasn't what made me nervous though, or even the homicidal Narcissa Malfoy. From what Rainier had told me, she didn't seem to be such as cruel and cold-hearted as she was rumored to be. In fact, I think her and Grandmum Weasley could even have been friends under different circumstances. Besides, I am Harry Potter's daughter. Rather, it was his overprotective, overbearing mother that worried me; a Lady Vestina Christanov-Malfoy. She like all mothers seemed completely into Rainier's business. The poor thing was an only child too!

We stepped out of the carriage and Rainier being the perfect gentleman helped me out. We stood on the steps in front of the heavy carved oak doors.

"How's my hair is it okay, not sticking up anywhere?" I asked apprehensively running my hands through the silky scarlet strands

"You look fine"

"What about my skirt it isn't crooked or anything is it?"

"You look as beautiful as always, darling", he said laughing and kissing each of my cashmere mittened hands. I started to chew on my lip subconsciously and Rainier raised his arm to the door knocker.

"Wait! What about my teeth or my breath does it smell?" I said examining my perfect white teeth in the shiny brass knocker. He laughed again and kissed me firmly but tenderly on the mouth, and I felt my nervousness disappear. He raised the knocker and let it fall with a resounding metallic thump.

I grabbed his hand and he moved to wrap his arms around my narrow waist. The doors opened and a house-elf greeted us.

"Hello Caddy", Rainier said.

The little house-elf jumped around excitedly

"Oh young master Rainier is it really you!" the house-elf squealed.

"Oh Mistress Malfoy, Mistress, the Young Master is here with his beautiful new friend" the house-elf called out taking our coats.

A petite but extraordinarily beautiful woman walked in. She exuded aristocratic sophistication. With long fair hair and deep blue almost amethyst eyes, her beauty was enough to instantly see why Draco Malfoy would abandon everything to be with her.

"Mama!" Rainier exclaimed

"Oh darling, how vas the trip, it is positively freezing outside, I hope it vasn't too deeficult to make ze trip. Your fazzer von't be here tonight, his trip vas delayed because ze weazer in Siberia vas absolutely horrible." She said quickly in a thick Russian accent embracing Rainier tightly as I hung back letting them enjoy this private moment.

"Mama really, we're both perfectly fine. Here I'd like to introduce you to my new girlfriend. Mama, this is Charlotte Potter." He said placing his arm around my shoulder.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Lady Malfoy", I said in my most polite Cotillion trained voice.

"And you, Charlotte", she said though I noticed her tone was a bit sharp and her eyes slightly narrowed," Vell, come on you two, lets get you settled. Charlotte you are to be staying in ze guest voom closest to Rainier's eef you need anyzing do not hesitate to ask. Caddy and Rainier vill show you ze way vhile I let ze house-elfs know dinner iz to be started."

"Come on", Rainier said grabbing my hand. We walked up the grand marble staircase and into the left wing of the house overlooking a frozen lake. This was, I assumed the residential wing. We stopped in front of a pair of dark mahogany doors. Caddy opened the doors to a large, splendorous room with rose-colored carpets and an antique mahogany four poster bed with gold and pink brocade bed dressings. Everything was decorated richly in perfect luxurious Eastern European tradition.

"This is amazing" I said twirling around.

"Ms. Potter, your bags have already been unpacked please let me or one of the other elves know if anything is needed", said Caddy as the little elf prepared a fire in the tall marble fireplace.

"Thanks Caddy" I said lying on the bed. The elf left the room.

"Well my mother seems to like you well enough", Rainier said with a touch of sarcasm while coming over to the bed and lying next to me gently kissing my neck.

"I can't think about your mother if you're going to start that" I said giggling in response.

He rolled on top of me and slipped one hand under my ivory lace top.

"Rainier, we can't we're in your parents' house"

"Like I give a fuck, besides the kitchens are in the east wing of the house." He said while sliding another hand up under my black skirt

"Rainier, what if we're caught" He moved his mouth to caress my décolletage while his hands rubbed over the black lace of my knickers arousing me intensely. I gasped at the touch and rolled over him so I was straddling him on the bed.

"What the hell" I said. He laughed and pinned me under him again.

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**An hour later**

Knock, knock

"Um, just a minute" I called to the door as I jumped out of bed. "Oh, bugger where the hell are the clothes?"

Rainier laughed at me from where he sat in the bed his bottom half covered by the brocade silk quilt.

"Um, Ms. Potter, sorry if I interrupted your nap", a squeaky voice of a house-elf sounded from outside the door, "but Mistress tells me to tell you dinner will be served in ten minutes"

"Oh, Oh- um" I felt two strong arms snake around my waist and lips press light kisses along my collar bones I giggled and tried to stay concentrated on what I was talking about, "Uh, right well…okay thank you"

"I'll go wake Young Master to take you down to the dining room."

"NO!", I exclaimed a little too loudly and a little too quickly "No, its fine I'll make my own way, I'm sure he's awfully tired"

"Oh-ok, then miss"

Once I could no longer hear the footsteps of the house-elf I turned to face Rainier pushing him off of me playfully.

"Go, you have to get out of here!"

"Ok…", he said getting ready to walk out

"Your naked!"

"You have my shirt!" I unbuttoned the shirt and pulled it off and Rainier tried to kiss any bit of me he could.

"Stop! No, wait kiss me again." He placed his lips on mine again and then kissed down my neck while I tried to help him into his shirt and a pair of boxers. "Ok now Go! or we'll never get out of here", I said swatting his arms away from where they were caressing my now bare skin. He kissed me quickly again and pinched my bum before flashing a charming little smile and walking out of the room.

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Dinner seemed to be gong rather well. Pleasant conversation was made and I actually found Narcissa Malfoy or Grandmama as Rainier called her to be quite pleasant. Lady Vestina seemed friendlier after I answered a few questions and was apparently deemed worthy of her approval and decent enough for Rainier. She did however bring up the old, yet never forgotten name of Svetlana in the conversation. She said that this girl was in town to visit her family and was excited to hear that Rainier was back from London. Rainier kind of rolled his eyes at this and stayed silent when his mother pressed the issue further. Eventually Lady Vestina dropped the subject.

After dinner, Rainier gave me the grand tour of the Malfoy Estate. We went up to bed around two and well I just ended up staying his room, though needless to say neither of us got much sleep.

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The next morning I snuck out of Rainier's bed early while he was still sound asleep. I slipped into my room a few doors down the hall and changed into a pair of sweats to make it look as if I hadn't fallen asleep in my previous nights outfit. I yawned and knew I wouldn't be able to function without a nice cup of strong tea to wake me up.

I wandered down the corridor till I reached the main staircase in the entryway connecting the separate wings of the house and then went down to the first floor and finally reached the kitchens. There were a few house-elves running about getting ready to prepare breakfast and I enquired about a cup of tea. A fresh pot of tea was served to me and I filled a cup then walked into the adjacent sunny morning room and sat down on the window seat in the large bay window overlooking the snowy gardens.

"Well, good morning" a deep voice said

I jumped and dropped my tea at the voice, the porcelain cup shattered.

"_Reparo_-I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you," the voice said again laughing his time while fixing the broken teacup.

Thoroughly embarrassed and blushing I turned to see a man, that could only have been Rainer's father, Draco sitting at a small wooden table drinking tea and reading a newspaper called The Transylvanian Script. A carbon copy of Rainier exactly, except for the fact that Rainier had shaggy golden blond hair rather than the sleek platinum locks his father sported.

I got up from the window seat and picked up the now fixed teacup from the floor. I walked over to the table and extended my hand in greeting.

"Thank you, you must be Mr. Malfoy. It's nice to meet you I'm-

"-the famous Charlotte Weasley-Potter, yes I know. You're a dead ringer for your mum you know. Except for your eyes, you definitely have the Potter eyes. Though on you I must say they are most attractive. On your father they always seemed a bit like, well-and I'm sure you've heard this expression before-a fresh pickled toad which is most unfortunate I must say because toads are not attractive creatures in the least." He said while taking my hand and gesturing for me to have a seat at the table.

I laughed at his words and found that he was much more amicable than his wife.

"So tell me-how are your parents by the way?"

"They're quite well. My dad told me to tell you that you must come out to see one of the quidditch games; especially if England goes to the World Cup."

'I wouldn't miss it for anything. How about your mother, is she still doing the charity thing?"

"Yes, she's still running Dumbledore's Hearts of Gold; they're just about ready to open a new wizarding hospital, in Scotland I believe. She's also busy organizing some ball for a muggle charity as well." I said.

"Ginny has really turned into quite the society hostess, hard to believe, but it seems to suit her perfectly as well. She always did have a strong desire to help out those less fortunate."

"Now, Vestina also tells me you've had the pleasure of meeting her. I wouldn't worry too much if she seemed a bit hostile. She always is towards Rainier's girlfriends. Probably more towards you since it seems you two are pretty serious. You have to understand that as her only child, he is her little baby always and forever. I know I suffered the same under my mother; actually still do."

I laughed again at this and took a little comfort in the fact that it wasn't me so much as it was that Rainier was in a relationship. I liked Draco, which is what he told me to call him. I yawned not realizing how tired I still was.

"You might want to go back to bed, breakfast won't be served till nine and it's only seven. Don't understand how you got up so early considering you probably got next to no sleep last night" he said smirking

I blushed at being caught. "How-how did you know?"

"Oh you know the hair, looks exactly like Vestina's after a night of- well you know, plus your clothes don't exactly look slept in." he said laughing at my horrified facial expression.

"Well, thanks I guess I'll see you at breakfast this morning then", I said getting up from my chair and walking back toward the kitchen taking my teacup and placing it in the kitchen sink.

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	6. Happy Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own it

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Confessions of a Potter Princess VI

Its Christmas my absolute favorite holiday; I loved snow and nutcrackers and winter clothes and holiday meals and ornaments and tinsel and everything to do with Christmas. I nudge Rainier awake next to me. When that doesn't work I kiss each of his eyelids. He's soon awake.

"Happy Christmas" I whisper into his ear. I grab his arm and drag him out of bed. Quite a feat considering he's like 6'4". I push open the glass doors that lead out onto the balcony connecting to his room.

"Bloody hell it's freezing out here", he says shivering in his pajama bottoms.

I laugh "But come on don't you love it, isn't it magical. It's snowing!" I say as I dance around him twirling in the falling snow dressed in only a thin white t-shirt and black lacy panties.

He looks at me amused and shivering, "you look like a deranged snow angel" he says softly.

I run into his arms and hit him playfully. He places his hand on my face gently caressing my now rosy cheeks I look into his blue grey eyes and he bends down to kiss my pouty wind-chapped lips. I can't help but think this the most romantic moment of my life.

I love spontaneous romance. That's the only true romance there is I think. I mean I've had romantic gestures made to me before but they don't seem as sincere when they're all planned out. That's why I don't really like Valentine's Day. When you can be romantic just because it's Wednesday or just because you get caught up in the moment then it's truly the best feeling in the world.

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That night everyone: Draco, Vestina, Narcissa, Rainier and I all sat in the opulent living room opening gifts. All of the packages from my family had arrived early that morning. The only present I hadn't yet opened was the one from Rainier. When he handed me the small silver box my heart pounded in apprehension. I had given him a gold framed clipping of the Daily Prophet picture from the night we met and two tickets to a Gracious Banshees concert courtesy of my brother Jude.

I undid the burgundy ribbon on the silver box and carefully unfolded the delicate tissue paper. I gasped when I saw that inside it was an antique looking gold necklace with princess cut diamonds dangling off the strand and smaller pink diamonds set in between the dangling diamonds. As an antique I'm sure it must have been priceless.

I looked up at Rainier speechless but it was Narcissa who spoke. "It was my mother's" she said "A Black family heirloom". I looked at her as she continued to speak. "I know it might be hypocritical considering how horrible my mother was but I owe it to you and your family. Please be sure to tell your father, I know he'll appreciate it." I nodded and got up to hug her. "I gave it to Rainier when he came of age and told him to give it to his first love, it's really very ironic how it turned out to be you", she said softly.

I got up to kiss Rainier when I noticed his mother staring at me with a strange expression that I couldn't read.

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Everyone was soon tired and we all started to make our way to bed.

"Rainier, darling I've vould like a quick vord", said Vestina

"You go ahead" he said to me and I started up the stairs.

It wasn't till I was heading down the hall that I realized I forgot the necklace I had been wearing before Rainier put on my new one in the living room. I turned back and was heading down the stairs when I stopped on the middle landing trying to remain as quiet as possible upon hearing my name come up in Rainier and his mother's rather loud conversation.

"Yes, okay I get eet you love her now but she iz not going to marry you"

"Who said anything about marriage, besides you don't know that"

"I see ze way you look at her, you vant to marry her I know eet."

"Of course I do mother she's amazing and yes I was planning on proposing soon but-"

"But vhat, she von't do it. That iz vhy isn't eet. You deserve better anyway."

"Like Svetlana, mother"

"Yes, she can give you everyzing and she adores you. She vould make a vonderful muzzer and you did have something together before you left."

"We were friends that is all, I hated all of the rumors about a relationship"

"But vhat does Charlotte have to offer you, vhat do you have to offer her? She alveady has everything and she's still young. She'll be bored eventually and she'll break your heart. I know her reputation and you need a commitment!"

"You barely know her!"

"But I know her vell enough. Do not zink me so naïve about your relationship. Svetlana vas perfect for you. She vas everyzing you need. She still vaits for you why you'll having a fling wiz zis Briteesh princess!"

I had heard enough. I dashed back up the stairs not caring if my footsteps made noise, my silky black dress and red hair flying out behind me I pushed through the French doors at the back of the upper landing that lead onto the vast second floor veranda. I grabbed onto the balustrade and looked across at the never ending snowy scenery.

What was I doing here? Was Vestina right, will I never be able to commit? Most of all did Rainier really want to marry me?

I heard footsteps in the distance. "Charlotte! Charlotte!" I whirled around and saw Rainier walking towards me. The blustery weather blew my dress up around my knees and whipped my hair in my face but I was oblivious to the cold. I bit my lip as he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me too him. Could I really be in these arms for the rest of my life? A part of me already knew the answer to that question. He kissed the back of my neck.

"I love you" he whispered into my skin. I turned to look at him.

"I love you too", I said

"So how much of that little exchange did you hear?" he said softly

"More than I wanted too" I said

"I love you so much and I won't let anyone let you think different" he said his eyes dark and serious our foreheads touching.

"Do you swear?" I said

"I swear, I'll swear by anything. I'll swear by the moon."

I turned so my back was against his chest and he stood hugging me from behind.

"Don't swear by the moon," I said "it's always changing. Don't swear by the moon when we have the stars!" He laughed at me as I twirled out of his arms. It didn't matter right then to me about the future. I'm a spur-of-the-moment kind of girl anyway.

"So, do you want to dance?" I said smiling. He laughed and took my hand. And we stood on the veranda dancing in the snow, whirling under the stars.

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	7. Show me your model face

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter

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**Confessions of a Potter Princess VII**

**Late January**

I could see the shadows of the lights dancing on the white curtain. Music blared through the speakers and the crowd tittered with conversation and anticipation. The tent is too hot, the lights too bright, the runway too slick, the makeup too garish, the hair too simple.

My heart pounds inside my chest and I can't talk. Every bit of poise and composure that had been instilled in me since birth is gone. My skinny arms are shaking and I'm completely terrified.

I dash to the bathroom as the five minutes till show time is announced by the director backstage. I push open the beige stall door and hurl into the porcelain toilet.

I can do this

I wash out my mouth in the shiny white sink and look at my reflection in the mirror. Yup, absolutely horrified

I can do this

I look down my hands gripping the sides of the sink and I breathe slowly in and out and subconsciously bite my lip. I shake off my nerves and look at my reflection again. This time I see a girl who knows what she's here for.

And I do, I'm about to put on a mind-blowing fashion show. I earned this, this was all my doing. This is something I created and wanted. I earned a spot on the coveted Friday of fashion week and the opening of the most highly revered design house in London, Burberry. Carlisle Rhodes had picked me out of all the other fashion novices to open his show. I push open the door of the women's bathroom and walk swiftly and surely through the tanned, gorgeous tangle of limbs and exquisite chiffon frocks.

"O.k. girls line it up its show time!" calls Rufus the director

"Charlotte come on!" Rufus calls to me.

I stand ready at the runway entrance to check the models. The lights focus toward the runway and the music changes tracks.

"Ok Lana Go!" I say after smoothing out a crease in the back of the blue sundress.

Lana Taylor, the American up-and-coming supermodel strutted down the runway. After a quick once-over each of the other models sashayed across the catwalk. Each piece swayed perfectly and I had never been as exhilarated as I felt now, seeing my creations float on down the runway, watching the faces of the spectators, and the flash of the cameras capturing this very moment.

Then came the finale. A stunning black chiffon ball gown, strapless with hand sewn detailing and small freshwater pearls across the bodice, the dress had required 157 hours of labor by my assistant tailors and I. I felt lighter than air when the gown received a standing ovation. I had attended enough shows with my mother to know that was truly the sign of a fabulous fashion show.

I walk out onto the runway at the end of the show as is customary and wave to my family and Rainier sitting in the front row. I notice several supermodels, royals, rockstars and actors and actresses as well as fashion editors and notable photographers in the crowd.

I laugh and grin uncontrollably as the spotlight turns on me and cameras flash continuously. I relish in the attention and crowd for just a bit more, then turn and walk backstage where the models are already changing for the Burberry show. Everyone applauds when they see me and as I step out of the tent into the frosty Westminster Park, I'm swarmed by photographers and reporters.

I was used to this considering I couldn't really go anywhere in the Wizarding world without being followed these days. But for once, these people didn't care that I am Harry Potter's daughter, they didn't care that I am dating quidditch superstar Rainier Malfoy, or that I am the sister of Caliber the quidditch playboy, Maxim the party animal and Jude the up-and-coming rockstar.

No, I had put on a stellar fashion show and these people were form Vogue, Elle, W and the Style network and countless other fashion medias. They cared about what I did out there, what my inspiration was, who my muse was. I was in the midst of answering questions and posing for pictures backstage, when I heard my name being called.

Charlotte, Charlotte!

Excuse me for one moment" I said to the reporters

It was Rufus. "Oh thanks god your still here! One of our models just had a horrid allergic reaction to something in the makeup while changing for the show. We need a fill-in!", he said all the while dragging me through the backstage.

"What do want me to do about it!" I said trying to tug my now throbbing arm which felt like it was about to fall off from his clenching grasp.

" Carlisle told me to find you! He needs you to model!

"WHAT! I don't know how to do this!"

"You'll be good just put on your model face"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A MODEL FACE! Are you insane! Is he insane!"

"I prefer the term creative genius!" came the commanding voice of the illustrious Carlisle Rhodes, "Now come along we only have ten minutes!" he said sharply pushing me into a leather swivel chair in front of a makeup station. FRANCESCA! MALIN! He called out over the crazy fabric strewn room.

Two women laden with blowdryers, brushes, eyeshadow palettes, and tubes of lipstick literally attacked me. Immediately Malin pulled and combed and jabbed my long red locks with sharp pins I cried out in pain but was admonished by Francesca who was trying to smear my lips with pink gloss.

It was over as soon as it started thank god, and Carlisle smothered me in a mess of fabric which turned out to be a short lovely ladylike tweed dress. He made a few adjustments and before I know it I'm pushed into line behind a bunch of other twiggy young beauties.

I look at myself in a nearby mirror and I realize why Carlisle is as celebrated as he is. I look absolutely fabulous. I look like a model. There are only two other girls in front of me and psych myself up for this. This has been such an amazing day and I'm on such an amazing high right now I might as well enjoy this.

"Ok gorgeous Go!", Carlisle says with an encouraging little pat on my bum.

I giggle slightly before putting on my "model face" and strut my stuff. I walk down the runway doing my best to look confident and sexy and chic, taking the long high strides with my lips pursed and chin tilted personifying the perfect Burberry-tweed-British-snob. I pause for a moment and strike a pose imitating the familiar hand-on-hip stance I had seen on countless other runways. I felt like I was walking down the grand ballroom staircase at my seventeenth debutante ball again as the crowds eyes fixated on me. Cameras flashed and I could hear the tent whisper about this new girl.

"Is that the other designer?"

"What happened to the other model?"

"Finally another redhead"

"Look at those eyes"

"Those legs"

"That hair"

I turned to flounce back up the runway and caught the shocked looks of surprise of my family and friends.

As soon as I was backstage, I was swept up by Carlisle's assistants as I only had about thirty second to change into my next outfit. This again had to be custom tailored by Carlisle. I flounce down the catwalk again this time in chic little shorts and beautiful blouse, totally exhilarated by the blaring music and hyped-up crowd. This was so much fun! I couldn't believe it!

I had to walk again this time, in my final outfit: A little bikini in the signature plaid, darling espadrilles, and a posh handbag. It didn't even matter that the six inches of swimwear barely covered my shapely butt; I went out there and gave it my all though I couldn't help it when a small smile escaped my glossy lips as I posed for the cameras.

The show ended when Lana Taylor gave her finale in a stunning cream silk gown and I walked out in line with the other models. Carlisle went out to give his final bow with Lana. The crowd exploded in applause.

It was then I heard a shout in an unrecognizable American accent: We want Red! This prompted shouts from much of the other spectators: "Bring out Charlotte!" "Bring out the new girl!" "Where's Charlotte!"

I blushed embarrassed but pleased. Lana peeked behind the curtain and grabbed my hand. "Come on" she said smiling.

I stepped out back onto the stage and the crowd roared again I laughed bashfully and waved to the crowd. Lana grabbed me and we posed for a few more pictures.

Carlisle threw his arms around us and gave us each a one armed hugs

"Looks like fashion has found its new muses!" he said excitedly into our ears.

The three of us posed for one last picture with our arms around each other and bowed before walking off the stage.

I changed quickly into the jeans, stilettos and black halter top I had brought for the after party and pulled the pins out of my perfectly mussed chignon. My auburn hair fell around my narrow pale shoulders as I gathered up my purse to fight through the throng of models and media to get to the after-party at a old warehouse a few blocks away. It took me probably twenty minutes to walk from where I stood to the backstage exit and out onto the frosty Wesminster park. I had to of course pause for a few more pictures with Carlisle and Lana and some other models and answer a few questions though too.

I walked into the warehouse the music pumping deafeningly over the speakers and I tried to search my family and friends all the while smiling and waving to random people half of whom I didn't recognize. Finally I spotted the mess of black and ginger haired people as well as Delilah and Rainier. I forced my way through the hordes of impossibly beautiful people.

"Charlotte you were wonderful!", my mom said while kissing my cheeks.

"Princess really did you have to wear the bikini" my dad said while leaning down to kiss me on the cheek.

"You didn't tell me you were modeling!" exclaimed Delilah hugging me and hitting me at the same time

"You got a standing ovation, it was pretty wicked", Jude said mussing my hair

"You gotta invite me to more of these things I sat next to that brazilian lingerie model She's so freakin' hot!" Cal said in typical playboy fashion

"Congrats sis Now come on drinks all around!" Max said

"Actually we're going to get going the little ones are still with the sitter and we're too old for this kinda thing" my mom said kissing me goodbye

Yeah congrats again princess" my dad said hugging me

I smiled and everyone else went off to enjoy the party.

"You didn't say congratulations to me yet" I said smirking to Rainier as I placed my arms around his waist.

He smiled, "Well you were kind of busy, but now that I've got you all to myself-" and his lips were on mine in a searing kiss", Congratulations" he said against my lips.

I smiled back. "Come on lets go dance like crazy!"

"You go ahead, I'll go grab a drink" he said heading in the direction of the bar

"Fine, party pooper!" I called as he walked away

Two seconds later I was swept up by a Carlisle, who is both fabulously gay and devastatingly handsome, for a spin on the dance floor. We both dance the night away with models and famous friends.

A while later I join Rainier at the circular red velvet booth sitting in talking to a muggle popstar, Jude and some other people I knew were famous but didn't really know. Fortunately, he was sitting on the edge of the booth.

"Hey it's positively stifling in here, let's go outside for a while" I said to Rainier

He excuses himself from the table and we walk through the tall glass doors.

"Are you cold?" he says running his hands over my bare arms and back.

"No, it feels good out here, the dance floor was so hot"

We stood out on the stone walkway for a while, cuddling, looking out over the tumultuous London streets in silence, the sounds of the outrageous party raving inside blending in with car engines and voices of the street people.

"Do you think it could be like this always?" Rainier said suddenly

"Sure" I said nonchalantly not knowing what we were talking about.

"I'm serious, me, you, us, we-"

"-Charlotte!" a familiar voice calls out

"Jamison! You made it! Were you at the show!"

"Yeah, you and you my darling were absolutely fabulous! I mean really you rocked! You're the talk of the town."

"Thanks I never did get the chance to tell you how much I loved your show!"

"Yeah, thanks. So are you modeling now too?"

"No, that was really just on a whim, one of the models had like some weird makeup allergy and broke out in hives. I was just a fill-in. But it was fun, and you know you never know…"

"Well, you looked great up there. So is this the boyfriend?" Jamison said gesturing to where Rainier stood leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"Yeah, Oh my god I can't believe I forgot" I tugged on Rainier's arm, "this is my boyfriend Rainier Malfoy" I said as Jamison and Rainier shook hands, "and this is Jamison Halliwell, he was the other student-designer chosen"

"Nice to meet you Rainier, Charlotte's told me a lot about you" Jamison said

Rainier just nodded silently and I could tell he couldn't wait till Jamison left.

"Well, congratulations again, the show was awesome, I'm going to head inside to the party." Jamison said hugging me goodbye

"Okay we'll probably head back in, in a little bit, don't do anything I wouldn't do" I called to his retreating back teasingly

"And what is that exactly" he said over his shoulder. I flipped him off and he just laughed going inside.

"So" I said as I turned back to Rainier bouncing on the balls of my feet eager to go back and dance, "what were you telling me again?"

"I just said that, I mean I was wondering-well"

"Yes…come on your all cold now lets go back inside get you a drink, warm ourselves up" I said smiling and playing with his hands trying to lighten what had become a slightly tense atmosphere.

"No, I-I don't need another drink, I just-no you go ahead, I'll catch a cab or apparate home or something", he said with a weird mix of distraction and distress on his face.

"Oh please don't- I'll go with you let me just go inside and grab my coat-" I said not really wanting to leave, but trying to figure out what was up with him.

"No, its fine this is your moment of glory right go-enjoy it" he said smiling half-heartedly already searching the hectic London streets for an available cab.

"Well, if you're sure, I guess I'll see you at home then" I said kissing him lightly on the lips excited at turning back to go dance the night away. I left him just as a cab stopped in front of him in his dashing Burberry suit.

Special thanks to

Princess gumdrops

Monks

**Janepotter22**

Catch me if u can

Sameopinkwinx

Rani singala

Queen of my own little world

Dizzy 2831

**Please R&R**


	8. Champions and It Girls

Disclaimer:I don't own Harry Potter or Queen

**Please, Please R&R**

**Confessions of a Potter Princess VIII**

**Sunday in March **

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS! AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TILL THE END-WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! NO TIME FOR LOSERS CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOORLD!"

The players of the England National Team sang out loud, voices filled with joy and exuberance as everyone celebrated their Quidditch World Cup victory at Carnivale. Maxim had thrown a totally crazy party to commemorate the landslide victory of England over Egypt. The game had been over within a couple of hours final score: England: 350- Egypt: 75.

Caliber's leading the song and Dad's on his and the seeker, Heath Wilshire's, shoulders.

"Another round of Firewhiskeys, my dear brother!" called Cal out to Maxim behind the bar.

"Yeah!" the other players roar in response, despite the fact that they're already slurring their words.

Rainier and the keeper Freya Donovan suddenly drench Dad with a water cooler. We all laugh and whoop. We all ate and drank and laughed and relived our favorite moments of the quidditch game for the rest of the night.

The merriment continued on well into the early morning hours. By the time Rainier and I apparated back to our flat it was six in the morning and the sun was rising. We crashed till noon the next day, before I had to get up to go to work at one.

* * *

After the spring/summer fashion show, I had scored a coveted internship at Stella McCartney, as well as a small modeling gig for a new Burberry perfume. The Burberry photo shoot and ad campaign launch is set to be in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime I'm finishing my school credits with the internship. I'm working for Stella till the fall/winter shows in June, she's helping me score my very own show for the fall/winter season.

After that it's still up in the air, but I want to take every opportunity I'm given to establish myself as a credible fashion designer and not just as a girl with the benefits of both wealth and nepotism who decided to try fashion just because she can.

Once I was showered and dressed I went into the kitchen to grab something to eat before I took off. It was then that I noticed the mail lying on the marble counter top of the breakfast bar. I sifted through the letters many of them in thick white parchment envelopes with old-fashioned type face as invitations to benefits, balls, auctions and gallery openings. I came across an interesting letter with my name on it from Bewitched magazine. I opened the envelope it read

_Dear Ms. Charlotte Potter_

_My name is Gwenyth Sterling and I am the main fashion columnist for Bewitched magazine. I would like to ask if you would be interested in being on the cover of our May issue. As the featured persona of the magazine, we would like to include a six-page photo shoot as well as an interview about all aspects of your life. Including your fashion design/modeling career, your love life and relationship with Rainier Malfoy, and what it was like growing up a Potter. If you are interested, please send a reply ASAP to me at Bewitched Magazine 429 S. Stone St., Wizarding London. Please also send a time and place convenient. _

_Sincerely,_

_Gwenyth Sterling_

_Fashion Editor, Bewitched_

Well, duh of course I wanted to be on the cover of a magazine. Especially Bewitched I mean really it was like the Vogue of the wizarding world. I quickly scribbled a reply and told her to meet me at Burner, Max's restaurant, for lunch after work Thursday.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rainier, darling I'm home" I called into our flat as I shut the door arriving home from work at five.

"Hey" he said walking down the hall dressed in only a towel as he obviously just got out of the shower, I was amazed that still after nine months of a relationship I still swoon at the sight of that amazing quidditch toned body; he leaned down to give me a kiss.

"Hey you don't smell like grass" I said breaking the kiss.

"You love my grassy ass, besides its part of the job"

"Yeah well the job's over now isn't it"

"Till summer training, so, how was work?"

"Great the spring line was delivered to the stores today, and I've already gotten some sketches for fall/winter done" I said placing my portfolio down on the coffee table and throwing my light-weight lavender coat onto an armchair.

"That's good. I saw the letter from Bewitched magazine. Are you going to do it?" he said taking my hand and leading me to the couch where we sat cuddling.

"Of course I am, I'm so excited. I mean I didn't think I was famous enough to be in a magazine."

"Why not? Other magazines have done articles on your designs and family and stuff."

"I know, but a cover and six page spread on just me, that's crazy"

"You know they are going to ask you about me?"

"Yeah, is that a problem, because if it is I'm sure I don't have to answer anything personal"

"No it's fine, but what are you going to say to them?"

"Oh you know, they'll probably ask about how long we've been together and how we met and all that, so that stuff?"

"And you'll tell them that you love me or whatever?" he said a little awkwardly

"Or whatever" I said laughing kissing him on the cheek, "and they'll probably ask what's so special about you and I'll say that your sweet and kind" I kissed him on the lips and neck and his taut bare chest, "and your handsome and funny" I slipped my small slender hands into the towel around his waist and straddled him on the couch, while his hands slid under the soft cotton jersey of my shirt and over my porcelain skin playing with my breasts, "and most of all that you do that amazing thing with your tongue" I whispered as my top and jeans suddenly disappeared. He undid the clasp on my white lace bra and I moaned when his mouth came in contact with my aching breasts. At this point his arousal was more than a little noticeable and I was yearning to be touched between my legs. I untangled a hand from his soft golden locks and pulled the towel off of him to touch him. He slid off my matching white lace panties and rubbed a rough calloused hand along the inside of my thigh and then slipped two fingers gently inside of me before finally I couldn't take it anymore and lowered myself onto him. We rocked slowly and surely together making love. That's the way sex always was with us. He was gentle and soft, always appreciating my body always slowing me down when I got too impatient, even that first night, when we arrived at his place, we went from roughly kissing and touching to smooth tender sex. Sometimes I felt like screaming at him to just do it, to just surprise me and make me feel a bit of pain with the pleasure but that wasn't his style in anything, he was chivalrous and gentle in everything, even sex.

* * *

"Ok Charlotte, tilt your head just a little bit to the right, chin up, there you go beautiful" came the heavily accented voice of Luciano Santini, the photographer for the Burberry perfume ad.

The new perfume is called Burberry Shore, it's a light weight breezy summer version of their signature. Right now, we are on a beach in Cornwall, and I'm trying my best to look sultry and sexy as well as maintaining my pose perching precariously on these rocks on a high bluff with the spring winds whipping my red hair about my face.

I had traveled to Cornwall from London the night before and arrived on set this morning for hair and makeup at seven. Rainier had come with me to support me on my first real modeling gig.

The shoot required several different shots, one for the magazines, one for the billboards and one for the stores. In each I posed in the signature plaid bikini.

I loved my look. My hair was washed in salt water and then styled to look just perfectly tousled and beach-y. My big green eyes were highlighted with a touch of luminescent gold shimmering shadow, that looked impossibly perfectly natural too, something only the expert makeup artists like Francesca and Malin could do. My cheeks were colored with a rosy cheek stain to give me just the perfect flush and my lips were smoothed with a very subtle light pink gloss. I never really though I could do an ad like this with my pale skin, but Carlisle said that I was exactly what Burberry was all about, British beauty and sophistication.

"Ok we got it, now lets move down to the sand", shouted Luciano.

His assistants came over to help me down off the slippery, rough rocks. The rocks were somewhat treacherous with their jagged edges and it had taken probably half an hour to set up the lights, camera, and me up on the bluff overlooking the ocean.

"Thanks" I say taking and dressing in the robe offered to me from one of the Italian assistants. She nods and scrambles to help set up the lights on the sand.

"You looked gorgeous" Rainier said leaning in to kiss me. I turned my head and backed away. I had to make sure my makeup wasn't mussed, it took an hour to apply just so.

"Can't ruin the gorgeousness", I said with a small smile when I noticed the slightly miffed look on his face.

"Charlotte, we're ready, tell that boyfriend of yours not to ruin your makeup," called Carlisle

I rolled my eyes, "Ok coming" I squeezed Rainier's hand gently and walked over in front of the camera, handing my robe to another of the assistants.

"Ok now kneel, no-no, actually stand back up…ok stand in the surf, there you go now just stand and pose, ok great beautiful" said Luciano directing the shot.

"Lips, lips and we need more of those emerald eyes", he called out and I lowered my chin to make my eyes look bigger and pouted just a little, left thumb hooked in my bikini bottom and right hand perched scandalously on my right upper inner thigh, "There we go there's the shot fantastic, your just fabulous"

After about twenty frames, we changed the shot for more options.

"Charlotte, my dear little muse, would you mind so terribly if the shot was topless" Carlisle said coming up to me, where I'm talking with Rainier, after conferring with Luciano about the shot.

"Um, no, I guess not", I said not really caring about the nudity aspect of it.

"Fantastic, you'll be paid extra of course", he said taking my hands and kissing each of them, I giggled at his antics. After proclaiming Lana and I the new it girls, Lana had scored both the spring/ summer and fall/winter ad campaigns, where as I was given the new perfume ad.

"Wait, can they do that, isn't that not legal to use in public ads" Rainier said to me after Carlisle left.

"Oh, they'll have my more indecent bits covered with my hair or sand or something" I said waving the comment off, while my eye shadow was retouched.

"Charlotte, we're ready for you", Luciano called from behind the camera

I walked over to the new location, more rocks, though smoother and flatter.

"Ok, sit down on the rocks" he said to me not even looking away from where he was adjusting the camera lens to suit the sunlight.

I perched my self on the smooth rock and one of the assistants moved my long red locks around so that my wavy, beach hair is thrown casually over my breasts.

"Turn to the side and put your front arm behind you and go down on your elbow, good there you go, feet up on the rock and cross our ankles, perfect, arch your back a little more, there gorgeous, your eyes are stunning "

Twenty frames and an aching back and elbow later I was done. An entire ad, one day and 35,000 ₤, this modeling thing wasn't so bad. Still, this wasn't my passion, it was fun on the side and I loved getting my hair and makeup done and the different looks that I get to try, considering I'm usually not big on makeup, but I would never stop designing for it. I was lucky to have this as a side job, and even luckier to have the means to pursue my passion and still maintain the rather ritzy, upscale lifestyle I was used too.

"Oh my gosh, wasn't that just so much fun, no wonder everyone wants to be a model. Plus now I know what to do when I launch my first ad campaign" I said to Rainier on the train ride back to London.

"Fun for you maybe, I got to watch my girlfriend be fondled by Luuciaaannoo's assistants" Rainier said irritably, mockingly.

"Oh don't be so selfish, you get to fondle me anytime you want the least you can do is share, besides you know very well that it was just fashion." I said trying to get a smile out of him.

"Just fashion, I though fashion usually involved clothes" he retorted

I rolled my eyes. He had been strangely snippy the last few days. We had barely had sex in a week.

* * *

A/N: Written as if your reading the article.

**2 mothes later May Issue**

**Bewitched Article**

"**The 'It' Girl"**

Fame, Wealth, Beauty, Talent

Charlotte Lily Potter has certainly been blessed with it all. However, it is clear upon meeting her at Burner, the wizarding London restaurant owned by her best friend Delilah Longbottom's longtime boyfriend and brother Maxim Potter, she is not your normal socialite.

She arrives late apologizing profusely, looking perfectly naturally beautiful in a mint green floral silk georgette minidress, espadrilles and a prim white leather portfolio bag in hand, a truly fabulous late spring/early summer outfit. "I'm so so so terribly sorry about my lateness, it's just that I'm preparing for only my second fashion week and it's been really chaotic lately. I'm Charlotte by the way and you must of course be Ms. Sterling. It's great to meet you; I've got to say that my favorite recent article of yours has got to be the one on Freya Donovan revolutionizing the tomboy. I totally agree with that, she's such a sweetheart and it was nice the public got to see that cute girly side of her. She plays with my brother and Rainier you know" she says speaking fast, in a way unaware that everybody in the wizarding world knows of Caliber Sirius Potter and Rainier Draconus Malfoy.

It's that subtle innocence and modesty, that disarming lack of vanity and the power of her prescence that instantly makes you see why everybody loves eighteen year old Charlotte. She's one of those people that you would hate if you didn't instantly love her so much.

We start conversing back and forth much more easily than I originally thought we would. She's easy going and laid-back, polite, graceful and has an enviably simple, sophisticated elegance and poise well beyond her years. A trait she says she developed after years of dance as well as ministry balls and benefits organized by her mother, the illustrious philanthropic and that other famous beautiful redhead, Ginevra Molly Potter.

I struggled with limiting myself to just a few questions, when her life is so one-of-a-kind, so dreamlike, that I just wanted to know everything about her. (Yeah, me and the rest of the world both magical and muggle) But I tried to incorporate a bit of everything

**So let's start with the fashion thing. How did you find out this is what you wanted to do with your life?**

Wow, well it was really an accumulation of things. I was seventeen and straight out of Hogwarts. I realized that I was financially set for life. I didn't need to do anything if I didn't want to. So I looked to my brothers for inspiration and I realized that I was given something so special: the chance to act on my dreams, to pursue my passion. Rainer and my mother were really the ones who helped me figure out that it was fashion though. I've loved it since I was a little girl, going to the show with my mom and playing with all the beautiful couture gowns in her closet.

**Recently you've dabbled in all aspects of fashion including modeling. Is that going to be a focus of your career now?**

No, I love fashion design and the ability to express myself through that. Modeling was something I was literally pushed into when one of the models for the Burberry a muggle high-fashion designer had an allergic reaction to the makeup and I got dressed and they pushed me on stage. _laughs_. It's really fun though.

**What was your inspiration for this latest fall/winter collection?**

It's a little bit darker a little bit tougher than the spring/summer line. I was influenced a lot more by music, mostly a result of my brother Jude. I recently moved close to him and we've been hanging out a lot more. This collection is definitely more rocker based, a lot of black and sharp contrast with color. I played with a lot of graphic prints and mixed them with classic, old-school silhouettes, though all of the intricate detail in pleats and cross-stitching from my last line is still present. I'm working on that becoming my 'signature'

**Ok, so now on to the real gossip. You and Rainier Malfoy have had a highly publicized relationship is it hard to be young and in love in this celerity life? **

Yeah, we try not to pay attention to much to the tabloid stories these days, that got us into a bit of trouble in the beginning of our relationship Though I hardly think a little lack of privacy is worth complaining about considering all I have. It's truly the best feeling in the world, having someone to love like Rainier, he's everything a girl could ever ask for.

**The two of you have been going out for a long time. Has marriage been brought up at all?**

_Laughs_ Now you sound like my mother! Yeah it will be a year June 3. I don't have anything to say about the marriage rumors, except we'll see what the future holds.

**What about your family? Was it ever weird growing up with all the attention, it's died down a bit since you were younger, but was it hard being little and having to go out the back entrance to your primary school, because of the media?**

People ask me this all the time and I don't really know if I can give a true answer to that question. In all honesty it's the only life I know. I never really knew anything about why I was special because of my father. It didn't click that my dad was a hero or my mom the Minister's daughter. Sometimes I got treated differently, but you learn to read people at an early age. By now I'm pretty good judge of character. Plus, as snobby as it sounds, I went to school and played with several other elitists' children. This was a good move on my parents' part I think because there wasn't such a large social and economic gap between my other friends and me. It helps to be around people who understand and live within relatively the same lifestyle as you. Otherwise, you can feel really ostracized by your peers. My mom, who came from meager beginnings, always taught all the children to really appreciate what we have. My grandparents, even now that they have money, still live in the same house they always have.

**It sounds like you're close to your mother Ginny Potter, is your family close all around?**

I would definitely say that. We've had to be, it would have been hard to grow up in such a big family otherwise, especially regarding all the media attention we got when I was younger and my dad still played quidditch. I think him traveling with the team kept us closer too; we are always willing to share all aspects of our life together. My mom is one of my best friends; she faced a lot of the same things I do post-war, so she really gives me a lot of good advice regarding life in general. My dad's always spoiled us kids like crazy, indulging most of his childhood fantasies along with ours. He's the most loving person, and after all he's been through, he deserves a life as wonderful as this more than most other person on the planet. I do feel a special bond with my sister Tierney too. She's ten years younger, but being my only sister we share a really special closeness. I'm more protective of her than anyone else in my family. And my brothers are so different and crazy even little Dane, they are each so full of life, have such vibrant personalities and yet they are fiercely loyal to each other so supportive and defensive and all turn to saps under the Weasley women including Tierney. One thing for sure is, it was never boring growing up in the Potter household.

**So what's next?**

Oh I don't' even know, a little bit of everything. I just feel so lucky; this whole life is just unbelievable. I always have to pinch myself, to make sure this isn't some fantasy and I want to be able to express my gratitude to the world, to my family, to everyone I love, in a similar way to what my mom has done with Dumbledore's Hearts of Gold. I just- I'm so just happy, there really is no other word for it, and now my goal is to make everyone I can as happy as possible too, that's my latest dream, to make the world, as cheesy as it sounds, a happier place.

And one thing's for sure, with her passion and determination, it girl, Charlotte Potter isn't going to stop till she accomplishes that happy dream either.

_Gwenyth Sterling_

Special thanks to

Princess gumdrops

Monks

**Janepotter22**

Catch me if u can

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Rani singala

Queen of my own little world

Dizzy 2831

**Please R&R**


	9. The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or some quotes similar to those of The Notebook

Please, Please R&R

**Confessions of a Potter Princess IX**

**June 2**

**London Fashion Week Fall/Winter **

"How do you feel?" asks Horton Sheridan the director of the show for my new spring/summer line.

"I don't think I'll throw up this time"

"You have to walk later right?"

"Actually no, I did Stella McCartney yesterday, but couldn't do Burberry, it's mine and Rainier's first anniversary tomorrow"

"That's pretty awesome, well five minutes till showtime, I'm going to check on the hair and makeup" he walks away and I go to stand over by the runway entrance, ready to check the models. We're a half hour behind schedule, but that's typical. The show is being held in a ballroom at an old mansion ten minutes into the London suburbs. I thought it juxtaposed the luxurious, modern clothes nicely.

The after party is to be held in a chic boutique hotel in London. Fortunately, Lana Taylor, who's become a good friend of mine agreed to open the show for me. This is huge considering all of the covers and ad campaigns she's won lately; it also brought even more spectators. The show had to be moved from an abandoned greenhouse in Westminster Park where it was set to be held initially.

Strutting down the runway in my first look, a white and black striped tunic long sleeve dress over bright purple leggings and white and black peep toe pumps, the makeup is done in a soft smoky eye and hot pink lips, hair in smooth curls that's are just a little bit undone, as if your late for an incredibly important event and dashed out into your car with not a second to spare. My brother Jude's song is blaring over the speakers, a hip indie rock single titled "Tuxedo Heart".

One by one the models march up and down the catwalk in paillette shorn cocktail dresses of black, turquoise, purple, silver and white, the main palette for the show cinched with black or white leather lai belts and classic mary-jane pumps or prim ballet flats. Menswear-inspired pants paired with bold silk halters or jewel-toned empire waist dresses with heavy metal jewelry follow dark customized denim miniskirts over black full-length slips, black tights and bright patent leather shoes. The collection contained 35 looks and the show was twenty minutes long. Jude, Maxim and Delilah, Caliber and Rainier were all there.

At the end of the show, I walk out onto the runway for my final bow with Lana to thunderous applause. Backstage I answer a million questions from the fashion media and finally head to the after-party in black leather pants and bold Versace top.

* * *

When I arrive, the party is already in full-swing, and everyone claps upon seeing my entry. I don't really know if I'll ever get used to how special that feels and I'm elated that I was able to have two stellar shows.

It's then that I notice Gates Canning, the one who really helped start all of this standing nearby, looking like he's waiting to talk to me. I finally am able to excuse myself from everyone to talk to him.

"Gates, it's so good to see you, I'm so glad you were able to come to the show!" I say kissing each of his cheeks.

"But of course, you were after all my little protégé, now I have to say I'm most impressed, from British socialite to celebrated couturier in two seasons, who would have thought!"

"Well, I really never would have known how to put on a show without you, I just can't wait to get started on next season"

"That is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm about to present you with a fabulous opportunity. What do think about Paris?"

"Paris?" I say eagerly, my interest peaked

"Yes, Paris, the home of couture week"

"Couture week" I gasp "You don't mean…"

"That's exactly what I mean; you have your own couture show. And not just couture, but also a place for a resort-wear trunk show as well as a modeling contract with Balenciaga and a spot at every Paris Fashion Week you want" he says promisingly

"This is a joke right" I say unbelievingly "A couture show my second fashion year with resort-wear and a spot at couture week, and a modeling contract with Balenciaga"

"No joke, Balenciaga or well I, feel you have everything it takes to be big in Paris, the place for cutting edge fashion. I know you've scored on the London scene but this isn't nearly the same. Paris is the birth place of couture; we're talking Christian Lacroix, John Galliano, Christian Dior, Chanel, Chloe, Givenchy; the greatest ateliers of fashion ever."

My eyes go wide as I try to comprehend all of this. These were my idols. Not only was I going to get a chance live and work where they were based, but I was going to be showing alongside them. What he said was true, London wasn't exactly the fashion mecca of the world, Paris is where the true artists were, and then New York. This is fucking insane an opportunity unlike any other in the world.

"You don't have to answer right away, since the trip involves a rather significant move to Paris and if you need to discuss it with whomever then…."

"I'll do it! Yes, absolutely, yes! No fucking way in hell is anyone going to stop me!" I say ecstatic, throwing my pale lithe arms around his neck and jumping up squealing with joy. The party was so loud no one really noticed but I wanted to shout it from the rooftops now. For the rest of the night I couldn't stop smiling. I jumped up on top of the bar to try and find Rainier, but didn't see him anywhere. The party-pooper was probably off smoking cigarettes outside as usual.

* * *

Early around nine he found me, and asked if we could leave, because he needed to tell me something that couldn't wait. I wasn't really ready but I really wanted to tell him all about the Paris thing as soon as possible too. Gates told me not to say anything to anyone else though until a formal press statement could be announced.

When we arrive home, he tells me that he has an announcement to make and I sit down on the clueless at what his announcement could be and literally bouncing with joy about to burst trying to contain all my excitement at my own announcement. He walks into the kitchen and comes back with a magnum of champagne and two glasses.

"So are you going to tell me what this surprise announcement is, because I really need to tell you something too?" I say smiling using all my self-control to keep in my excitement.

"Okay, well then I'll go first" he says handing me a bubbly glass of champagne "but here isn't right lets go up to the roof" and he grabs my hand and we go out into the hall our glasses of champagne sloshing as we ran up the flight of stairs from our 28th floor penthouse to the roof of the building.

We lay down on the concrete rooftop like we had so many other times before.

"Now can you tell me?"

"Ok well, I just landed an endorsement deal with Firebolt brooms." He said taking a sip of champagne

"Are you serious that's great." I said leaning up on my elbow to look at him

"Yeah 17 million galleons" he said with a smile

"That's wow, oh Merlin, that's amazing!" I said in shock at the size of the endorsement deal

"Yeah, so what was your big announcement?" he asked. I told him all about the job in Paris, about the amazing once in a lifetime opportunity.

"That's incredible Charlotte"

" I know can you imagine couture, me, Balenciaga everything it's just so like -Oh my gosh I can't even describe it!" I said kissing him deeply.

"Come on, let's go celebrate. Let's go to Carnivale or Glitereatti or both!" I said grabbing his hand already getting up

"Hey it's only nine thirty, besides this is nice , I don't know I wanted to spend some time together" he said tugging me back to the ground

"Oh come on, besides tonight we like never go out anymore"

"The night is still young" he said laughing

"Ok fine maybe later" I said sighing softly

We were silent for a long time, laying on the warm concrete roof of the London high-rise, the sounds of the bustling streets were so different; barely faint background noise instead of head-pounding. Our hands intertwined, I could tell he was thinking by the way his fingers were clenched tightly around mine.

"You know I love you right" he said breathing slowly

"Yeah of course I love you too" I respond immediately unclear of where this is going

He grabs both my hands and takes them in his looking deep into my emerald eyes, his grey-blue orbs dark and stormy with seriousness and sincerity.

"Well I-I've been thinking and I know your only eighteen and not ready for marriage but can you, can you just think about this. I mean do you think you could promise me forever, because I want that. I need that. I'm in this forever. Can you do that Charlotte-can you promise me forever?" he says his voice aching earnestly

He looks at me for a long time, but I don't say a word. Marriage and forever these words were too much for me. I couldn't get my head around what they mean and I can't stand his gaze boring into mine trying to read me, I can't stand the way he's looking at me, but I can't blame him he wants an answer.

He relinquishes my hands and sips his champagne laying back down again, we're quiet again, a heavy silence hanging in the air full of unanswered question and unspoken feelings.

"So Paris that's great, I mean really that's fantastic"

I get excited at the topic and turn to face him again and start speaking quickly

"I know we'll have to start looking for a flat there right away-"

"Charlotte-"

"or maybe a townhouse"

"Charlotte-"

"Colton said there was something available down the street from his flat and-"

"CHARLOTTE! I can't go with you" he says loudly

"Why-why not?" I say stuttering surprised at this

"I can't just relocate my whole life, especially when it's not going anywhere" he says softly

"I don't understand" I say a little disbelieving

"I know you don't, and that's what I'm saying, you never understood what this is, what I meant when I said forever. I mean that. I meant for the rest of our lives and you, this, us- it can't work. You're going away and I'm so happy for you, I'm so happy that you're doing that"

"So then come with me?" I say trying to just settle this, I don't want a fight and I don't like were this is going at all

"And do what Charlotte, what am I supposed to do in Paris" he says throwing his arms up in the air, standing up turning away from me.

"Be with me" I plead. I stand up and move right behind him a little unsure of what to do. "Please, maybe I can't do this forever thing now, but I'm not ready yet. I've told you. Give me time, just please don't say that, don't say it cause I can't now" my voice is beseeching and tears come to my eyes

"If not now, then never! Don't you get it, you'll never be ready, you'll never be able to do this. Deep down you know it too. Maybe you still love me now, but fuck you'll never love me the way I want you too." His breathing is ragged and my whole body clenches at his words. I don't understand my heart is racing, my head is pounding and I can't stop the tears from burning my eyes, threatening to fall.

"Do you realize that we've been together a year, and you never once have said I love you first. Never, and I don't think you ever will!" he says his voice strained his face wounded and brows furrowed, his words are twisting his mouth in a painful way and I don't know what to do.

"I've gone through this entire year and I've watched you dance on tables and smile at the cameras, become the media darling and your so amazing and so beautiful" he says reaching a hand out to touch me and then thinking better of it, "and I get it your career is taking off and your leaving soon-", he says his voice breaking and I can't stay silent any longer I have to break in.

"So what, it's over now, your going to give all the love and happiness we have now because of a maybe, because I _maybe_ won't love you in the future!" I say frustrated the tears falling freely now

"Look you're not leaving for another couple of weeks and then we'll see how it goes you know-", he responds weakly touching my hair gently in his right hand

"No what the fucks the point of that, if you're going to break up with me then do it" I yell pushing him away"

"Stop-" he yells back

"No dammit do it, come on do it, I hate you! Fuck Rainier just do it" I say punching him on the chest sobbing, losing all control completely

"Charlotte stop just listen to me"

"No do it, might as well get it over with. Fuck I'll do it. IT'S OVER I HATE YOU ITS OVER I LOVE YOU ITS OVER"

"Charlotte please stop", he says grabbing my wrists, but I pull away

"Get away from me!"

"Fine then, this is it then, this is the end, this is over" he says sounding both defeated and exasperated backing away from me

"No, you don't really mean that do you please-" I beg crying, my vision blurred and I feel sick

"I can't, I can't do this anymore Charlotte, I just-"

And he's gone running down the stairs and I collapse onto the concrete floor crying, pulling on my hair, not knowing what the fuck to do. But then again, what is life without the pursuit of a dream?

* * *

Special thanks to

Princess gumdrops

Monks

**Janepotter22**

Catch me if u can

Sameopinkwinx

Rani singala

Queen of my own little world

Dizzy 2831

**Please R&R**


	10. Latest Mistake

Sorry for the confusion over the title for the last chapter. I'm no where near finished. Though sadly Rainier and Charlotte are.

This is a bit of a filler chapter I admit and makes some drug, eating disorder and sexual references. Remember its M for a reason. Finals have been crazy this week, but I took a break between studying for AP classes, volleyball and ballet and I'm going on a conformation retreat this weekend plus my internets been screwed up but enough of that heres the next chap.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter Please Review

* * *

**Confessions of a Potter Princess X**

The room is large and airy, bright from the wall of windows, with a splendid view of the Eiffel Tower. The Parisian penthouse takes up the entire seventh floor with five bedrooms and ornate wrought iron balcony across the front view of the Parisian street as well as along the back to view the famous Louvre.

"So what do you think?" Colton asked and I silently sit down on the bare wood floors, pulling on the sleeves of my cashmere sweater. I know its early July, but I'm always cold these days.

I smile sadly at Colton as he sits down on the hard polished floor next to me. He puts his arm around me and we sit there together and he's warmth and love and hope and everything that I don't have right now.

I don't cry so much anymore, because I know I gave Rainier up to be here, I know that it was my sacrifice and my fault. I look around at the big empty apartment and that's all that I see the emptiness. Empty and alone. Though I know better, I'm not alone. I'm never alone. This all so pathetic, because in fact when you get right down to it, I still have everything and more.

"Have you eaten anything today?" he said softly murmuring into my ear.

"No, I have to be at my first shoot in an hour anyway I don't really want to eat now, it'll show"

"Well, just make sure you eat something later than, I'm taking a client of mine to dinner tonight. If you want, you can come with?" he said standing up directing a mover as all of our boxes are being brought in.

"No, no I'll be bored stiff, you have fun talking about suing whoever, I think I'm going to go out with some friends afterwards"

**Later**

"Manhattan please" I ordered from the Bisou Bisou bar, the club I was at with friends, model Lana Taylor, rock offspring Lulu Flowers, and hotel heiress Theodora Marriott. The four of us were going crazy, already on our fifth drink of the night.

Not the healthiest lifestyle maybe, but hey live fast die pretty, right?

Ever since Rainier and I had ended things, rather badly I might add, I had been going out more and more as if trying to make up for lost time. Then again, it could also be because, it was easy to get lost in the booze and music of the clubs. The flashing lights and crowded dance floors left no room for self-pity; it was all about living in the moment.

The four of us danced fast with people we never got the name of. Grinding, pumping, groping, my body's slick with sweat and I don't even know what this guy looks like. There's nothing gentle about it, it's wild and provocative and fast and I'm trapped in the lights and sounds. Who cares if I go home with him or the guy across the room, or if I feel like it some hot girl? I've never had to go home alone if I didn't want too.

This is boring me and I grab Lulu's hand pulling her away from the tall dark stranger she's currently rubbing up against. She's definitely the wildest of all of us, and there's no doubt in my mind that she'll be going home with both a guy and girl tonight, but not until after she's fucked a guy against a bathroom stall and then a girl on one of the couches in the VIP lounge upstairs.

We jump on the table and the eyes of a zillion men are watching us dance together, and I don't mean the kind of dancing we do at ministry balls and social benefits. Madame Amelie, my ballet instructor for fourteen years, would in fact be appalled by the alcohol fueled "dancing".

Around three in the morning, I stumble out of the club supported only by Cleante Durriere, a French muggle actor and a rather famous one at that. We catch a cab back to his place, to do something I know I'll regret in the morning. This wasn't like Rainier; this wasn't passion and love at first. But, look at where that got me anyway.

Lust and a fiery need for instant gratification, instant fulfillment, that's all that this is now. And I'll enjoy it, I always do. He's People magazine's sexiest man alive after all. I could have picked a worse guy for a one night stand. But this is cheap and sleazy and yet frankly I don't give a shit. We're kissing and biting in the back seat of the cab my top easily rips and his blue button down is now without buttons. We have an unspoken agreement between two beautiful people, he'll help me erase my highly publicized breakup with Rainier tonight and I'll help him forget that little drug scandal the paparazzi have been stalking him for, again just for tonight. Cleante Durriere, my latest conquest, my latest mistake.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey" I yawn out tiredly to Colton as I walk into our new flat just four hours later. He's sitting at the dining room table eating a hearty breakfast that makes my stomach churn.

"Where were you last night?" he asked accusingly. I ignore him though and head toward the kitchen looking for the hangover potion I know is in there somewhere. Not vomiting, the only thing on my mind.

"Well, do you at least know his name?" he asked more gently this time.

I get where he's coming from but really I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. Plus, I know Colton, this isn't a fatherly gesture and he wasn't worried because I was partying, but more because he thinks I'm in a fragile state right now, leaving home and family and friends, and breaking off my first adult relationship. He's always telling me to eat more, or to sleep more and to work less.

But, it's almost like I feel guilty doing these things. I gave up my life in London and Rainier to pursue my career, if I take even a moment to stop and rest I feel like I'm doing my whole cause a great disservice. I don't get to rest, I don't get to take a moment to stop, and I don't deserve that. If I'm not working than I need to be out partying. And it's not just because of the attention and feeling of lust, but also because I feel like if I don't go out I'm going to miss something, or someone, that I need that I've been waiting for.

"Cleante Durriere" I answered after choking down the tar like hangover potion.

"The actor",Colton said sounding, funnily enough, just a little bit impressed.

"Yup" I grab a towel and wet it in the kitchen sink and place it on my forehead, "I'm going to go lie down for an hour or two before I head to work"

When I woke again a couple of hours later, I got into the shower and cleansed myself of the previous night's activities. It wasn't bad at all. Cleante was great in bed and I have to admit I did in a sense enjoy the power that I felt I had from just leaving this morning. I snuck out of the bed and left without a word while he was till sleeping. It was easy, and in the end, it was a little bit fun, being a little bit slutty, being the one to leave first.

I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed the "love" bite on my décolletage. I looked at my naked body in the mirror.

Usually I was happy with my body; I had tried to have confidence in it, even through the years of intense dance classes. But for some reason I couldn't place my stomach looked bigger today and my knees looked fat, arms limp and pudgy this was unacceptable.

Gates had asked me to be in his couture show. Everyone knew that couture was the epitome of perfection in both the delicately constructed clothes as well as the beauty of the models. These women were the most stunning women, the thinnest women, the chicest women.

The press statement had already been made that I would model in the show. There was absolutely no way that I, Charlotte Lillian Potter was going to be asked to either one: drop the show or two: have the clothes let out to fit my fat body.

Thank god, the shows weren't for another month still. That really would have been quite disastrous, if the show had been say tomorrow. I mean just looking at myself; I needed to drop at least fifteen pounds. A size zero or nothing, I told myself. That is my new goal.

I hurriedly dress in a pair of dark jeans and an old loose cotton jersey tee, not daring to put on shorts or tank tops despite the hot summer weather outside. I don't think I could bare the disappointment of looking at myself anything else.

I went out again that night, though this time Colton came with and we each danced the night away with each other and others, finally making our way home at nearly two in the morning. I had fun, but Colton had unfortunately insisted we go out for pasta ahead of time.

Oh gods, just thinking about all those carbs, that cheese, the rich sauces, the salad dressing made me want to scream. But I didn't want to appear weird about the food thing; because I knew Colton would fuss over it. So we ate and thankfully I was able to excuse myself to the bathroom after dinner, where I promptly stuck my finger down my throat and watched all those calories swirl away into nothing. My sides hurt with the effort and my throat burned afterward from the stomach acid, but I didn't give a shit. It felt good, a kind of purification.

I had weighed myself upon arriving home from work and discovered that I had in fact weighed one pound less than I had that morning. It was working, one more pound gone and I was able to steady myself, losing the original panic that I felt earlier that morning. It was agony still though upon seeing that I weighed 123 pounds. That wasn't like obese or anything for a 5'9" girl but for a couture model that was still like ten pounds too heavy. Though I figure if I can lose fifteen, I'll be golden. I'll be perfect.

* * *

I catch myself staring at the rail-thin body of Lulu Flowers enviously as we lounge at the pool in the Cannes beach house we rented for the rest of July. It's just me, Lulu and her flavor of the week a rocker by the name of Falin, just Falin, and Colton. Delilah and Maxim were going to visit in a week. The sparkling turquoise sea and bright white sand are the perfect view from where I lounge in my sapphire blue bikini. But, I feel anything but perfect.

I look at Lulu again and see her flirting with Falin. She's so thin, so gorgeous, a long tan luxurious brunette with golden-brown eyes and big pouty red lips. She looked exactly how she was too dead sexy, totally disarming and a very naughty girl indeed. I had never really seen her exercise though and I wondered at how she was so damn skinny. It wasn't fair. I mean I wasn't jealous of her in many respects; she had a very broken family with something like ten half-brothers and sisters by her philandering dad, an aging rock god. But still…

I even caught her eating a brownie after lunch later and literally gagged at the sight of the rich chocolate dessert. Partly, because I seemed to have developed that reflex whenever I saw food these days and partly because I didn't understand how she could eat that and still keep that fat free frame. I mean she wasn't a zero, like I wanted to be, but she was definitely a size two and she was only three inches shorter.

"How do you it?" I ask as we change to go out later that night. We're in our underwear putting on just a bit of makeup before we go out tonight and I notice the narrowness of her hips in comparison to mine.

"Do what?" she asks smacking her lips together after they're freshly glossed.

"Stay so skinny. I mean you obviously don't diet a lot and you don't exercise"

She sighed heavily and placed the lipgloss on the marble countertop.

"Look, if I tell you, you have to promise you wont spread around my secret" she said looking seriously into my eyes her hands placed on my shoulders.

"Okay, I promise" I whisper barely able to stand the anticipation. I feel like a little sweet-toothed girl being told to promise to behave and she'll get that double scoop ice cream cone.

She grabbed my hand and we run conspiratorially into her room down the hall, and I'm about to uncover a wonderful treasure. The elixir of perfection.

"Ok, now remember this is totally secret, but it's also the secret to staying skinny, and I'm only telling you this because you're my friend" she said unzipping her suitcase and taking out a small little vial of something.

"What is it" I say gesturing to the small vial

She opened the vial and poured a bit of fine white powder into her hand. It looked innocent and harmless like powdered sugar, but I knew what this was immediately, and it was anything but sweet.

Cocaine.

* * *

Special thanks to

Princess gumdrops

Monks

**Janepotter22**

Catch me if u can

Sameopinkwinx

Rani singala

Queen of my own little world

Dizzy 2831

bratski

**Please R&R**


	11. Girls just wanna have fun

**Disclaimer: **I dont own Harry Potter

Latest chapter. It may seem rushed but I'm trying to figure out how I want this next section ofmy story to read. All feedback would be helpful. I've been having technical difficulties lately with my internet.

Anyway, Please Review

* * *

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XI**

Lana, Lulu Theodora and I sat in the lush chintz chairs of the Rosaire hotel women's lounge. Bored out of our minds at the French Interior Minister's ball, we decided to do some lines in the powder room. Lana and I both had the same reason for snorting the cocaine, losing weight, Lulu liked it, because it helped take her mind off her screwed up family life and Theodora, well she did it because she could really.

I felt the effects after a minute or two, the excited, adrenaline rushing feeling and seemingly boundless energy. This is maybe only the second time I've used it. I was too scared to try it last month in Cannes, but when I saw I wasn't losing the weight fast enough, I figured it was worth a shot.

At least maybe now this stuffy old ball won't be so boring. We freshen up just a bit and walk back into the ballroom, giggling insanely. Its funny how all dressed up in Chanel or Valentino gowns, you wouldn't suspect that we were high. Only, really that we were four gorgeous, privileged young girls having fun, enjoying a night of tasteful elegance. With our hair done up in chignons and our faces painted in classic makeup, it was hard to believe each of us had done something so impure.

I loved high-society really. It was so fun, like being a muggle actress, so fun to pretend and wave and smile and be a little porcelain doll.

Faking it was easier than people think. At least then I was in control.

My family had been crazy lately and Colton was always watching me to make sure I was eating or whatever. Plus all the fittings for the couture shows, combined with running around all over the place setting up a boutique and marketing my resort wear line really messed with a girl's head.

I didn't care though; finally I was losing weight, real significant weight. The only thing that made me calm was seeing the scale register less and less. Reed Branson, the photographer for my Balenciaga ad, was always complementing on my new figure. He was a world-renowned photographer, he had photographed the most beautiful people in the world, and he knew what a great body was.

Lately, the paparazzi had been even more eager to photograph me. Usually I don't mind being photographed, but it had become insane. Paparazzi stalked me as I went for a jog in the nearby park or as I shopped. But it wasn't so much the pictures as it was the headlines. All showed what I'm sure were digitally re-mastered photos of me as being emaciated, but there is no way they could have been me. I'm still way too fat to look like that.

Some of the stuff people made up about me were so crazy I almost wished it were true. I was apparently set to star in the next music video for the hot new band The Faux Pas fronted by my brother, lead singer and backup guitarist Jude James Potter. Big in both the muggle and magical world, they were known for putting on a killer show, magically of course.

But it gets even better. Apparently I'm pregnant with lead guitarist Julian Hill's baby but sleeping with the married drummer John Gray, both of whom I've known for years because they went to school with my brother. Then of course there's the even better report of I'm sleeping with everyone in the band including my brother. Umm eww!

Then there was the: I'm going to elope with the young Prince of Monaco to our own private island in the Caribbean because the King and Queen don't approve of me rumor. Yeah, went to summer camp with the Prince one time, cute but probably gay. Honestly what twelve year old boy brings a flat iron to summer camp.

The clock strikes midnight and we tear out of the hotel like deranged Cinderellas with some guys we met. Ripping off our ball gowns as the valet brings around Theodora's silver Aston-Martin one of the guys jumps at the chance to drive the sports car. We zoom along the Parisian streets and let our hair down out of the tight chignons. Five minutes later we pull up in front of Paris' best nightclub.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later

My heart feels like its eating itself. My body's numb and bolts of lightning are shooting through my head as I sit in the VIP lounge of Bisou Bisou after doing more lines of coke with Lulu and a couple of guys we met about an hour ago.

I giggle when I feel one of the guys slip his hands under the back of my shirt and the other creep his hands up my miniskirt. I know this is wrong and it doesn't even feel good but I'm so high out of my mind right now I don't give a fuck.

"Charlotte! - there your are" Colton rushes towards me his face a mix of fury and despair

He pushes the hands of the men away from me and grabs my arm to pull me up off the loveseat.

"Colton leave alone, I don't wanna go home yet" I whine pulling away from his grasp weakly

"Charlotte, lets go we're leaving." He tightens his grip

"No, Colton, come on, do a line, the party's just getting started" I say carelessly, my visions blurred and I'm stumbling on my words

"Let's go" he insists

"At least, let me get another drink, the last one's wearing off"

"I think you've had quite enough"

"NO let me go, I'll tell you when I've had enough" I yell tired of his shit. I'm just trying to have a good time. Why won't anyone let me have fun anymore?

"Fine, you know what Charlotte, do what you want, I don't give a fuck anymore" he yells back roughly and let go of my arm. I fall backwards onto the loveseat atop Lulu and the guys. We explode into raucous laughter.

* * *

I wake up next to a man I recognize as Gerard Arlington, an English shipping heir, in a hotel room. I gather my things together and dress hurriedly then apparate back to my bedroom in my flat just a few blocks away. 

My heads pounding and my skin is clammy. I shower and am about to dress again before heading to work, but not until I give myself a full body inspection again. I pull at the skin on my ribs and the flesh of my stomach. The bile rises up in my throat when I feel the fat that despite my best efforts still lingers there.

I don't understand. I don't eat breakfast or lunch and I eat dinner only when I have too. I've been running nine miles a day and then going out dancing at night.

It doesn't matter though I'm still a failure.

I don't really know what happened last night, other than I slept with Gerard and that I was out celebrating the fact that my healer said I wasn't pregnant, even though I hadn't had my period for a while now. He asked if I was eating, I told him I was half-Weasley, of course I ate.

I look at my clock and see that I still have twenty minutes before I have to be at work. Maybe I can go running. I'll have to sprint the entire time if I'm going to burn any calories in only twenty minutes, but I can try.

It frustrates me, I've been so dedicated. I tacked up pictures of me in the tabloids as reminders of how fat I was as motivations, next to pictures of the supermodels I dressed. I had begun counting the calories in everything; I was even trying to limit how much toothpaste I used. I wore layers of clothing to disguise my problem areas, like my pudgy belly and fat arms, plus I was always freezing even in the ninety degree weather.

I change again, this time into a Juicy Couture sweatsuit and lace up my trainers. I walk down the hallway where I see Delilah and Colton sitting in the living room whispering to each other. They stop though when they hear my footsteps.

"Hi guys what's going on" I said suspiciously

"Nothing, um Delilah just came over to get some legal advice" Colton said tersely.

He may have been a lawyer i.e. a good liar but I had known him since I was born practically, he couldn't fool me, though I didn't understand what the attitude was all about.

"No, we should tell her the truth" Delilah said to Colton "She isn't herself and she needs help now"

"Tell me what- wait why do I need help, what the fuck is going on here" I demanded

"Take a look in the mirror" Colton said grabbing me and pushing me in front of the full-length mirror in the guest bathroom.

I peer at my reflection and pull on the chubby skin of my cheeks. I look a little tired maybe, but as far as I'm concerned that's nothing a little concealer can't fix. Other than the fat along my chin and shoulders I don't see anything wrong.

"Charlotte- you've got to stop this. You're starving yourself; if you don't stop you'll make yourself sick."

"You stop, I'm perfectly fine. I don't know why everyone is so worried about me. I mean really, so I've dropped a few pounds big deal"

"Charlotte- what is this" Delilah demanded coming back into the room with a clear vile of cocaine

"Did you go through my things?" I yelled back. Everyone was attacking me, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Go through your things, it was lying on your bedside table. Charlotte, listen to me, answer me, truthfully, are you using it" Delilah said sitting me down on the couch. I felt like a two year old as she spoke softly and slowly.

"I've tried it a few times with friends, It's totally not an issue"

"Bullshit, Charlotte, you were on it last night" Colton interrupted.

"Last night-"

"Don't tell me you don't even remember. Fuck I can't believe this. Listen to me Charlotte, you can't keep doing this. You're losing control. You don't remember what you said to me and I don't blame you. But your fucking killing yourself, do you not understand that!"

"Understand what, I've got plenty of control, so just leave me the fuck alone. Besides it was just for the couture show and the show is tomorrow. I promise I'll stop then." I replied. All the yelling was giving me a headache; I just wanted this to stop. I needed to work out or something. I can't deal with this.

I walk over to the bar and empty the bottle of Ketel One on the counter into a crystal tumbler. It may only be ten in the morning but time means nothing now. My hands are shaking as I raise the glass to my lips, but I'm dizzy and the glass is too heavy. It slips from my hands and shatters on the floor.

Splintering into a million pieces, I feel as if it is the bones of my wrist. I fall to the floor in despair and grab my shoulders hugging myself. My shoulders feel like bird skulls so tiny and bony, grasped too tightly they'll be crushed to pieces.

How could this happen to me? Me, who had so much control over my life, who was just now finally finding something to make me happy. Didn't they see that? Didn't they get that losing weight made me happy? Don't they want me to be happy?

I feel warm arms around my waist, followed by a warm solid body, shielding me as I choke on my own tears. Big, strong hands envelope my waif-like figure and soft, nurturing murmurs of "It'll be okay" make me realize how out of control my life in the past six weeks had become.

I finally understood.

**Shocking Pictures!**

**Charlotte's Silent Starvation**

Charlotte Potter fashion designer and socialite has lost a reported 35 pounds in just one month. This puts the 5'9" redhead at 95 pounds an extremely unhealthy weight.

**How thin is too thin? **

The latest victim of the pressures of the fashion industry Charlotte Potter, model, designer, and socialite has been speculated of drug and or alcohol abuse to lose weight.

**Friendly Anorexia**

Charlotte Potter and Lulu Flowers celebrity friends out every night, partying, drinking, starving!

These headlines had littered the tabloids for weeks. They weren't as unreal as I had once perceived. For weeks, it had been draining to even make it up the stairs of my building. I had in fact had to nap for hours on end. The only thing that kept me awake was the cocaine. Working all day, drinking and partying all night, it had taken its toll on my body.

* * *

**Couture Show**

"We're going to have to re-fit this. I'll take it in here, here and here. Don't move I'll poke you" Gates said to me sighing as my now ill-fitting gown was pulled closer to my body. Even he had approached me about my emaciated corpse.

After yesterday's breakdown, I had a long talk with Delilah and Colton. They agreed to let me do the show and not tell my family about the drugs, if I agreed to take some time off and take care for myself afterwards. This morning I had traded in the coke for espresso to keep me awake and was now being refitted for my outfits for the couture show since I had lost five more pounds since the last fitting. Colton took the scale out of the bathroom, but it puts me at approximately 97 pounds.

"There you're finished, take a break, or better yet grab a snack" he said giving me a quick hug and a soft kiss on the cheek before running off.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My clavicles could cut glass. My hipbones are like razor-blades and cheeks and eyes sunken. They had used to tons of makeup to make me beautiful. My hair had become lackluster and eyes dull, but makeup and my very own glamour charms really did make all the difference. The sad part was that I wasn't even the skinniest model here.

Ten minutes later I stood in line amongst probably twenty other gaunt women. I was so lucky that the couture show was so serious. I could channel all my inner turmoil into fierce, raw emotion. Dressed in intricate black lace and other clothes of dark mysterious artistry, I was like a living statue of ambiguity.

The show truly is incredible. It's such a different vibe than just a fashion show. This wasn't about who was sitting in the front row with whom, this was about serious fashion. This was beyond clothing this was wearable art.

Only Delilah and Colton had come to see me. My Dad and Cal were in the States for Quidditch. Jude was on a European underground club-scene tour, right now he was playing in Dublin. Maxim couldn't get time off work, and Mom was busy with the little ones. It was fine though.

I pose at the end of the runway and flashbulbs flicker incessantly. The lights make me dizzy and I'm trying to focus on just making it back stage again. I put one foot in front of the other again and again. Every step takes that much more effort though. I lift my foot up to take another step but my muscles are yearning for me to stop and I can't seem to see where I'm going anymore. Finally I recognize that I'm no longer on the runway and feel people tugging on me, pulling on my clothes.

But it's too much. I feel myself falling, fainting and I black out, collapsed on the floor.

* * *

Special Thanks to all my reviewers. I'm so glad that so many of you continue to read my story.

**Please R&**R


	12. Nobody's Perfect

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Things have been crazy lately. But I finally got around to writing this next chapter. It's amazing what you can get done en route to Switzerland from JFK in NYC. Thanks so much to all my reviewers and all of my other readers. All of the feedback is strongly appreciated and more reviews are always welcome (hint, hint) This chapter I admit may not be much. But, I have a little twist coming in the next chapter.

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XII**

"Oh good, you're awake" came an unfamiliar female voice. I groggily opened my eyes and tried too sit up but my head was pounding and I instantly fell back against the pillows.

"Don't sit up you're still weak, now here drink this" she said handing me a silver goblet of green steaming liquid

"What is it? Wait, Where am I? " I asked confused and still sleepy.

"Please drink it Ms. Potter and I'll answer your questions in just a minute" she said to me. I choked down the potion and my head became instantly clearer and I felt more alert.

"Did you finish all of it? Good, it's replenishing potion. You're at the St. Pierre Wizarding Hospital of Paris by the way. I'm Assistant Healer Vivienne. Now, I'm going to alert Healer Des Lyons that you're awake. There's a young man and woman outside who brought you in, I'll send them into see you as well. You rest, and don't go anywhere" and with that she left the room.

I looked around at my hospital room. I could see my reflection in the shiny silver of the goblet now lying on my bedside table.

"Oh Merlin I look horrible" I said to myself.

"Well you would have looked a lot worse six feet under" came the unmistakable breathy voice of Delilah. She walked into the room and hugged me before sitting at the foot of the hospital bed.

"How are you feeling?" asked Colton as he followed her into the room, kissing me gently on the forehead before also sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Ok, tired but I feel fine otherwise" I responded weakly. I was embarrassed by what happened, glad that they had helped me, but also embarrassed that my vulnerability had been so exposed.

"The healer says your thirty pounds underweight. Do you remember what happened at all?" asked Delilah

"Honestly not much, I remember coming off the runway and being dressed for the next outfit, I had a pretty bad headache, but that's the last thing I remember."

"That's basically what happened, you had just finished walking and then you collapsed backstage. Gates alerted a security guard and they came and told us what happened. We went backstage and saw you lying on the floor in the middle of a crowd of people." Colton said

"Oh Char, it was so scary. You were so pale and bony that you looked dead" Delilah said bursting into tears

I felt so bad. I never meant to hurt them too. Delilah and I hugged for a long time afterward and we both cried for a while.

"How long have I been out?" I asked after a long time.

"About a day and a half. Gates, Lana, Theodora and Lulu stopped by for a while. The girls all felt horrible. They were crying and all in the midst of a breakdown. I'm sure they must have felt bad. Your family is on their way as we speak. They should be here in about an hour or so" said Colton

"Oh, they can't see me like this. What am I going to tell them? I can't tell them about the drugs. They can't know."

"Colton and I talked about this with Healer Des Lyons already." Delilah told me "You parents don't have to know about the cocaine, and nobody can force you to tell them, we won't. But, they are requiring you to go to a rehabilitation facility for the anorexia. We just want you to be happy again Charlotte, and healthy"

"But look at me. I'm just a breathing disaster. Nobody can see me like this"

"Your still gorgeous princess, but maybe you should let people see you Charlotte. I mean last time I was here you were still unconscious and I must say you were very fucking rude to me. You didn't say a word." Colton said

I laughed but inside I still felt like a failure.

* * *

**Six Weeks Later**

"Charlotte, lets start with you. Please describe why you're here and how it was that you ended up here at Doillon" came the soothing voice of Lorne Savoy, my group leader at Doillon Centre, which is basically a rehab clinic for the rich and famous.

"Umm, okay well I had an eating issue. Like, I-uh I didn't do it. I was going through a tough time; you know lots of personal drama and work issues. And I…well; it culminated in me collapsing backstage after walking in one of the shows at Couture Week."

"Thank you Charlotte, Cristoff why don't you go next, describe why you're here and what made you choose Doillon…"

My thoughts wandered as Cristoff Verne, a German Quidditch Star, told his story of his descent into alcoholism. At first I had been too weak to actually attend rehab so after six weeks of bed rest and fifteen pounds later, they deemed me ready to go to a full-time rehab clinic for two weeks. Basically I was here to straighten out; to realize that I wasn't so fucked up and to get back on track and focus on finding healthier releases for my frustrations with life. Today was more of an orientation day. We arrived this morning and were put into small groups of people with all kinds of problems.

The purpose was to realize that everyone had problems of all different natures and to also realize that we can support each other through the good times and the bad, or at least that's what Lorne said. For the remaining two weeks, I would mostly be with people that had eating disorders as well.

Gosh, that was so hard for me to say, that I had a disorder, that I had a problem. I had always been viewed as perfect, flawless. The beautiful, rich, smart, talented, _perfect_ daughter of the most famous wizard to ever live.

It was so hard when my family first came to see me. Before I knew it, my whole story just came pouring out, the starvation, the alcohol, the cocaine, the desperation for perfection. I didn't plan it, but it happened. And they weren't angry or anything. I cried and cried till it felt like my narrow chest would split from my wracking sobs. But my father just held me. "Stop saying your sorry princess" the only words he said to me other than I Love You.

In the West River Atrium, the building of the center where my meetings took place there were no mirrors or scales. We had group discussions and during our free time we had many different creative outlets. I rediscovered ballet at Doillon. They had a large airy empty dance studio on the third floor of my dorm. Often I would go up there by myself or with one of the many other ballerinas, former and professional, and we'd dance and dance. We'd pirouette to our favorite Tchaikovsky and Vivaldi without the criticism of teachers and parents and other girls. More than that though, I feel free and alive and afterwards I go to the art studio and draw and design and I realize why I do the things that I do again and why I love fashion and why my life just revolves around it.

Being able to get away from the media and all of that pressure, it's a release. Maybe what I needed more than anything was really a vacation, and I don't mean the kind that I had been supposedly taking where the paparazzi constantly followed and I partyed constantly without sleep.

Rehab wasn't all great though. In my group there was a Dutch girl by the name of Ekaterina Van der Houtzen, the daughter of a big time real estate developer, she really seemed to hate me. About a week into rehab, during a group discussion, we all sat around talking about what influenced our personal body image. She stood up and came right up to me.

"It was you!" she yelled, "All those pictures, the clothes, everything, all the boys, all they talk about is how much they want you. Because you-you have everything, you have it all, your PERFECT! Well you know what; nobody told me that I wasn't supposed to be that perfect. Nobody told me that nobody's that perfect. Not even YOU!"

And what do you say to that really? It's disturbing and strange to say the least that just my image had that kind of power over others.

Finally at the end of the two weeks, and fifteen pounds later, I was able to head home. I still needed to gain weight and I was still required to visit the doctor twice a week. It was hard to find out what the anorexia and bulimia had done to my body. I couldn't have any really acidic foods because all of my throwing up had damaged my esophagus. I had to take all kinds of calcium supplements because my bones had become so frail.

But the most devastating part of all was that the doctors weren't sure if was going to be able to have children. My period had stopped for too long. That for me was so hard to take I mean, I've always wanted children. Lots of children, a house full of family and laughter and little babies and noise and just everything that I grew up in. It wasn't fair.

* * *

Please R&R


	13. It doesn't have to mean anything

**I don't own Harry Potter**

Thanks again to all my reviewers

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XIII**

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Go away I'm working…naked" I called out to whoever was knocking on the door of my design studio, a spare bedroom in mine and Colton's flat.

"That's supposed to keep me away" came the smooth baritone of Colton's voice.

"Sorry, I thought you were my mum or brothers or something. They just won't stop pestering me" I said getting up from my sketching table and opening the door.

"I don't know what's worse. The fact that you thought I was Aunt Ginny or that your not actually naked" he said casually sitting down on the soft leather chaise lounge.

"Very funny, like you weren't looking while I was in the shower this morning." I said my white flippy tennis skirt riding up over my long legs as I lay down on top of him so that my head rested against his soft dark denim-laden legs.

"Don't flatter yourself. Anyway, I have to go to this business party thing tomorrow night. Do you want to go?"

"What, are all your girlfriends at New York Fashion Week?" I quipped sarcastically

"It just so happens, that I invited you because you've been working too hard lately on your show for Paris Fashion Week"

"Ok, fine I'll go" I said sighing "Besides I owe you one or two or…ten" I sat up and turned to face him. I felt like I still hadn't really apologized for being so crazy in the past few months.

"Hey, I've already told you, you don't owe me anything, all I want is your happiness" he said kissing me on the cheek tenderly.

He pulls back slowly and with our faces still practically touching I can't help myself; I lean into him inhaling his clean woodsy scent and kiss him deeply without a second thought.

When I pull back a few seconds later I try to find some expression in those gleaming amber eyes but before I even get the chance he slips one hand into my silky red locks and pulls me closer to him for another kiss. This time it's not so polite, less of a thank you and more of an "I want you", as lame as that sounds. I feel something I haven't felt in a long time as we kiss. A true unadulterated connection.

I reach for the buttons on his shirt but he pulls my hands away.

"We can't" he whispers though not very convincingly

I ignore him and make toward his shirt again. I know him so well. I know he wants me. I can see it in his eyes and in the ways his hands are tensed clutching each of his wrists as if handcuffing himself.

"Charlotte" he whispers against my lips, a mix of desire and protest in his voice. His shirt falls away and my hands slide down to his waist and undo the buttons of his jeans. But, then he pulls away again.

"Charlotte, don't please, I just don't" he says but he sounds as if he's struggling to breath

"I'm sorry, I just thought-"I say a little taken aback. Nobody had ever turned me down like that before.

"No, I, I do. Oh Merlin, I do, but look maybe"

"Its okay, its' fine I get it"

"Maybe you should get some rest or something, take a nap, you've been working all day" he says getting up to leave. I pick up his shirt and as I hand it to him, I know that I just want him near me right now.

"Wait, stay, please, sleep with me. I mean, just stay with me, I don't want you to leave." He grabs the cashmere blanket off the back of the chaise and lies down next to me, the light, soft blanket floating down on top of us. His shirt lays forgotten on the floor.

* * *

"Charlotte, Charlotte, what the fuck?"

I groggily groan and squint against the light of the setting sun. Colton stirs beneath me slightly and I shush him back asleep, before turning to see who called my name. Delilah's standing at the foot of the chaise looking at the two of us completely in shock.

"Oh my god, Charlotte, you didn't-"she gasps, noticing Colton's bare chest and my crooked skirt.

"What- no, we were just, no, we were asleep" I said carefully picking up Colton's arm and sliding out from under his grasp.

"But he's not wearing a shirt"

"I know it looks crazier than it is, we just fell asleep" I said bashfully, I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks.

"I know that look, Charlotte, you can't honestly expect me to believe nothing happened."

"Okay well we sort of kissed, a lot, god he's a good kisser, I mean really no wonder he was always sought after in school." I said trailing off

"Wait what! You guys kissed, just randomly, or have you two been doing a lot more than just living together here in Paris."

"Shh, he's still asleep" I grabbed Delilah's hand and pulled her outside the door, closing it gently behind me.

"Well, tell me, what's up with you two"

"I don't know okay, I mean really, I couldn't explain it, I really felt something there, kind of like Rainier but different too, you know"

"So, are you going to do anything about it?"

"I don't know it only just happened, I mean we didn't have sex or anything, I wanted to, but he- he pulled away. I mean it's understandable, I kind of did just kiss him without a lot of warning, but it seemed like he wanted to, I just-"

"Charlotte, he definitely wanted to, I'm sure of it, but, come on, I don't really think that's it, there must be another reason why he said no, maybe he wants to wait."

"For what, we're not dating, we're not anything, and I mean we made out right, nothing more, I don't know."

"What if he does ask you out? I mean he might now."

"No, we can't not yet anyway"

"So you'll say no?"

"Well, no, yeah, I don't know."

"Charlotte, I don't know what happened with you two, and it's hard to say because he has just as many girls as you have boys, I just don't know, if it was just in the moment, remember that."

"I know, but there was something I could- never mind. So what's up anyway? I mean I know Colton and I are your best friends and everything, but you usually don't travel all the way from London just so we could chat about my love life."

"Oh right, well the whole half naked Colton thing distracted me, but anyway, Maxim and I are going away for a week, he's taking me to Morocco, of all places. It's absolutely gorgeous there, Mum showed me where Dad proposed to her, when we went ages ago while Dad was studying I don't rare magical fungus or something."

My Uncle Neville owned the internationally renowned herbology store Longbottom Botanical's in the hills above Hogsmeade. He had some of the most exotic, and most powerful plants in the world. He always traveled to strange places to find these plants too. Potion masters and garden experts came from all over the world to explore the vast greenhouse of striking foliage.

"Well that sounds like fun. You guys haven't had a lot of alone time lately, with him going all international and stuff"

"Yeah, but it's really weird a couple of days ago, my mum gave me all these things to ward off Wamboddles and Moroccan Friskers, don't ask, but I didn't know about the trip till yesterday."

I smiled to myself. Finally! I knew exactly was gong to happen during Maxim and Delilah's little Moroccan Adventure. It was in fact the thing Delilah's been dreaming about since they became well Maxim&Delilah.

"Well, before you leave I got to give you something." I snuck back into my studio, where Colton was still soundly asleep. Honestly that boy could sleep through anything!

I carefully slip off a light pink silk halter dress off a mannequin. I had just finished the garment and still had all of the patterns so it wasn't a big deal to make a new one. I just knew it would look sensational on Delilah.

"Wow that's gorgeous" Delilah said upon seeing the dress. Short and flowing with a deep low-cut back and delicate beading along the waist, it really was perfect for her and her petite stature.

"Take it, it's yours, just promise me you'll wear it in Morocco. Seriously, Maxim will drop dead when he sees you in it."

"Oh are you sure, it must have taken hours."

"It wasn't that bad, that's why I have a team of assistants, besides, you'll need it next week I promise you."

* * *

"Hey sleepyhead, your woke just in time for dinner, well sort of" I said as Colton finally appeared frommy studio and walked into the kitchen

"What, wait what time is it?" he said rubbing his amber eyes. His golden brown hair is tousled adorably and he still didn't have a shirt on.

"Like seven, honestly in the time you were asleep, I choreographed and picked the soundtrack for my show in a couple of weeks, and sent out the resort collection to more than a hundred stores all over the world. Oh, and before that Delilah came over."

"Dee was here. What'd she say?"

"Oh, just that her and Maxim are finally engaged"

"What!" he yelped in surprise

"Well, okay sort of, like in a week they will be"

"So he told her that in a week he's going to propose?" he said arching an eyebrow and sitting down at the kitchen table

"No, he's taking her to Morocco"

"And that means what-"

"Well, he knows she loves it there. Plus, her parents knew before she did which meant that he obviously asked for her hand in marriage first, and Uncle Neville proposed to Aunt Luna there"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense"

"So, do you want canned soup, packaged soup or soup in a little carton thing for dinner?"

"Soup? I went shopping yesterday you know."

"Well, yeah but that's the only thing I know how to make"

"Here, let me help you. How about pasta? That's easy."

"Umm yeah, but do you remember the last time I tried to make toast"

"I told you, I'll help you."

"Uhh, fine"

Colton took out a box of pasta as well as a jar of marinara and a big black pot.

"Ok, now first fill the pot with water" I went to the sink and turned on the faucet so that the pot filled halfway.

"Now put it on the stove" I placed the pot on a burner.

"Now turn the stove on"

"Right, okay umm"

"This one" he said taking my hand and placing it on the stove knob. We turned it on together and he moved close behind me to grab the spaghetti box with his other hand. The closeness, not to mention his shirtless-ness sped up my heart beat and I wanted to kiss him, like I had before. But I knew that if anything was going to happen, he had to make the first move.

He opened the pasta box and poured it in the now boiling water reaching around me, practically hugging me and I felt so comfortable in his arm. When he pulled back to grab a spoon, I felt an instant pang of loss, and I had more than an inkling that he knew exactly what he was doing to me. I didn't know why I was so attracted to him lately, I admit that ever since I left Doillon I had been unusually horny, but still. This was Colton; we had practically taken baths together as little kids.

"Now take the spoon, and stir" he whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine and placing the spoon in my hand and guiding it, swirling around the pasta.

"You know how I said we couldn't, before" he said softly turning me around so I was looking at him, our bodies touching, faces inches apart, "well, I was scared, I don't like wanting you, but I can't help it, so what do we do?"

"The only thing we can" I said reaching up and kissing him square on the mouth and before I knew it, I was being carried into his bedroom and just seconds later thrown on the bed. We kissed fiercely, adrenaline and desire coursing through our veins. Who knew if it was just tonight? Who knew if it was forever? This could have been anything.

He made me scream and moan and plead for more. I gasped and cried out in pleasure, being with him was so new and different and strange, but it couldn't have felt more natural.

When it was over, I didn't know what to think. We sat in his bed naked, his arm around me our clothes strewn around the room. We were silent for a long time and I could feel his heartbeat on my neck, our pulses mixing together, till they were one.

"So what does this mean?" He said after a long while

"I don't know, I mean you know I love you, you're my best friend, and maybe, maybe we could just be together like this sometimes. Kiss and hug and _be together_ it doesn't have to mean anything" I said slowly, not really sure if I was making sense, but just saying things.

"Yeah it'll be completely harmless; no one will have to know"

"Yeah- well, except for Delilah, she kind of already knows"

"She's Dee, one of us would have told her anyway."

"This is definitely one of the strangest conversations I've ever had"

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Please R&R


	14. Engagements, Arrangements, Announcements

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XIV**

Ding Ding Ding

"I'd like to say a few words in honor of Maxim and Delilah's engagement." Said my father standing up and clinking his champagne glass with a spoon.

"Now I've known Delilah Daisy Longbottom since she was about a day old and Neville called on the floo at two in the morning to announce Luna had just given birth to their first and only daughter. She was a beautiful baby all big blue eyes and bright blond hair and little rosy cheeks. She looked like a doll. At the time Maxim was only four years old. Ginny and I brought Caliber and Jude and him to the hospital with us. The other boys looked on with out much interest. Cal asked if this is what was going to pop out of Mommy soon and Jude wandered off to play with Colton, and Delilah's brother Sebastian, and all of the Weasley children. But it was really love at first for Maxim who took one look at Delilah and ran to me and said 'Daddy, Daddy is that an angel?' Well, son, it took fifteen more years to realize that she could be your angel and another four years to finally propose. I only hope that now, together, you can find eternal heaven. To the soon-to-be bride and groom Delilah and Maxim"

We all raised our glasses as my Dad finished his speech. My mom had tears of joy running down her face. Finally one of her children was getting married.

"Congratulations!" I squealed hugging Delilah. We jumped up and down excitedly and screamed happily.

"O Merlin do you _have_ to do that?" Colton asked sliding an arm around my waist after giving Delilah a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. Delilah gave me a suggestive glance at the gesture but I just rolled my eyes.

I looked around the ballroom of the Crown Royal hotel in London, the site of Maxim and Delilah's Engagement party. The room was filled to maximum capacity with a million redheads, all the Potters, and Delilah's brothers as well family friends like the Lupins danced and talked joyously. It felt so good to be around family it never seemed like we were all in one place anymore.

"Colton, here you are, Cal is looking for you" said Colton's sixteen year old sister Jemina walking towards the three of us champagne glass in hand.

"Where is he?"

" Do you even have to ask, he's at the bar hitting on the barmaids" I said pointing to where he sat with a couple of giggling, girls in rather short tight work uniforms on his lap.

"I'll be back" Colton sighed squeezing my hand affectionately before walking away.

"Oh your brother is going to be _so_ mad at me." Jemina said smiling

"Wait, what do you mean? Cal wasn't looking for Colton?" Delilah said just as confused as I was.

"No, of course not, I just wanted to see if Colton would actually leave Charlotte's side" she smirked. Delilah just laughed as I rolled my eyes _again_

"You guys please there's nothing going on between us" I said

"Yeah, and Cal's a virgin" Jemina said sarcastically

"Charlotte, come on don't lie to us. What's really going on between you two?" Delilah begged

"I told you before Dee, we have an arrangement that's all, it just sex nothing more, and yeah it's damn good sex-"

"Ok, well this is the part where I leave the conversation, good luck with my brother, um I'm going to go dance or something" Jemina said cutting me off and making her way to the dance floor.

"Look, I know you think that that's all you guys are doing but I mean really. Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not?" Delilah said earnestly

"Coming from the girl who's only slept with two different guys in her life that makes complete sense, but, that's because you've always had a true love. All I've got is Colton… right now anyway"

"Okay so you haven't found the right guy yet, but it could be Colton, give it a chance, because otherwise…well face it, Colton is just your fuck buddy"

"How eloquently put, thank you"

Delilah opened her mouth to say something, but Colton came back and a second later Maxim swept Dee away to dance.

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I sit in my design studio with dozens of sketches littering the floor amidst a sea of white silk and lace. Dee had asked me to design her wedding dress and all the bridesmaids gowns and even though the wedding wasn't for another seven months I wanted to start right away. The design I had in mind would probably take about a couple of weeks to complete and the bridesmaids' dresses about another six weeks.

I had thought a lot about what Dee had said in regards to Colton. I still wasn't completely convinced that Colton was the one. But seeing Dee and Max and how happy they were now that they were getting married, I knew that no matter how I felt about love I wanted that for myself too.

When I think about it now, had I decided to marry Rainier, I'm sure we would have been just as happy as Max and Dee. I know, I mean in my heart I just truly know, that we could have made it forever together. But things happen for a reason and maybe years from now if it was meant to be, it will be.

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"And that was 'Black & White' by The Faux Pas. It's an awesome song, it just recently shot to number one on the wizarding wireless charts. And they've also been nominated for three Ace Awards including best new group, best album, and best song." Came over the wireless I was listening to while sorting through color palettes.

"OH MY GOD" I shrieked and dropped everything as I heard the announcement. I ran over to the fireplace and threw in some floo powder.

"Penthouse C Phoenix Court" I yelled hoping Jude would be home.

"Jude! Jude! Where are you?" I yelled

"Holy fucking hell Charlotte what's wrong!" he said running into the living room of his ultra modern London flat.

"Jude how come you didn't tell me I just heard your number one! And three Ace nominations! That's, that's just fabulous!" I said hugging him jumping up and down.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, I just got the letter from the Ace Academy this morning. Speaking of which I have a surprise for you. You're probably going to get hundreds of calls between now and then to make dresses for all the celebrities invited, but make sure you save a design for yourself because you're invited too."

"Me!" I exclaimed

"Yeah, you, Cal, Max, Mum, Dad, Tierney, Dane, we get to invite our families so I'm counting on you to make us look great"

"Well, yeah of course, oh my god this is so exciting" I said hugging Jude tightly.

"Oh, can you help Calista find a dress too. I'm going to ask her to be my date."

"Calista Carson, isn't that the pretty brunette you dated in your seventh year?"

"Yeah, she's working for Hearsay magazine these days. I saw her at a label party and we kind of-"

"Jumped each others' bones in the bathroom"

"No, actually we ditched the party and went to a little café"

"And read beat poetry to each other over glasses of red wine." I said making fun of his tendency to be overly romantic. Jude is kind of a funny guy. A perfect gentleman and a sort of mysterious type. At Hogwarts he was always shy and quiet preferring to let Caliber and Maxim take center stage. He always had a little entourage though. All the girls were attracted to him because of his deep chestnut hair, it was a gorgeous natural red-brown color, and the Potter eyes. He would sit in the corner of the common room playing his guitar as the girls all watched him. It made him reluctantly popular. Sure, he likes attention but only if he feels he's getting it for being a true artist.

That's why this Ace award nomination was such a big deal, he was signed with a small indie label and him and the boys refused to sign with anything mainstream to preserve their artistic integrity.

So, who are you going to bring as your date? You know he needs to be Potter men approved first" Jude teased

"Umm, well I guess I should bring…I don't know"

"How about Colton? You guys looked pretty cozy at Maxim and Delilah's party"

"Oh no, not you too Jude"

"What? It was just a suggestion"

"Yeah, well trust me your not the first to suggest such a thing"

"Was it Mum?"

"Mum, Dad, Dee, Jemina, Grandmum, I swear I even saw Tierney give us a look when we were dancing"

"She's eight she doesn't give looks yet, well there's the: you'll pay if you touch my pink teddy bear look. But it's not particularly romance insinuating"

"Shut up."

"Fine, I'll call on you with all the details okay"

"Okay, I'm so proud of you Jude, I'll see you soon." I said giving him one last hug before leaving.


	15. Just had to know

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Sick with the flu, so I figured I might as well write. Thanks so much to my reviewers and readers. I don't want to seem like a pain but considering the number of hits this story gets I really would appreciate some more reviews. They really are helpful to the author as all of you who are writers as well know. So Please. Sorry by the way for the slow update last chapter I was in a play over the weekend and the preparations for the play were crazy.

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**Confessions of a Potter Princess XV**

"And the Ace Award for album of the year goes to….Moi Non Plus by The Faux Pas"

"Woo! Congratulations! Oh my god! No fucking way!" our section of seats exploded into cheers. We jump up into our seats and scream and cheer as my brother and his band mates make their way up onto the stage.

"Wow, this is incredible," said the lead guitarist and my brother's best friend John Gray accepting the award, he knew just as well as we all did, my brother unless he was singing wasn't going to say anything in front of all these people.

"We would first off like to thank our families and friends for supporting us and for always putting up with our music even when we played horribly in the basement of Potter Manor. We want to thank everyone at our label especially Tony DiPietro, and of course our fans who without you we never could have made it this far. Thank you. Now to the after-party!"

* * *

We walked into Carnivale where my brother was hosting the biggest after party of the night. Everyone cheered like crazy when they saw Jude and the band who were immediately swarmed by photographers and famous fans. Colton and I talked and mingled with a few people and then I left him talking about quidditch with Cal while I went over to talk with some other friends. I had spotted Lana earlier and she told me she would be at Max's but I had yet to find her.

I walk through the crowded club and say hi to a few people along the way. I decide to go check upstairs and I gather the train of my long lilac dress. I turn around and-

"Oh sorry miss"

"No, I'm sorry, excuse me" I said apologetically to the man I just bumped into

"Wait, your Charlotte Potter, right? I'm Ha-"

"Hart Barron, I know who you are. You're the lead singer and infamous bad boy of Red English." I said more flirtatiously than I intended

"Ah, yes and you're the infamous party girl fashion designer and model daughter of Harry Potter", replied the roguishly handsome Hart. He's taller than he looks in pictures; tall, dark and handsome, with the perfect amount of five o'clock shadow on his strong jaw line and gorgeous piercing blue eyes.

"Oh bugger!" he exclaimed suddenly. I just raised an eyebrow.

"See I've got this little problem. I have a stalker." He explained glancing across the club where a skinny blonde girl is searching desperately around the room for something, which I'm guessing is Hart.

"Aha, any death coercions, marriage proposals?" I asked

"Well, no"

"It doesn't sound life-threatening"

"But I need a cover. I need for you to pretend we're having a scintillating conversation, and you are wildly entertained." We both laughed aloud at this.

"I know it's hard"

"I'll improvise" I smiled suddenly forgetting all about Lana.

"So it's too bad your brother's band didn't win them all, but album of the year, that's incredible for a debut" he said

"As I recall, your band did the same thing almost a decade ago." I responded nonchalantly

"Are you trying to make me feel old?"

I shrugged "How old are you anyway?"

"Forty. Does it bother you?" he asked

"No, but I know something that's going to bother you in a minute" I said watching the blonde girl fight her way through the throngs of people in our direction.

"Bloody hell, I can't get rid of her" Hart said his face suddenly becoming distraught

"I know how to escape-" I offered

"-Well then by all means, c'mon let's go woman, go, go, go!" and I grabbed his hand and we ran up the stairs, dashed into the men's room, and out an emergency exit door and onto a fire escape.

As soon as we burst out into the cool march air we immediately collapsed into laughter.

"Geez Red I think you nearly tore off my arm and I relaly don't think I want to know why you knew that was there"

"Well, aren't you even going to say thank you. I might have saved your life. Besides, my brother owns this club,I know all it's secrets"

"You're right, thank you" he said taking a seat resting up against the wall. He patted the spot next to him and I sat down beside him.

"Want one?" he asked offering me a cigarette. I took one and put it between my lips as he it lit for me. I couldn't help but notice how cute he was, even though he was older. Fuck he was nearly my father's age.

We sat there smoking in silence for a while.

"You know, you aren't nearly as much of an asshole as everyone says you are." I said to him.

"Well, um thank you." He said looking a little taken aback. "You really aren't as tall as I thought you were"

"Trick of the camera, they always place the lens looking up at me so I look taller in photoshoots." I explained

"Your just as beautiful though" he said. I blushed but didn't respond

"Aren't you married?" I asked suddenly curious as to where his wife was.

"Engaged. Sort of, we've been engaged for nearly six years"

"Don't tell me Mr. Hart Barron, mister tough guy Hart Barron, known for taking down the paparazzi is scared of walking down the aisle."

"No, I've been married before, but Brenna and I have been closer to breaking up then tying the knot for the past two years"

"So why don't you? Break up, I mean"

"I guess I'm used to just sort of having her around, god that's sounds terrible doesn't it, but she's the mother of my children"

"You have children"

"Two, she's not actually the mother of one but my daughter's mom doesn't come around much"

"How old are they?"

"Molly's ten and Aiden's four"

"My brother Dane's ten. They're kinda funny at that age don't you think. He'll be eleven in May just in time to get his Hogwarts letter. He thinks he's so grown up"

"Molly's eleven in July, mayb they'll be friends. So I take it you don't have children then?" he asked

"No, not yet" I said

"Would you like some?"

"Yes, but not today." I said laughing. He laughed too. Hart was so easy to talk too. Plus, he was older, different form any guy I've ever dated, and kind of mysterious. Every time he talked I couldn't help but want to know more about him. But my cigarette was done.

He offered me his hand and we both stood up and dusted ourselves off.

"When can I see you again?" he asked

"How about tomorrow? I'm in town for awhile staying at my friend Delilah's place. It's Morningsong Manor just outside Hogsmeade"

"Okay, tomorrow." He said. I was about to walk back inside when I felt him grab my hand. He turned me towards him and kissed me. I felt a crazy electric current run up and down my whole body. I was so surprised by the kiss thatit was over before I even got a chance to react.

"Sorry, but I just had to know" he said. I smiled and blushed before walking back into the club and heading home.


	16. Questions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**Thanks so much to my reviewers please R&R**

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**Confessions of a Potter Princess XVI**

**February**

"So I was thinking this lace we could cut into a flower shape and have it as a lace overlay on the skirt" I said holding up an intricate white lace and gesturing to the final sketch of the wedding dress I'm making for Delilah. The next day the two of us sit on the bed in the guest bedroom I'm using while staying with Maxim and Delilah at their new home Morningsong Manor. She had woken me early that morning and we were both in our pajamas still. It's been two months since their engagement party and with Jude's nomination and the awards show last night time had gotten away from me and the orders from my recent fall/winter show were pouring in, so I needed to get started on the dresses for the wedding party.

"That's gorgeous are they going to be on the bodice too or are we going to go with the pearls" Dee said fingering the delicate fabric

"The pearls for sure, and we can put them on this ribbon…if I can find it" I said standing up and walking over to a blue Lambertson Treux leather traveling case and looking through my different spools of ribbon.

"Hmmm, hmm, hmmm, la dee da, hmm, hmm" I sang to myself quietly while searching through the silk ribbons.

"Are you humming?" Dee said

"What?" I said whipping around to face her, I could already feel my cheeks burning up at being caught.

"You were! You were humming. Ooo why? Or should I say who?" Dee said teasingly.

"I wasn't humming." I insisted "I was simply-" I trailed off waving my hand in the air

"Mm hmm, and what may I ask has you so happy this morning"

"Nothing, I'm just so excited about your wedding" I said knowing that would get her off topic.

"Oh I know isn't it marvelous, I mean Maxim and I finally getting married and us we're finally going to be sisters. I've always wanted a sister. Can you just imagine? I'm going to be Mrs. Delilah Potter."

"Don't you mean Mrs. Delilah Marigold Potter?" I snickered using her dreaded middle name. That's what you get when Luna Lovegood Longbottom is your mother though. I loved Aunt Luna, but she's a little crazy sometimes she reminds of those muggle hippies from the sixties except you know without the drugs.

"At least I'll be a missus somebody."

"Fine truce, now what about this orchid color for the bridesmaids gowns. I know purple is your favorite color and it would look fabulous because you have orchids in all the bouquets."

"Yea okay but I think this shades a little dark how about we go a shade lighter."

I wrote a note on the sketches to remind myself to get a fabric dyed in a light orchid. There's a tap on the window and Dee gets up to let in the owl fluttering outside in the cold winter air.

"It's for you" she said handing me the letter.

_C_

_Lunch at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade at one._

_H _

That was all it said. I looked at the clock on the nightstand and I took off the big t shirt I had slept in and pulled on a pair of jeans and a Kelly green cardigan and grabbed my black and white herringbone coat out of the guest armoire. "Sorry it seems I have an impromptu lunch meeting in half an hour at the Three Broomsticks. Some couture client in desperate need of a gown." I said pulling my long red hair out of its bun so it fell on my shoulders in messy waves. I slipped on my favorite black leather boots and slicked my full pink lips with a little berry lip stain. "I promise I won't be long"

"Take all the time you need the decorator I hired is going to be here in a bit anyway." Delilah said.

I didn't know why I didn't tell her about Hart. I told her everything, she's my best friend, but I guess I still I wasn't sure about him.

I walk down the hill from Morningsong Manor into Hogsmeade. It's snowing lightly outside and the village looks absolutely beautiful. I walk into the warm welcoming restaurant and spot Hart sitting at a table in the back alone.

"So you showed. I wasn't entirely sure you would." He said sipping what looked like mulled mead.

"Yeah, I couldn't just let you get away with kissing me and have that be it" I said taking off my coat and sitting down.

"Can I get you anything Miss Potter, butterbeer, cream soda?" asked a waitress.

"Just black tea with honey please" I responded. She walked away to fill my order.

"Sort of bittersweet I see" Hart said

"Something like I that. Does this make you intoxicating?" I joked referring to his drink of choice.

"I prefer the term insatiable"

"Well aren't you self-assured"

"You know I tell myself that everyday" We both laughed at this. He had a sort of raspy laugh, deep and yet quiet. He was the perfect example of why you couldn't judge a book by its cover.

I had heard about him and his reputation before, he was a tabloid favorite. A bad boy, the kind of boy you never brought home to your mother. Known for being arrogant and a into the whole sex, drug and rock and roll thing he was probably exactly what I didn't need. But to tell the truth, I don't care. There was something about him.

"I was thinking about you this morning. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we met last night" he said plainly placing two cigarettes between his lips. Most guys would say something like this to be charming, but I don't think he tried to charm anyone.

He lit both the cigarettes and handed one to me. I could feel him watching me as I puffed on my cigarette and blew a stream of smoke into the air above our heads. I bit my lip and ran my free hand through my wavy red locks nervously not knowing what to say. He made the girl who had been taught to always say the right thing at the right time absolutely speechless. The waitress came back and placed my tea in front of me but I didn't touch it.

"Does your fiancé know you're here?" I asked finally as the silence was becoming unbearable.

He laughed "Is that what you're so worried about? I told her I was going out if that's what you mean."

"Oh Merlin I shouldn't be here you're practically married. You're a father. Fuck your only five years younger than my father." I blurted out suddenly. I put my cigarette back into my mouth to keep from saying something else.

"I was under the pretense that it didn't bother you"

"It's not really an issue. I just feel a little guilty. I mean whether you believe in it or not you made a promise, a commitment to a girl and she, she has a ring on her finger that says you're going to keep that promise"

"We haven't done anything to be ashamed of" he said frankly, but he crossed and then uncrossed his legs and I knew I was making him nervous as well, "I mean I would never purposely hurt Brenna. That was never my intention when we met last night. Can you help it though? You feel it too, whatever this is, this whole connection, you wouldn't be here if you didn't. You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't."

It was mostly true what he was saying. It was more me than anything. I mean as much as I was intrigued by Hart, as much I wanted to be around him, I couldn't help but be a little scared of what I was doing.

He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it gently without meaning too. I looked at my slender pale hand in his broad guitar calloused hand. His crisp white long sleeved collared shirt had been rolled up and I could see his bare forearm where faint track marks exposed a dark secret.

"It's been a little over ten years" he said following my gaze.

"Do you mind if ask what made you quit?"

"I was already into drugs but, this girl I was seeing, well not even that, she was more of just a groupie, but anyway this girl Penny, she got pregnant. I started using even more, just because I didn't know what else to do. She miscarried three months later. She had used a lot before the pregnancy and the drugs had messed her up. We broke up and the band started getting big, but I got worse again before I got better. I met this other girl Mandy a year later. We were serious for awhile, but I was still using. She got pregnant five months later and I knew that I had to get my act together if I was going to be a good father. I couldn't make the same mistake twice. At first it was hard, but once she had Molly, once I held her in my arms for the first time it got easier and I haven't used since." He said, an obvious glow in his eyes reflecting the love he had for his children. It was so sincere, so desperately vulnerable, so unlike the way he was supposed to be.

"Was that the one you were married to?"

"Mandy? Yeah we tried it because we figured that's what your supposed to do when you have a baby, or well before you have a baby, I just tend to do that backwards." He said smiling a little bitterly. We were quiet again for a long time, but it wasn't that strange uncomfortable quiet.

I bit my lip again without realizing it and intertwined our fingers.

"Don't do that!"

"What?" I said pulling my hand back, light it had been burned

I ran my hand through my hair and bit my lip subconsciously.

"Will you stop it!"

"Stop what?" I asked exasperated tossing my hair over right shoulder

"Stop that and that right there" he said pointing to my mouth "Just stop it"

"What are you talking about?" I asked not getting what this was all about. He was really being ridiculous.

"Come here" he said gruffly pulling me towards him in a kiss. Our lips met and I swear I felt it all the way down to my toes. I thought that I would feel immediately guilty if I kissed him again. But, now that it was happening I couldn't really think at all.

"You made me do it" he said accusingly, when we finally broke apart "You and that stupid irresistible lip thing. And your hair, don't touch your hair your driving me crazy"

"I should go" I whispered to him leaning in until our faces were mere centimeters apart

"Why?" he whispered back

"I'm scared of what might happen if I stay"

"You don't trust me"

"I don't trust me" I said softly closing the miniscule gap between us and kissing his cheek.

I stood up and slipped my coat back on.

"Tomorrow night at the café at the Crown Royal at seven" he called to my back as I started to walk away. I smiled to myself but just kept walking.

* * *

"I'm back!" I called out as I walked into the grand entrance of Morningsong Manor. Morningsong Manor is a grand chateau style house with eleven bedrooms and a separate guest house on the acres of gated property. The house is ancient and full of charm but Maxim and Delilah had only moved from their Diagon Alley flat a month ago and the place still didn't have much furniture

"Oh merlin can't you at least tie a scarf on the door handle or something!" I yelled as I walked into the vast living room where Dee and Maxim were in the process of removing each others shirts while kissing on the bare crimson carpeted floor. They immediately hastened to straighten themselves out, catching their breath smoothing out their clothing.

"Hey charlotte" Maxim said to me "Thanks for ruining my lunch hour"

I rolled my eyes. "Nice to see you too. I thought you said the decorator was going to be here?"

"Oh he is, or well was. He had to go pick up the sketches or something at his office. He accidentally brought along the plans for a different home" Delilah said fixing her hair.

"Right, well, anyway…I'll let you two finish up in here. I'm just going to go"

"Oh wait. How was your lunch meeting? Who was it with again?" Dee asked innocently enough

"Um, just a, just a couture client, she needs a gown for next weekend." I said, my face however was heating up. I also couldn't help but smile at the thought of Hart. We hadn't known each other long but I felt dizzy just thinking about him. Dee just pulled a "yeah-right" face knowing I was lying. I smiled even wider then glanced at Maxim.

"All right, all right I can see when I'm not wanted. I have a meeting with Lee Jordan in half an hour anyway. See you girls tonight" Max said grabbing his coat and heading out the door.

"Client my ass, you were with the hummer weren't you?" Dee said excitedly once Max was gone

"The hummer? Yeah I guess if that's what you want to call him" I said avoiding her gaze as I walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat with Delilah following.

"Well, hello, who is this guy?" She asked as I grab an apple out of a fruit basket lying on the counter.

"I don't know yet. I can't quite figure him out" I said truthfully smiling sheepishly to myself.

"Didn't you just eat lunch?"

"Well, no we never got around to eating…no nothing like that" I said noticing her bewildered expression "I swear on Dumbledore's grave we were just talking, with maybe a little bit of kissing"

"Are you going to tell me who he is?"

"Not yet, I'm seeing him again tomorrow night. I need to be sure about a few things first."

"Miss Delilah, I'm sorry for the delay I have the interior design sketches with me now!" called out a male voice of what I assumed to be the decorator.

"Oh shit, he's back already. I hope whoever he is works out for you." And with that she went to go pick fabric swatches for the new parlor curtains.

I sat up on the old granite kitchen countertop. The stone is cold against jean-clad legs and as I take a bite of my apple my thoughts wander of course to Hart. I wonder what he is doing right now. Is he still at the Three Broomsticks? Is he in the studio recording a new album or writing a song? Is he at home playing with his kids? Is he spending time with his fiancé? What is it that he wants from me? What am I to him?

I don't know if I trust him, I don't even know if I really like him all that much to tell the truth, but I certainly lust for him. Right now, after spending only maybe a total of four hours with him over the past two days I knew I was too far in it to not give him a chance.


	17. Headlines

Hi, I know this update has been so slow, but now I'm en route to Sun Valley for spring break and I finally have time to update. Dance has been particularly insane lately and with only a month to AP tests, my little extra time has been spent with my boyfriend or other friends. I don't want to seem annoying, but last chapter got well over two hundred hits and oply one review, it's disheartening to say the least. so please Read and Review, please.

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**Confessions of a Potter Princess XVII**

I sit in Hart's dressing room backstage tapping my foot along to the muffled music . Red English was just finishing up their last few songs and I was waiting for Hart backstage.

After releasing their sixth album two weeks ago, it had shot straight to the top. Number one on the billboard charts overtaking Jude's album that had been number one for thirteen straight weeks. It was fabulous, the band hadn't been this big sinc they were i their twenties. but it also meant that Hart was the tabloid's favorite rebel once again. Everywhere he went cameras followed.

Then of course there was the breakup.After six years together, what had torn Brenna Appleton and Hart Barron, England's favorite couple, apart? I told myself constantly that it wasn't me. That they had had problems for a while now. That I was merely a catalyst in the breakup. Still, pictures of us together had appeared everywhere. They showed the two of us having drinks, or going out to eat, or laughing and and shopping. They were completely innocent pictures, as we tried to keep things purely platonic in public.

They were after all the only evdience of a real relationship, as I have yet to introduce him to my family or Dee and Colton. Though Jude already knows him through work. They have the same producer and Hart is guest guitarring on The Faux Pas' newest album. I think that it was in fact because of Jude that I hadn't gotten too much shit from everyone. They all knew that him and Jude worked toegether and if he was some crazy pyscho, trust me all my brother's would have taken care of it by now. Colton was in Paris, and Dee knowing who the "hummer" was decided that if he made m ehappy, well she'd trust that and leave me alone. Besides, he's a rock star, she said, now tell me who doesn't want a rockstar.

As of now, our friend status couldn't be questioned. I mean the two of us insisted to the tabloids that we were only friends. Not to mention, we were never seen holding hands or snogging in public. So far, anyway. We knew we would have to release some sort of statment to the press announcing that were dating, especially as it became incresaingly harder for us to keep our hands to ourselves.

The door opens suddenly and I jump up pulling on the hem of my black shirtdress.

"Oh Milo, it's only you" I sighed with more than a little relief in my voice.

"Charlotte, whatare you doing here? Your lucky Brenna decided to take an 'extended vacation' after last week. She's going crazy enough as it is with all these gossip rags hounding her every move" said Milo Jenkins, Hart's publicist and good friend.

Milo knew the real story of mine and Hart's relationship. He was there the one and only time we ever slipped up. Hart and i had been having drinks at the Chilton hotel bar, where Hart was set to do a press conference and album signing the next morning. Afterwards, the two of had snuck into Hart's room for a quick little rendevous, and hadn't closed the door all the way in our frenzy. Milo had walked right in, and caught us in the act. We were truly lucky it had only been him. Since then, we made sure not to only close doors but to lock them as well.

"Well, I just came to drop off a note for hart about tomorrow's interview with witch Weekly, so I guesss I'll just leave now" he said awkwardly, placing a piece of paper on the vanity counter.

I think he was still embarassed over catching me in my knickers, because he was always a little tense around me. I smiled and he left. I settled back down into the comfy leather armchair, and kicked off my black leather boots, as the last chords of "Yankee Girls" played out. it was soon followed by an eruption of cheers and screams. A minute later the hallway outside was filled with voices and footsteps and the unmistakable giggling of groupies. As soo as hart stepped into the room I jumped into his strong arms, wrapping my ow lithe arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely full on the mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we stumbled over to the vanity. He swiped everything on the counter, and water bottles, and hair gel, and guitar picks clattered to the floor.

"What have I told you about these damn pullover shirts" I breathed out breaking the kiss, as I tugged his soft grey cotton t-shirt over his head. "Yeah, well I hate all these fucking buttons, they take was too fucking long" he muttered against neck, struggling to pull off my black shirtdress.

I kissed him everywhere I could, on the chest, the neck, the lips anywhere I could reach, my hands tangled up in his dark hair.

"There is a god, and he reminded you not to where a bra today" he said as he ravished my bare chest, my dress thrown to the floor.

FLASH CLICK

"Aaah!" I scream jumping off the counter as I see a horde of paparazzi at the door.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Hart yells immediately taking my into his arms and shielding me from the cameras. But they wouldn't stop.

"Hart, how long has this been going on!" FLASH

"Charlotte, did you break up Brenna and Hart!" CLICK

"Hart,is this why things are over between you and Brenna Appleton!" FLASH

"Hart, were you cheating on Brenna with Charlotte!" CLICK

"Milo do something!" I plead as I see him stading near the doorway, trying to figure what all the commotion is about.

"All right everybody out! Security is on their way down!" he yells trying to push them away from the door, but the threat of threee monstrously large men doesn't seem to deter them. Still, topless and with me only i a pair of lacy black knickers Hart carefully reaches down for his shirt and throws it to me, as it doesn't seem that we're getting out of this mess anytime soon. Hart pulls Milo through the doorway, and togetherthey force the door shut and lock it. I immediately take the armchair I wa sitting in earlier and push it up against the door just in case.

"How the fuck did they get down here!" yells Hart

"Look your only option is to just release a statement that the two of you are in early stages of a relationship and thought it would be inappropriate to say something earlier because of the recent breakup bewteen you and Brenna" Milo said, leaning up against the wall, rubbing his temples, "Look I know you have a lot going on right now, because your promoting the new record, but this is going to be a nightmare. Charlotte, I suggest you stay under the radar for a while, they are going to be waiting outside your door to accuse you of all sorts of things"

"Well, I have to go back to Paris in a week anyway for Fashion Week, maybe by the time I get back it will calm down a little" I said

"When do you think we'll be able to get out of here?" Hart asked exasperated

"Not for another half an hour at least, because they need to secure the exit so you guys can leave without being trampled. Anyway, anyone up for gobstones?" Milo said pulling a portable set out of Hart's travel case.

* * *

I walk downstairs to the kitchens of Morningsong Manor, to grab something for breakfast before detailing Delilah's wedding dress. I'm about to take a blueberry muffin, when I see the Daily Prophet and a enormous amount of other letters on the table in the adjoining breakfast nook. Next to it is another note on Dee's favorite purple paper. 

Hi,

Max is in meetings all day. I'd stay away from him for a while. He's not to happy with you right now. I went to go pick up some things for thewedding.You certainly had fun last night.

Dee

"Fuck!" I said as I see the headline Hart and Charlotte's Secret Affair

"Double Fuck!" I said as I saw the picture of us, me topless, with my hands clutched over my chest and Hart trying to turn me away from the cameras.

"Triple, Fucking Fuck!" I yelled as I noticed thatall the hundreds of letter on the table are for me.

I didn't bother to readany of them as I'm sure it is mostly hate mail, but insteadtook them into the livingroom and threw each and every one straight into the fire.

"Charlotte! Charlotte! Princess! Are youhere!" I hear my mum's voice ringo out over the entrance hall.

"Hi mum" I sighed not really wanting to see her right now.

"OhCharlotte" Ginny saidhugging me.

"Mum, I'm fine really. A little embarassed maybe, but fine" I said trying to pull away

"I knew you would be but I just popped in to make sure on my way to a meeting with the Museum of Magically Artistic Endeavors.You know I'm not going to lecture you, but it wouldn't hurt to rethink this whole thing your having with this man. I mean he's so old, but Jude said he was a good guy and that he seemed to really like you and so..."she trailed off sitting down on the newcouch in the sumptuous living room.

I knew she was stalling. I doubt she really cared about what happened too much, since she had been quite the party girl when she was younger.

"Charlotte, do you really think it's appropriate though-"

"Mum what about the no lecture"

"Oh it's not about this Hart Barron. It's just that your getting older. You'll be twenty next month. Do you really think this is the kind of guy you should be spending time with. Are you going to marry him?"

"So that's what this is about. Mum I'm just having fun right now. I know I'm not going to marry him. He doesn't want to marry me either. Besides I'm nineteen. What about Cal and Jude? You don't bother them as much about marraige."

"Yes, butthey're just like their uncles. They don't have enough sense yet to be married. By the time I was your age I was already married and pregnant with Caliber."

"Oh mother" I sighed flopping down on the couch next to her. "I love you mum, but sometimes you exhaust me"

She kissed the top of my head "Just wait till you have kids, you get to torture them too"

"No, don't even start with the kids thing. Oh my God! How did Dad take it!" I said alarmed at the thought of what Harry Potter might say when he found out hisprincessl was dating a man old enough to be her father.

"Let's just say it's a good thing your gonig back to Paris in a couple of days.And yoiur even luckier that he's in Luxembourg for a Quidditch tournament for the next fiver days. I'm joining himthere tomorrow.Don't worry darling, you'll get wrinkles, and pretty soon your modeling contracts will go to shit too" She said standing up and walking out to the entrace hall to leave.

"Bye mum" I said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

"Okay boys, just roll the racks into my studio, it's the second bedroom on the left down that hallway" I said as some of the male models from Paris Fashion week helped move the collection into my flat. I had worked on the collection mostly at Morningsong Manor while staying with Max and Dee.

When I had flooed Colton the day before, he told me he would be working late on a big case, so i didn't expect him to be home despite it being nearly eight at a night on a Sunday.On the coffee table in the living room was a large evelope. I picked it up and saw it had my name on it. Inside was what looked to be the Daily Prophet and a letter covering the first page.

Hey Princess,

Just thought I should let you know, before it became a big media frenzy. Anyway, I don't think he's gong to invite you. I don't know if he'd go through with it if he saw you. See page three.

Cal

Quidditch Superstar to MarryBeautful Fashionista read the headline.

Underneath was a picture of Rainier and the Australian model Alexandra Crossing. Each with a perfect smile on their perfect blond heads. They truly looked the perfect couple. I had heard about them in passing andhad met her a few times throughout various fashion weeks. She was dumber than a pile of rocks, but really sweet, niceand beautiful. The wedding was to take place in only two weeks time.

I didn't know what to make of it. I sat down numbly on the buttery leather chaise lounge, not comprehending a thing around me. The modelssoon left and I think i waved but I can't be sure. After what must have been a couple of hours, I heard Colton walk through thedoor.

"Charlotte! Hey are you back yet!" he yelled closing the doorbehind him. I dropped the letter and the paper and got up to and walked over to Colton in a bit of a daze.

"Hey Princess, are you alright?" he said noticing what i'm sure must have been a strange expression on my face.

Then without a second thought I pushed Colton up against the wall and kissed him. His briefcase fell to the florr litttering the room with a million papers and quills.

"What are you doing?" he asked his voice husky with desire

"What, don't you want to?I said immediately unbuttoning his black dresspants and pulling off his crisp blue oxfordshirt.

He didn't respond, choosing only to pick me up and carry me into his bedroom


	18. The Girls

I want to being by saying I am truly apologize for the numerous misspellings last chapter. I know that it must have been harder to read than ususal, so I'm sorry. I was in a rush, but this time I tried to be more careful. Anyways please **READ AND REVIEW**

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XVIII**

"Hi, yeah, sweetie this whole angst-y, woe-is-me, my life is a big black whole thing isn't working for you" said Lana Taylor as she tried her best to pull the lavender Pratesi sheets off me. I groaned in response and curled up into the fetal position in my bed.

"Eww and apparently not for you complexion, either" she continued taking in my pallid skin after finally managing to remove the sheets, the Romanian handmade lace coverlet, and pull away the fluffy white pillows, with surprising force I might add, away from my body, leaving me lying on the bed in only an old oversized T-shirt of Colton's. It was then I noticed that not only Lana had shown up, but so had Lulu Flowers and Theodora Marriott to come rescues me from my self-pity and despair.

"Come on, Charlotte, we all decided we're going out. Champagne breakfast at the Ritz. What more could a girl ask for? Especially when you wear this hot new Dior dress we bought you this morning. I still can't believe you missed the sample sale. I mean you haven't missed a single sample sale since we were thirteen and finally tall enough to wear designer without looking too ridiculous." exclaimed Theodora, holding a giant Dior bag, one of many, I noticed, scattered around the room.

"We even sent a letter to Delilah. She's joining us after brunch, because the five of us are having a girl's night out!" Lulu said excitedly

"More like a girl's weekend. Theodora, the schedule please" said Lana mock businesslike

"Right, well after brunch we begin with a massage followed by full manicures and pedicures and facials, as well as full makeup at Nerfertiti's" began Theodora

"Have you tried their Mint Julep facial? I absolutely _adore_ it. Five minutes into it, and you'll forget all about that icky ex Rainier and his little blonde twit of a fiancé" chimed in Lulu

"Oh and their Swedish deep tissue massage is absolutely divine" sighed Theodora with a dreamy look on her face.

"What she really means is that the Swedish masseuse is a fantastic shag-" giggled Lana

"-_Anyway_, afterwards, because no girls' day is complete without it. We have a completely compulsive shopping spree. Shop to your little heart's content. Don't ever underestimate the power of retail therapy. There are excellent endorphins to be found in the perfect Louboutin pumps" interrupted a blushing Theodora as if her life wasn't already a never-ending shopping spree.

"Finally, we stop off for dinner at Devereau's which is trés chic right now. Not to mention their Tiramisu is absolutely_ beyond_" gushed Lulu, who was so whippet thin she didn't look as if she had ever seen anything as highly caloric as tiramisu, never mind actually eaten it.

" Then we'll takeover the presidential suite at the Ritz crash there and spend the next day showing off our fabulous selves poolside, where we'll bask in the attention of fabulously wealthy, gorgeous men who can't help falling in love at first sight" finished Lana dramatically placing one hand on her forehead and falling onto the bed next to me.

I smiled at their antics. If anybody could cheer you up it was the three of them, the true princesses of parties and fun. I was reluctant to even get out of bed, but I suddenly started giggling, then a few seconds later I was all out laughing my head off. Soon the three of them joined in, and we were all laughing uncontrollably in the way only girls can laugh with each other.

* * *

After spending the day being thoroughly cleansed, plucked, beautified, and laden with numerous shopping bags, Delilah, Lana, Lulu, Theodora and I had finally arrived dazed and tired, but most glamorously so, at Devereau's a super trendy Parisian restaurant. We sat around the table sipping martinis and chatting about all our purchases.

"Hey wait, isn't that your roomie?" interrupted Lana halfway through Dee's description of her new Zac Posen pants. (Zac does, after all understand a woman's figure like no other)

"Oh, that is Colton isn't it?" exclaimed Theodora, looking pointedly at the left side of the restaurant where sure enough, Colton's unmistakable amber eyes were locked on the leggy blonde sitting next to him. I watched the two of them for a moment. They sit peculiarly, not talking, but merely staring at each other. I wondered if it was because they were so in love all they could do is gaze at each other and I immediately felt my Manhattan slowly start to rise up in my throat.

Just then he turned his head and we made eye contact. I looked away quickly. I hadn't really spoken to him since we slept together two days ago. I hadn't even gotten out of bed except to use the restroom. He was of course too polite not to come over and say hi.

"Colton, hi!" I exclaimed brightly, my most charming smile on my face as he and his pale blonde stick of perfection strode over to us.

"Hi "he said hugging me tightly, "How are you?" he asked sincerely his breath warm and soothing on my cheek.

"I'm great! We just had the most fabulous day" I said twirling my scarlet strands absentmindedly.

He greets everyone else and I see him whisper something conspiratorially to Delilah. She smiles broadly, but when I give her a look she just waves it off.

"So who is this?" asked Lulu gesturing to the gorgeous girl on Colton's arm. She's smiling tightly and looking at all of us with a slightly confused look on her face.

"This is uh…Bjorna Na-, Na-, Na-something" he said. "I don't really know, she's Swedish, her father is a client of mine, and I asked her out. She doesn't speak a lick of English or French though. And I can't exactly speak the language of the Swedes"

So that explains the baffled expressions and staring.

"Well, come on you two, join us. Sure it's a girls' night out, but hey Colton, you're practically one of us anyway" enthusiastically said Dee.

"If you girls don't mind, our night didn't seem to be going anywhere so…" Colton trailed off

"Absolutely, come, sit" I said "I'll be right back, excuse me, I'm going to use the washroom"

"I am totally passionate about your deep tissue massages" I heard Theodora say as I got up and walked away quickly, flipping my long red hair over my shoulder. I grabbed onto the counter and looked at my reflection in the mirror. After spending nearly four hours beautifying, I looked absolutely gorgeous, but inside I was a mess.

What was going on? First, I practically break up a marriage by hooking up with Hart. I was completely enthralled by him; everything about him sent my blood pumping and my heart racing.

But then I cheat on him with Colton.

Colton, who doesn't question it, but just goes with the flow, wonderfully nice, and sweet and always there for me no matter what. Always there to relieve the pain, to make sure I was happy, before ever thinking about himself. Plus, I had known him forever and he always knew how to make laugh even in my darkest moments. I placed one hand on my temple and rubbed gently, trying to alleviate the headache I acquired upon seeing that Swedish girl with Colton.

That was another thing. Why would I care if he hung out with other girls? It never bothered me before when he brought home some beautiful girl, but now just seeing him with this Bjork or Borna or whatever her name was, made me feel all kinds of things.

I've never felt like this before, and I didn't like it one bit. Hadn't we agreed that this was strictly about sex and that was it? We just wanted to avoid the lonely nights not get involved any deeper than that. I had made enough one night mistakes in my life to know what just sex felt like. These extra emotions were definitely not part of that. Hadn't a couple of nights ago been strictly about forgetting Rainier? I gather myself together and decide the only way to deal is to just pretend I don't feel anything. And to get drunk. Really drunk.

I push my shoulders back and raise my chin, trying to make myself feel appear super confident. I slam open the bathroom door.

"Ow! For fuck's sake Charlotte!" I hear a voice cry. I turn around and sure enough it's Colton hunched against the wall holding his now bleeding nose.

"Oh my God! Oh no! Sorry! Oh goodness. I'm so sorry" I yell, jumping with surprise, immediately going over to see if he's alright.

"Holy fuck, you scared me" I said "Come on, let's get you cleaned up" I drag him into the restroom.

"Sit up on the counter, I don't have my wand with me, it's in my purse." I said helping him up onto the finely polished marble countertop. "I'll be right back, and then I can heal you right up"

"No, don't leave me here, in the women's' restroom, alone. Besides you practically killed me." He cried out grabbing my hand, his other hand holding onto his nose.

"Oh Merlin, and people say I'm a drama queen. Fine, do you have your wand? "I asked.

"Yeah it's inside my left pants pocket"

I tentatively slide one hand into his pocket, towards an area of which I was quite familiar with now. But, somehow, it felt different now, in the bright artificial lighting of the bathroom verse the comforting darkness of our bedroom. I am extremely conscious of my movements, completely aware of where exactly I touch Colton. I feel a deep blush creep up my porcelain skin, as I feel his intense gaze upon me. I try to avoid all eye contact, because I feel so inferior all of a sudden. Like this is merely a tantalizing violation of his privacy.

Reaching into his pockets wasn't a big deal, but for some reason my movements were agonizingly slow now. The pockets on his black slacks are deep and I have to search a little to find his wand, my now, oddly sweating, hand creeping along the satin lining. Finally I find the wand and pull it out quickly, trying not to prolong what had become an incredibly uncomfortable, though not altogether unpleasant situation.

"Aah, excuse me but what are you doing?" he asked bewildered as I point the wand directly at his face.

"Do you want me to heal your nose or not? I can make the bleeding stop." I said "Besides in case you forgot, Molly Weasley is my grandmother, and maybe I haven't inherited the Weasley women's cooking skills, but I can heal little accidents like this just as well. Now do you trust me?"

"With my life apparently" he said.

I roll my eyes and brush his golden brown hair from his face, take the wand and with a flick of the wrist say _Physiominus _and his nose immediately stops bleeding.

"What were you doing standing outside the door to the women's restroom anyway? I asked giving back his wand.

"I wanted to talk to you. You seemed a little weird earlier."

"Huh did I? Well, I'm fine I promise." I said shrugging turning away from him, running one hand through my hair, my breathing going ragged.

"Can you look at me and say that? You know I'll be able to tell if you're lying. Your eyes will tell truth even if your mouth won't speak it"

I knew better, I didn't dare look at him now. I'm afraid he might figure "it" out if I do. What that "it" is I don't know. It doesn't make any sense, but he knows me better than I know myself half the time and if I look at him, I'm sure he'll be able to see the truth about something I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face.

"Everyone is waiting for us. We should get back" I said walking out, shutting the door behind me. I lean up against the door for a brief second, trying to calm myself back to normal. I listen to Colton through the door. He curses loudly and I walk briskly back to our table.

"Hey, who needs a smoke?" I ask as I get back to the table.

"I could go for a cig" said Lulu. The two of us grabbed our purses and walked outside into the sweet April air. There truly was nothing like Paris in the springtime. We stood smoking in silence for a long while.

"He's crazy about you, you know" she said out of the blue, tapping ash onto the sidewalk.

"What are you talking about?" I asked laughing slightly

"O God, Charlotte, Colton of course. Maybe he's hooking up with Sweden tonight but he definitely wants her to be you"

"Don't be stupid, he's my best friend"

"I didn't say he wasn't I'm just saying…It's like this: Last summer, when you were hospitalized I kind of got to know Colton a little bit. All of us did. Theodora went to that wizarding school with you and Dee. But, see I have a completely unbiased view of you here, and the way he looked after you. The way he took care of you. I've never seen somebody love someone so much and maybe you can't see it, because that's the way he always looks at you. But I would die for someone to look at me the same way. I know I'm not the expert on love here, but you two, I've never seen anything so natural." She said in response.

It was strange for her to talk about love; she was the female version of Caliber. And rarely ever was she so candid and vulnerable about her feelings.

"Lulu, everybody has somebody, everybody has a true love, but what if that isn't enough. I loved Rainier, so why isn't love enough?"

"Oh Charlotte, I'm the only child from my father's first marriage. It may seem like the naïve child of divorce dream, but I believe my father is still in love with my mother. They were so young and they each had their faults, but every model and actress, every pop star and underage groupie, none of them have given my father that same glow. He's had nine multi-platinum albums all filled with love songs. After my mum and dad divorced when I was ten, I noticed something. Since then, not a single song has been about being happy in love, their all about longing and loss and for my dad songs are the only way he knows how to communicate. I can't tell you why my dad cheats on his wives and girlfriends, but that picture of my mum at seventeen in her wedding gown nearly kills him every time he looks at it. That's why I don't think he's made eye contact with her since she left him; it would literally kill him to look at the real her"

I thought about what she said for in silence. But still it confused me. Maybe Damien Flowers hadn't married for love after Lulu's mother Kate, but he married for something. Was that loneliness, or just rash behavior and the need for rockstar extravagance? And if he loved any of those women, how ever briefly, did he ever think I would rather die right now with the love of my life than live here with the love of the moment? Maybe Rainier and I were really just a year long 'moment'. How was I to know?

After a while I said "Do you think it's possible to have more than one true love in your life?"

"Sure, lots of things are true but I think there's only one love you're meant to be with, one true love you're meant to live with"

"Lulu, the whole world is in love with you" I said taking one last long drag on my cigarette and watching the smoke simmer away in the public ashtray on the sidewalk

"I don't want the whole world, I just want one person to share with me my whole world" she said flicking her cigarette on the floor and putting it out with one beautifully stiletto clad foot

"Hey Lu, thanks" I said hugging her

She rolled her eyes "Come on, let's go find me a loveboy for tonight"

* * *

It's high fashion frenzy at Louis Vuitton a couple of days later. My hair is being curled loosely and my eyes are severe and dark. It is after all the fall/winter show for one of the most glam fashion houses in the world. Lana and I were talking and giggling backstage. I was always nervous before a big show; my own show was set to be later that day. All the models were now sitting in makeup chairs lined up with rapid fire manicurists and makeup artists primping away.

"Argh, my fiancé is driving me crazy. He's in Luxembourg right now. This is the problem with trying to plan a wedding in only two weeks. It's just not possible. I mean we had to settle for pink tulips instead of orchids and now the design of my dress has to be changed if I want it ready in time" whined bleached blonde Alexandra Crossing to the model sitting next to her.

I mean sure these were major problems to have right before your wedding but it was really her tone that was annoying. She seemed nice, except for the bitchy, whiny, annoying part. Not to mention that her fiancé is the one and only Rainier Malfoy.

"Lana, can you please dispose of the skinny, platinum, airhead sitting four chairs down?" I sighed

"Well, well, well it looks like not everything is _not_ well in wedding paradise" she said with a little grin on her face.

"We're not even going to go on a honeymoon for three months, because he can't get time off work and we barely even have next weekend in between Milan and Melbourne fashion weeks to marry. And if we don't marry now, we can't get married for another five months. I wish we could wait, but he's insisting we get married right away. I, at least want an upgrade on my ring" Alexandra continued to moan.

In the mirror I saw Lana's eyes get wide at this and her perfect pout-y lips curl into an evil smirk.

"Oh no, I know that look. What are you scheming? "I said secretly excited

"So you know how your not sure if you still love Rainier, but you know you don't want him to marry Aussie Barbie over there…well this is perfect. I'm sure we can get Alexandra so riled up about the wedding that she complains so incessantly to Rainier, he'll have to postpone the wedding just so she shuts up."

"Are you kidding me? The wedding is in twelve days; I can't do that. Plus, everything will work out perfectly. I mean she's the hottest model around right now. People will bend over backwards to help her out."

"Hey, you listen to me. Who has four fall/winter and resort ad campaigns, while she got stuck doing Sport's Illustrated swimsuit edition? Yeah I'm the hottest model around, thank you very much. And trust me between your connections and mine; we can pretty much rule the world."

"You're crazy, you know that. This is impossible."

But Lana just smiled shrewdly.

* * *

So that's it for this chapter. Please read and Review. And a special thanks goes out to all those who have continued to read my story and have reviewed from the very begin. For a first time author who's first language is French it's really good to hear all the feedback. So again my sincere gratitude to all the reviewers. 


	19. A Yellow Rose

I know this is probably one of my slowest updates ever. Terribly sorry about that, but I've been away for the past two weeks. First to Paris for my sister Lillionette's wedding, then after the wedding I stayed in London with my father for a week, because I hardly ever see him. Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful reviews for last chapter, particularly those who have been reviewing since the beginning. I hope you all received my thank-you notes. I'm happy with this chapter. Please enjoy this next chapter and continue to review.

* * *

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XIX**

"Hart, Do you love me?" I ask as we sit on the balcony of his bedroom.

The breakfast dishes laid out on the delicately molded table lay forgotten as we smoke in the surprisingly clear April morning air. Usually at ten the Cornish coast, where Hart, Molly, Aiden and I are spending the weekend at their beach house is still foggy and damp. In the garden below, Molly and Aiden play tag after eating their breakfast while Siva, the house-elf/nanny, supervises, wincing every time one of them stumbles slightly on the roots of the ancient oak tree in the backyard.

I'm about to open my mouth again, thinking maybe Hart hadn't heard me, but then…

"Yes" He said finally lighting a cigarette. He did this to avoid talking, like when he didn't want to answer some stupid reporter's questions instead of responding with words he just blew smoke into their faces.

"Like you loved Brenna?" I muttered wishing even as it was on the tip of my tongue that I hadn't spoken again. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know what the sure to be blunt, and unintentionally hurtful answer might be.

"No, never like Brenna" he said blowing smoke out into the salty air. "It's impossible to love two different people the same way"

What he said really resonated with me right then. I knew that right then I loved Hart too. But I also understood something he was already aware of.

Any minute now it was all over. Hart and I loved each other, but knew from the beginning that we weren't in it forever at any point in our relationship. When all of this started we were both alone, he trapped in a loveless relationship and I just trapped in my own thoughts on love without anyone to share it with. Or so I thought.

"Molly and Aiden are going back to London to stay with Brenna later today. Siva's taking them." He said his voice resigned.

I turned my head towards him and I saw how self- assured he truly was, how he had probably been expecting this for some time now, how he was ready to just say goodbye and let this fall apart.

* * *

I pull the grey soft cotton t-shirt over his head and he undoes the metal button on my jean skirt. I kick out of the skirt while simultaneously undoing the buckle on his dark jeans. In a matter of seconds the rest of our clothing is discarded and forgotten as well. We don't bother with the bed, instead we kiss passionately, our lips crashing and bruising against each other and we fall onto the wooden floor of the bedroom. The balcony door is still open and the salty ocean air blows in mixing with the salt of the sweat of our skin as we make love one last time. Our bodies pound into each other. Lips kissing, marring the other's skin with memories of a needed lover. Scratches on the skin commemorating a love that maybe never should have happened but was fun all the same. I, Charlotte had given Hart a lost passion and inspiration and he, Hart had taught me to take conviction in my love, to not doubt the fervor I feel. Moaning and thrusting, feeling each other both inside and out one last time, I called his name as I came, my arms around his neck his fingers tangled up in my long ruby locks. He lay down on top of me gently careful not to crush my frail frame. He turned us over so I was on top and I collapsed onto his sweaty chest, the taste of him, the touch of the smooth pale skin, the smell of sex and Hart, of cigarettes and salt air and I would never forget him.

He kissed the top of my head gently as I lay naked in his arms, with only a cool white sheet covering our bare bodies, "We'll find it soon" he whispered against my silky strands.

* * *

"Charlotte! Mistress Ginny, Master Harry, Charlotte is here!" squealed Dobby our head house-elf.

"Hey Dobs, I brought you something from Paris." I said handing him a brightly colored package as I stepped into the Grand Entrance hall of Potter Manor. All of us were gathering for a Potter family dinner the first since the holidays. We tried to stay close, but we were hardly ever in the same country anymore.

Dobby eagerly ripped apart the paper and jumped into the air emitting a sound unknown to man in his delight. Inside were enormous arrays of socks. Chanel, Dior, Versace, and magical socks. My mother taken me to first fashion show at ten and Dobby went along as well and needless to say we both fell head over heels in love with fashion. Since then we had both become Vogue junkies. It was hilarious really.

"Hey Princess", my father enveloped me into a big hug and my mum kissed each of my cheeks.

"Hey Daddy is everyone here yet" I said returning his hug warmly.

"Caliber and Maxim are in the theatre watching futbowl" said my mum

"Ginny sweetheart it's football, anyway Jude just got in from Amsterdam this afternoon, but he should be here within the hour and Tierney and Dane are playing gobstones" said Dad as the three of us joined the rest of the family.

"No actually they're just throwing the game Ow! pieces at each other" said Cal as a gobstone hit him in the back of the head, "Hey Charlotte, ow! holy fu-"

"Language! Caliber Sirius Potter!" interrupted mum

"Merlin, mum drag out the middle name, hey princess, oh Dee told me to tell you that she's coming over on Tuesday and wants to know if you'll be in Paris or London"

"Um, Paris. Oh I forgot to tell you, I need to take your measurements, all of you actually for the wedding party. Dee's dress has taken…"

"Charlotte, breathe darling, has anyone told you lately that you work too hard" interjected Mum.

"Yeah and play hard too, if you believe what you read in witch weekly" said Max

"Maxim watch the game" said Dad cuffing Max on the side of the head playfully.

"God, you're always so much nicer when Dee's around, maybe I should tell her not to marry you after all" I teased

"Oh ha ha" Max said sarcastically

"Charlotte when are you going to get married, because Dee said I'm the flower girl, but I want to be a bridesmaid, oh please can I be a bridesmaid at your wedding please, please, please, _please" _pleaded Tierney, her dark auburn ringlets bouncing around, her big green eyes shining.

"Yeah please Charlotte make me a bridesmaid too" commented Jude from the doorway.

"You know I'm not sure how I feel about my rockstar brother dressed up in silk at my wedding. I'm sorry but I don't think my wedding is quite the place to debut your inner drag queen"

"Jude I think you'll have plenty of opportunity to cross dress before then, since Charlotte first has to find a husband" said Ginny giving me a look.

I rolled my eye and looked towards Dad hopefully.

"Alright, alright leave Charlotte alone you guys and Ginny personally I'm not any rush to give her away" added Dad

"Oh alright" my mother resigned "Come on, Tierney, Dane put that away and wash your hands, dinner should be finished by now."

Dinner passed relatively uneventfully. We ate and talked and joked and teased. Everyone had their turn, Maxim because of the flowery lavender and light green wedding he had conceded to, Caliber because of all the knickers and love potions he had received upon late after being named Witch Weekly's sexiest man of the year, Jude because of his new song "Pout" the one he had written for this girl Calista even though she had no idea, Tierney because of how much she "hated" Holden Wood a classmate of hers at Aunt Hermione's magical minors academy, Dane because while at one of mum's benefit dinners the weekend prior she told him to put butter dishes out on the table but instead he put whipped cream, and me of course because I have yet to find a husband.

"It's just that when I was your age I was married with Caliber already" was the line my mother fed me now that I'm approaching twenty.

"Hey Princess, Hermione gave me a book for you the other day. I think she was going to send it to you but I told her you would be here." Dad said as the dishes were being cleared.

"Oh right, I asked her to find me a book on the wizarding high-society of the late 19th century. It's my latest inspiration"

"It's on the desk in my study"

I got up from the table and walked up the stairs towards the left wing of the manor where my parents' bedroom, dad's study, mom's drawing room, the left atrium, and the morning parlor all were.

Sure enough on the desk was a heavy volume with glossy photos of socialites of a by-gone era. I picked up the weighty tome, accidentally knocking a few papers off the polished mahogany desk. It was then I noticed what exactly fell onto the Persian carpeting. I picked up the thick textured card printed with ornate silver writing

_You are cordially invited to _

_the Wedding of_

_Mister Rainier Draconus Malfoy_

_And _

_Miss Alexandra Marie Crossing _

Listed below were the date, time and place of which I didn't bother reading. I immediately felt a strange mixture of anger and frustration, but I didn't know why. Still clenching the invitation tightly in my hands I ran back downstairs to the dining room.

"What is this!" I yelled waving the now crumpled card in my hand; only Caliber and Dad were still sitting at the table talking quidditch. Take that for fucking irony.

"What is what? Charlotte what are you on about" said a flabbergasted Cal.

"This!" I yelled slamming the card down on the table.

"Charlotte come on, I told you over a week ago that Rainier was getting married."

"I know but seeing that invitation. He didn't even invite me. He should have invited me. That, that should have been me!"

"Charlotte that's a brand new invitation, your mother and I only just got it yesterday. Rainier and his fiancé changed the date till after the quidditch season is over now" said Dad

"Oh yeah something about how one of the models Alexandra met during Paris Fashion Week, oh um your friend Lana, anyway I guess her sister got married and she was talking about how it had taken five months to plan that affair and that it had been one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and all this other shit so Alexandra convinced Rainier to postpone because she wanted the wedding to be better" explained Cal

"Are you going?" I asked Dad

"Of course I'm going, Charlotte he's been playing on my team for the past year and a half. "

"Dad, can you leave Charlotte and me alone for a minute I need to talk to her?" Cal said staring at me with his hazel eyes.

"Sure, I guess" Dad said he got up and left the room, but not without giving me a quick kiss on the head. I did my best to return his smile.

"You are unfucking believable you know that!" Cal started suddenly

"What! What are talking about?"

"Stop being so selfish, and let him be happy. Stop interfering I know you had something to do with postponing the wedding."

"Fine, okay you're right I did, but they're still getting married aren't they. I couldn't stop that"

"Not yet, maybe, but who knows what you and your friends will come up with next. Godammit why the fuck can't you just let him be."

"Because he won't be happy with her, not the way I can make him happy."

"Maybe, but I've met her and she might not know her left from right, but she won't hurt him either."

"You act as if I meant to hurt him. I had to leave if I was going to do anything for myself in this world"

"No, stop making this about you, and don't be so fucking melodramatic."

"Does he love her? You told me once that when we were together, I was all he could ever talk about. Does he talk about her? You told me that every now and then he would come up to you and just say 'I love her' during the middle of practice. Does he do that?"

"He likes her enough to marry her and maybe that's all he needs."

"Don't be stupid you would never do that, Mum and Dad never did that and they grow more in love everyday, you've never settled, you've never given up the memory of Sophie to settle."

"Shut up, just shut the fuck up! You know I have my own reasons to never marry again, to never fall in love. You may be my sister, and I'll support you through whatever no matter what, but you owe it to Rainier, to yourself and to Colton, yes that's right I can tell what's been going with you two, to figure this out, to make a fucking decision and stick to it. You have very small window of opportunity to change this. You left him, you left him. "

"He could have followed"

"You could have come back. Alexandra was there when he needed someone, anyone. Where were you?" and with that Caliber walked out of the dining room, leaving me alone.

It's true. It's all true. Everything he said. How the fuck do I figure out what it all means though?

I know I have to see Rainier again. Even if it is just one last time.

* * *

Colton and I are sitting in the living room on the suede couch that faces the big bay window looking out over the Paris skyline. I told him of everything that had transpired between me and Caliber.

"Do you love him? I mean just answer this yes or no. Either you love Rainier or you don't." he said looking at me sincerely, amber eyes mixing with my own emerald.

I didn't respond and after a while he just sipped his vodka tonic.

"Your rich and gorgeous and people love you. And I'm from France and this is my fourth drink and I'm a little drunk. Can I tell you the truth?" he said suddenly

"Of course, it seems everybody does" I said confused

He took another drink and turned away from me "I know this girl and I dig her, and I've never said this before about any girl. But she could be, could be, could be the girl of my fucking dreams.

"You're not really from France" I said pathetically staring at his profile

"I know" he muttered taking another drink.

* * *

It's unusually warm for April tonight. Two days later and two days before he's gone for another five months only to return to marry. I run my hands through my scarlet strands and sit waiting. I told Rainier to meet me here, quietly, secretly. I sent him a letter, hoping he would respond but hoping that he would forget about it too. That he would simply just never say a thing to me again, never look at me, never even think about me.

32 rue Cambon, it says Charlotte Potter above the door. 31 rue Cambon says Chanel. A premier location for one of the premier designers in the world says L'Officiel about my boutique.

I'm startled at the sound of the back door opening, even though it's nine o'clock sharp. And there I see him for the first time in a year. Tall, strong physique. Blonde shaggy hair, tan, piercing blue-gray eyes. Devastatingly handsome and once mine. He looked the same except for his eyes. His eyes looked at me differently now, with love, but with caution.

Despite the warmth I shiver and rub my skinny arms. In his hand he holds a pale yellow rose, a reminder of night we had nearly a year ago that changed us both forever. I don't move, but he walks towards me, he's nervous and his hand shakes a little as he hands me the flower. Still we're both silent.

A while passes and the two of us just stare taking each other in for the first time. I look at him from top to bottom, just seeing him. His blue t-shirt and dark jeans. His brown leather shoes. His strong arms dusted lightly with golden hairs and I can almost feel them around me again.

I asked him here it's clear I need to say something first. I take a deep breath

"Rainier I-" I say finally

"Charlotte" he says my name both a curse and a prayer on his lips

I gather myself, not daring to fall apart now when he's here and I need to say what has to be said.

"I'm glad you came. I hoped you would. I wanted to see you, I needed to see you one last time before you-", I couldn't say it I couldn't say married.

"I know, I needed to see you to. I wouldn't have asked though. I'm happy you did. See, we still know what each other needs." He said looking straight at me

"Do we? Did I ever?"

"Yes, you would always make me laugh when I was too serious"

"You usually had reason to know when to be serious"

"You were seventeen going on eighteen when we first got together I knew that, but still I wanted you to love me like you were older"

"That's not fair, stop trying to be the nice guy here. I left not because of you, but because I wanted more despite everything I had"

"And you got what you wanted right. I mean look at this place it's phenomenal, you're one of the world's best designers and your only nineteen, you've got an amazing modeling career and I hated you for leaving but look at what you've done."

"What about now? Do you still hate me?"

"No of course not."

"Why not? Why can't you just hate me? Things would be so much easier if you did"

"I want to, believe me I want to, I want to hate you and never think of you, never. I want to forget you ever existed, but I can't. I still l-"

"Don't! Don't say that. Don't say it. I know what your going to say, but don't. Do you love her?"

"Alexandra, sure I do. But I love you first Charlotte"

"Then why did you do it? How could you propose?"

"I had to! Don't you get it! I had to! I'm in fucking Croatia, the last stop on the Quidditch World Tour and I arrive back in London for the first time in four fucking months. The first thing I see on the cover of the Daily Prophet is you half-naked and half-fucking Hart Barron. That same fucking night I proposed to Alexandra. That same night, I'm making love to her and all I see is you and him in my mind. He's holding and kissing you in places that used to be mine alone. And I know he's not the first since me. I may be all over the world but I've heard all about your midnight escapades with several others, but I think he's the first you've had breakfast with after sex in a long time!"

In a matter of milliseconds his lips are on mine. His hands tangled up in my hair. My arms clutching around him. I'm surprised but kiss back trying to feel what still should have been there for us both. I notice again that familiar tendency of his to kiss me as slowly as possible. Every time I push my lips on his more urgently he stops and waits and slows me down. But there isn't time for us to slow down, who knows how long this will last now. And the door opens again.

"Hey Princess, you didn't say you were going to be late. I came by just to see if everything's okay-"

It's Colton. I know without looking. I pull away and see him standing in the doorway. Green on Gold and then he turns away looks at Rainier. I can feel Rainier tense up beside me, he starts towards Colton and I push back

"Colton I-" I begin to say. But no, he turns around and walks out the door, slamming it closed behind him.

"So maybe it wasn't Hart that I should have been worried about"

"Rainier don't start this"

"Start what Charlotte, you started this, you started that, you…Fuck!" he curses slamming his down onto the sales counter behind me.

"So we're back to this again. You know what; I didn't know why you asked me here. I thought wow she must have something really important to say, but I get here and all I hear is that you still don't know what the fuck you want. Nothing's changed and until you figure this whole fucking thing out…I'm done"

"I have to…" I trail off not sure what it is I have to do, but trying to keep from crying. I grab my purse and rush out the door, chasing after something. Or is it someone.

* * *

I open the door to my flat. I toss my things into the corner of the small entryway. I walk into the living room with the intent to go to the kitchen and find something for my pounding headache then to lie down in my room and just sleep.

"So did Rainier drop you off? Walk you to the door, kiss you goodnight." Colton says bitterly a I walk out of the kitchen. He has a half-empty bottle of firewhiskey in his hands and there's an already empty bottle on the floor.

"How come you didn't invite him in? Why would you care if I were here? What does it matter anyway?"

I ignore him but he follows me into my room. I turn on the light, slip off my shoes and place them in my closet.

"You slept with me. Did you sleep with him? Does it matter? Did he make you scream? You said he never really did. But I do? Don't I? Come on how about one more time to compare then? Or maybe just for old times sake" he said grabbing my hand and sitting down on the edge of the bed

"I'm not a whore" I muttered

"I wouldn't pay" he whispered against my ear. I turn around and slap him clear across the face. A red handprint lingers and I break down into tears then collapse against his chest. I cry but eventually quiet and close my eyes. Colton picks me up and lays me down on the bed, but I pretend to be asleep. He switches the light off and kisses my cheek with a heartbreaking tenderness.

"I love you, I love you so much, if you leave with him, just know I love you. No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?" he whispered and with that he left. One silent tear rolled down my face.

Maybe I've known all along.

* * *

So this story is coming to a close probably between two and four more chapters left. As you can see I don't have a clear cut outline. This was actually going to be two chapters, but since I made you wait and I receved the most revies of any of my chapters I made it longer. Comments and criticism are as always welcome. Thanks again for reading, please review 


	20. Paris Holds the Key to her Heart:Charms

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XX**

"_So how do I look?" the five year old me asked giggling. _

_I had snuck into my parents' dressing room and thrown on a mad mix of mum's couture, wizarding clothes, and my dad's quidditch robes. The waist of mum's black silk gown pooled around my ankles and a Chudley Cannons t- shirt tied over my little waist forming a bulky belt. It was all topped off of course by layers of gold, pearls and even an orange jockstrap hung around my neck not to mention an oversized flowered wizard's that slid down to my nose with a brim so wide you could comfortably have afternoon tea up there. _

"_I don't know I can't see your beautiful face under this thing, and it's too wide to ever kiss you" laughed a seven year old Colton lifting up the brim of the hat our faces so close I could count each of his eyelashes. A funny thing to notice._

"_Kiss me? What would you want to do that for?" I said scrunching up my nose, smiling wryly._

"_Sorry, but what did you say? You heard me all wrong. I said it's too wide to ever miss you. I'd be able to spot you from ten city blocks away", he said quickly._

"_So, no hat then?"_

"_No hat"_

"_Do you really think I'm beautiful?"_

"Miss" a strange voice said to me as I felt my shoulder being shaken, "sorry to wake you miss, but we've arrived at the station"

I rubbed my face with one hand and gathered my purse and a trunk filled with garment bags and walked out onto the platform where Dee and Maxim were waiting.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Delilah, I know this sounds super cheesy and everything, but how did you know that Maxim was _the_ one" I said pinning the back of the white wedding dress. The wedding is in only a week and I was back in England at Morningsong Manor for last minute fittings and whatnot.

"Well, I suppose I don't. Not really. But, I love him and he loves me with all his heart and never once have I questioned that." She said

"But how do you _know_? How could you say yes you're it forever and ever and never doubt that?" I insisted marking the fabric.

"Because…" Dee stopped and then smiled a brilliant smile, big blue eyes shining, "because I know how he likes his cereal in the morning, how many slices of strawberry, because I know how his right eyebrow twitches and fists clench when somebody even thinks about insulting the England quidditch team, because I feel the way his arm tightens around me when another man so much as looks at me, because I feel it in everything I do and in twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years it's still going to be there, I believe that."

"He told me he loved me, Dee. I mean I suppose I wasn't meant to hear it since he thought I was asleep, but Colton, he loves me" I blurted out.

Delilah just looked at me, hands on hips.

"Well, duh a blind person could see that. He's loved you for years; he's loved you for as long as I can remember."

"And you never thought about maybe telling me, since you know I am you're best friend?" I accused

"Oh please, he's my other best friend and it's not like I've told him every secret you've told me. He's was going to tell you, when you graduated because he wanted you two to be able to have a life together. But then Rainier happened and then you were sick, and he didn't know what to do. I told him to tell you, but then Rainier happened again and it just never… she said trailing off.

"So he's waited nineteen years. Is he really planning on ever telling me?"

"Charlotte, the moment was never right"

"We've been living together for the past year and a half, we've been sleeping together on and off for the past I don't know eight, nine months"

"He wanted you to be happy. He didn't want to complicate things. When you first started sleeping together, it was basically nothing to you and everything to him and he was willing to take every bit of you you were willing to give."

"But it wasn't 'nothing' to me. I know I acted like it was. I fooled everyone, even myself. I just, I needed him and that was the only way I knew how. He kept going out with these beautiful women, and I started to feel things I wasn't supposed to."

"Why can't you just let yourself feel, Charlotte?" After a beat she added, "You know in marriage you're not signing your life away. It's like you're letting someone sign up to be the one who receives you completely mind, body, and soul. And if Rainier could just do that…" she looked troubled and just looked at me.

"You can love more than once in your life, but it's like somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband"

I smiled at the familiar use of Dee-logic "So your vote is for Colton then?"

"No, my vote is for the one that's your going to love forever"

"But they both said they'd love me"

"This isn't about them, Charlotte. Who do you love?"

"Turn around" I said placing one last pin along the back seam of the dress.

Dee looks at herself in the mirror, smiling. I see her glance at a picture of her and Maxim on the vanity. She smiles even wider and I don't think I've ever seen her so beautiful, despite the fact that her hair is a ponytail and she doesn't have a spot of makeup on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_You're leaving soon aren't you?" I said my bottom lip quivering and I looked down at the floor trying not to cry. _

_We were at a party. Colton and Sebastian's graduation party actually. He and Delilah's older brother were now fully a part of the adult society. Sebastian who wanted to study herbology like his father, my uncle Neville, would leave for Argentina soon and begin traveling the world sending samples of plants back to England. Colton on the other hand was moving to Paristo attend the Sorbonne school of Law and to work as a wizarding lawyer at one of the most esteemed firms in the wizarding world. It was an unbelievable opportunity, but it made me sad to see him go. _

"_Well, yes but don't look like that I'll see you at Christmas." He said placing one hand under my chin lifting my head up to look at him. _

"_But Colton that's ages away" the fifteen year old me whined._

"_Come here, I need to show you something" he said grabbing my hand pulling me upstairs away from the commotion of the crowded party and into his bedroom at Lupin's Den._

"_Ooh is it a present I love presents. But this is your graduation. What are you getting me something for?"_

"_Like you said you love presents. So, here" he said handing me a cardboard box_

_I sat down on his bed and ripped it open eagerly and looked inside "A box of trash, thanks how did you know?" I said sarcastically not seeing anything except packaging matter in the box._

"_Just keep looking" _

_I sifted through the paper again and found inside a little charm. It was a gold heart and engraved was: Paris holds the key to her heart_

"_Oh is that what you think you are?" I asked him smiling coyly._

_Colton sat next to me. He scratched the back of his head and looked at the floor shyly almost nervously. _

"_Charlotte, you and I have been friends, best friends, since forever." He said still looking down but moving closer towards me. I felt my heart speed up as he looked at me. Our faces were a mere inch apart," I wonder sometimes, well actually almost all the time if we could ever, I mean if we-"_

"_There you two are, come on Colton your dad and I have a special surprise for you" said my Aunt Tonks interrupting the moment._

_I pocketed the charm and the three of us walked down the stairs. _

The alarm clock on the bedside table of Morningsong's guest bedroom rang waking me the next morning with a start. It was the second time in a row I had dreamt of Colton. I got up and walked over to the chintz chair in the corner where my new Chloe bag was. I dug through my purse and found my wallet. Inside in a zippered coin pocket lay the heart charm. I always had it with me, whether on a chain around my neck, in a lapel pocket or in my purse.

Rainier was leaving today.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

This is kind of a two part of chapter with the next one. I split it up because the story just flowed better that way. That will be the last chapter and it will maybe followed by an epilogue. I don't know yet though. Please review.


	21. Paris Holds the Key to her Heart: Kisses

So this is it the last chapter. Please read and review, but most of all, I hope you like it.

**Confessions of a Potter Princess XXI**

I ring the doorbell of the West End townhouse again where Rainier is currently living. I'm shaking in anticipation and I resist the urge to ring more than twice.

"Come on answer." I mumble looking up at the window of the third story, where I see the shadow of a person moving.

I run a hand through my long red hair nervously. If he doesn't answer in the next two minutes I'm leaving.

The door opens as I turn around to walk away. And there Rainier stands looking at me incredulously.

"Hi" I said. He steps back silently so that I can walk in.

"Cal told me where you lived." I said as we sit down in the living room. He stares at me blankly.

" So you're leaving tonight for Saudi Arabia. Good luck, my dad and Cal said they have a really good team this year."

Still, nothing but silence.

"I-" I start to speak again then stop and reach into the pocket of my blue skirt and feel the little heart charm. I take a deep breath and look at him. And it's fine because as we make eye contact I feel a wave of recognition wash over me. It wasn't what I expected to feel. Yet, it makes sense because I know what I'm doing is right and that confidence is what pushed me to speak again without any uneasiness.

"I need to show you something" I said pulling the heart charm out of my pocket and handing it to Rainier

"Colton" he said after reading the charm

"He gave it to me when I was fifteen right before he left for Paris. I never realized it then, but now as I look back on that moment, I see how close he was to telling me that he loved me"

He shrugged noncommittally "What is this about Charlotte?"

I turned to face him before I spoke again, knowing that I could look at him and say these things without any qualms whatsoever.

"Please just let me talk. Just let me explain. When I met you, you turned my life upside down. I had never felt that way about anyone before. I loved you so much, but it was always just a bit off. I always felt so guilty. I could never love you enough, or not the way you wanted. I was so happy with you, but my career started taking off and for once it was the chance for to me to prove that I was more than Harry Potter's trust fund daughter. So I took it and left you. I didn't, I still don't regret it, but I regret the way it happened. I always wanted to love you the way you loved me and I look back on everything and I see all the times you told me how much you loved me forever and I laughed it off and that hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was so selfish and I couldn't figure out why you would be upset with me. What you have to know is I loved you and I need you to always remember that because what we had was real. For the past year and a half I always thought I was still half in love with you, but you deserve so much more than that."

He looked away from me and stared at his hands, his fingers rubbing over the charm.

"I'm surprised you came by at all. To tell you the truth, I knew that you loved me, but if I was going to lose you to anybody than it would be him. In fact, if you asked me back when we were together what would be the one thing that could break us up, I never would have said your career. No, I would have said Colton"

He placed the heart charm back in my hand. "I knew the minute you ran out the door in Paris that this would be how it all ended", he said rubbing his hands over his face

"What do you mean?" I whispered

"You going after Colton; Me letting you go"

I leaned forward tentatively and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It didn't make my heartbeat faster or my palms sweat or breathing shallow the way it used to. It felt different now, like saying goodbye to an old dear friend you wouldn't see again for a long time.

* * *

There was no music swelling. No slow motion hugs or run and leaps into each other's arms. I didn't even go back to Paris. Dee asked me to stay with her, but instead I got a room at the Crown Royal hotel and spent the next week alone. I needed to make sure that if I was going to do this I was going to be ready. Colton deserved only the best of me.

Tomorrow I would see him again for the first time since he said I love you. And the knowledge that he loved me, the feeling that it gave me, made me want tomorrow to happen now. And that is what love is.

* * *

Jemina Lupin, Colton's younger sister, Theodora Marriott, Shelly Hankinson, a friend of Dee's from Bewitched magazine where Dee had been working for the past year, Carolina Gaitan Longbottom, Dee's sister-in-law and I all looked gorgeous in the light orchid purple gowns. As Matron of Honor my dress had an elegant design of carefully sewn amethysts right below the chest.

But it was Delilah who looked more radiant than ever. The white strapless floor length gown had taken a total of 264 hours. But seeing Dee smile when she looked at herself in the mirror made it so completely worth it. The bodice had strands of small freshwater pearls criss-crossed diagonally creating a subtle shine to the delicate white silk. The full skirt had handmade lace appliqués sewn randomly about and flowed out from just below the natural waist. Her décolletage was illuminated by a large but simple marquis diamond pendant. Her long bright blonde hair flowed in subtle romantic waves over her narrow shoulder and down her back. She was crowned with a wreath of orchids and violets from which the wispy sheer veil was attached.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. The St. Albus Cathedral in Godric's Hollow was filled to bursting with hundreds of guests. Tierney, the rambunctious flower girl, twirled down the aisle showering not only the nave with shimmering petals, but also most of the guests. Dane, the ring bearer, carried up the little silk pillow laden with gold rings and just as he reached the altar sneezed allover them. Soon Jemina, Theodora, Shelly, Carolina and I walked down the aisle accompanied by Wynter, Dee's younger brother, Caliber, Jude, Sebastian and Colton respectively.

The entire time Colton and I walked down the aisle I was barely aware of where of what was happening around me. My arm was tingling from where we were touching and I was so nervous to be near him for the first time since he told me he loved me I thought I was going to faint. But in a good way, of course. I couldn't help it he looked so handsome in his tuxedo. I smiled at Maxim excitedly before taking my place at the altar.

The ceremony was beautiful. I think. I know the only person crying harder than Mum was Grandmum Weasley. I tried to focus on the vows and everything, but Colton was standing right there and now that I knew I loved him my heart was bursting with the need to tell him. How could he have possibly kept it a secret for so long?

"You may kiss the bride" said the priest finally

Maxim leaned forward and kissed Delilah and the church absolutely exploded into cheers.

The reception was being held at Potter Manor only five minutes away and it was a mad rush to my childhood home and into the gardens where our house elves had prepared a feast. The garden looked magical alight with candles and purple and white flowers.

Finally I was able to offer my personal congratulations to Dee and Max.

I grabbed them both and hugged them tightly "I'm just so happy for you!" I exclaimed

"Ow! Thanks Charlotte. Need air now" breathed out Max

I laughed as I let them go.

"Can you believe it we're really sisters now!" Dee said this time pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Only legally, you've always been my sister" I said sincerely

Max slipped a hand around Dee's waist and pulled her close, kissing her on the cheek, before whispering something in her ear.

"Do you know one thing that could make the best day of my life even better?" Dee said smiling.

She didn't wait for a response but just kept going, "You finding your true love too. Come on, Charlotte, do it, tell Colton how you feel."

"I want to, I do. I looked earlier, but I couldn't find him anywhere there are so many people here."

"Really because I seemed to have found him right over there" said Maxim pointing a little ways behind and to the left of me. Sure enough there was Colton staring right at me.

"Come on Charlotte, do it ", Dee urged poking me in the back. I smiled once more at them both and walked straight towards Colton.

"Colton I-", I began to say

"Shh, Come with me, I need to talk to you" said Colton grabbing my hand and we went inside to the west atrium of Potter Manor.

"Sit down" he said letting my hand go and gesturing to the marble bench with the ivory seat cushions. He made to sit down too, before changing his mind and pacing the stone floor quickly running his hands over his golden brown hair.

"I know that Rainier loves you. I mean how he could not when you're you! You're gorgeous and funny, and smart and crazy and fun and everything you could ever want. And I've never said this to anyone in the romantic sense in the twenty-one years I've been alive. And I've been meaning to tell you this since we were just little kids playing dress-up in your parents' room. But, I always found an excuse not to tell you. Ugh I've just been so stupid. But the truth is I love you. I've never told anybody about this other than Dee. Charlotte I am in love with you and I've wanted to tell you for ages and ages but if you rejected me I couldn't stand the thought of having to be away from you. And with Rainier here again I have to tell you, because this may be my only chance if you go away with him and-"

I cut off his rapid ramblings "You're right. You have been stupid"

Colton stopped in his tracks and just looked at me blankly.

I looked up at him and smiled bashfully "You're it Colton. I love you. I may have always loved you, but I was just too stupid to see it. But Colton you're the one and I love you"

I stood up and walked towards him. He had a surprised look on his face like he couldn't believe what I had just said.

"I love you" I whispered again, because it just felt so good to say it

He caressed my left cheek with his left hand and stepped even closer. I laughed softly to myself as I noticed that I could count all his eyelashes.

"Oh Charlotte" he whispered his amber eyes locked on mine "I've always loved you"

He leaned down and kissed me slowly and that was it, his perfect lips on mine and my whole body just melted in his strong arms. It didn't get any better than this.

* * *

Well that's it. It's over. It's taken seven months but I'd like to thank everyone who's stuck with this story since the beginning it means so much to me. I really wanted to finish this before I leave for Brazil and then I'll be gone for seven straight weeks to various parts of the globe. I've got another story in the works about Caliber. Thank you to everyone who's read this story I had a lot of fun writing it and I hoped you enjoyed it. -prinadean 


	22. Confessions of a Potter Princess

I apologize for the delay in the posting of the ending . I had it all finished before I left for Brazil I promise . But the document loader wasn't working for me and then I had problems with my internet . So sorry again and thank you to everyone who has reviewed and read this story.

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**Confessions of a Potter Princess: Epilogue**

I'd lying if I said that was the happiest moment of my life. My happiest moment was my wedding six short months later. My mother as you can imagine was more than overjoyed.

We've been married for two years now and are trying our best to have a baby. It's been hard though for me to get pregnant. But he's supportive. He doesn't blame me.

Things haven't always been absolutely perfect. When we moved to Maison d'Fleur right after the wedding, just outside of Paris we argued over what color to paint the kitchen. Three months ago when I was offered a chance to work in Milan we argued over whether or not we should move. He told me take it. I said I could design anywhere. He said I might not get another chance. I told him that we both loved Paris and if I wanted to take a chance on anything it would be to start a family.

I can't believe I lived so long without him. I mean sure he's always been there, but being in love with Colton. Well, there's no better feeling in the world.

In case you're wondering, Rainier never married Alexandra. They broke off their engagement and Rainier is dating a beautiful, wonderful muggle girl named Torina he met while playing in Rome. I have a feeling that she's the one for him. They came to my wedding together as friends, but it soon progressed to much more.

I wouldn't say we're friends really. We were too intense for that to ever happen I think. But he and Cal are good friends and when we see each other we do our best to keep each other updated on our lives.

Hart got back together with his Hogwart's sweetheart. They moved in together. They're expecting their second child. He sends me a Christmas card and I send him an Easter basket.

I've experienced the world for myself now. Everyone says live life no regrets, but you can't really. I regret using drugs and nearly starving myself to death. I regret wearing that blue dress to Jemina and Wynter's Hogwarts graduation. I regret sleeping around with all those guys right after Rainier.

But, these are my confessions. The Confessions of a Potter Princess. And, Colton's been there through all of it. He experienced my regret with me and he always knew how to pick me back up.

My life's had its ups and downs and it always will. I am only twenty- one after all. But this is a new beginning of my life now with Colton. It's not perfect but it's my fairy tale ending.

Once upon a time I met a boy who told me he loved me. He said he always would. He made me believe in love too. He asked me for forever. I didn't know how long that was. Once upon a time I met a boy who made me crazy. Crazy and Crazier in dark corridors and locked closets. Once upon a time I found a boy who said he always loved me. And once upon a time we found happily ever after.

The End


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